OPEN LETTER TO KANSAS SCHOOL BOARD:

CC:
  • DOVER SCHOOL BOARD (PENNSYLVANIA)
  • OHIO STATE SCHOOL BOARD
  • RIO RANCHO SCHOOL BOARD (NEW MEXICO)
  • GRANTSBURG SCHOOL BOARD (WISCONSIN)
  • COBB COUNTY SCHOOL BOARD(GEORGIA)
  • SHELBY COUNTY SCHOOL BOARD(TENNESSEE)
  • CHARLES COUNTY SCHOOL BOARD(MARYLAND)
  • NAPERVILLE SCHOOL BOARD(ILLINOIS)
  • DARBY SCHOOL BOARD (MONTANA)
  • BLUFFTON-HARRISON SCHOOL BOARD (INDIANA)

I am writing you with much concern after having read of your hearing to decide whether the alternative theory of Intelligent Design should be taught along with the theory of Evolution. I think we can all agree that it is important for students to hear multiple viewpoints so they can choose for themselves the theory that makes the most sense to them. I am concerned, however, that students will only hear one theory of Intelligent Design.

Let us remember that there are multiple theories of Intelligent Design. I and many others around the world are of the strong belief that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. It was He who created all that we see and all that we feel. We feel strongly that the overwhelming scientific evidence pointing towards evolutionary processes is nothing but a coincidence, put in place by Him.

It is for this reason that I’m writing you today, to formally request that this alternative theory be taught in your schools, along with the other two theories. In fact, I will go so far as to say, if you do not agree to do this, we will be forced to proceed with legal action. I’m sure you see where we are coming from. If the Intelligent Design theory is not based on faith, but instead another scientific theory, as is claimed, then you must also allow our theory to be taught, as it is also based on science, not on faith.

Some find that hard to believe, so it may be helpful to tell you a little more about our beliefs. We have evidence that a Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe. None of us, of course, were around to see it, but we have written accounts of it. We have several lengthy volumes explaining all details of His power. Also, you may be surprised to hear that there are over 10 million of us, and growing. We tend to be very secretive, as many people claim our beliefs are not substantiated by observable evidence. What these people don’t understand is that He built the world to make us think the earth is older than it really is. For example, a scientist may perform a carbon-dating process on an artifact. He finds that approximately 75% of the Carbon-14 has decayed by electron emission to Nitrogen-14, and infers that this artifact is approximately 10,000 years old, as the half-life of Carbon-14 appears to be 5,730 years. But what our scientist does not realize is that every time he makes a measurement, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage. We have numerous texts that describe in detail how this can be possible and the reasons why He does this. He is of course invisible and can pass through normal matter with ease.

I’m sure you now realize how important it is that your students are taught this alternate theory. It is absolutely imperative that they realize that observable evidence is at the discretion of a Flying Spaghetti Monster. Furthermore, it is disrespectful to teach our beliefs without wearing His chosen outfit, which of course is full pirate regalia. I cannot stress the importance of this enough, and unfortunately cannot describe in detail why this must be done as I fear this letter is already becoming too long. The concise explanation is that He becomes angry if we don’t.

You may be interested to know that global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of Pirates since the 1800s. For your interest, I have included a graph of the approximate number of pirates versus the average global temperature over the last 200 years. As you can see, there is a statistically significant inverse relationship between pirates and global temperature.

In conclusion, thank you for taking the time to hear our views and beliefs. I hope I was able to convey the importance of teaching this theory to your students. We will of course be able to train the teachers in this alternate theory. I am eagerly awaiting your response, and hope dearly that no legal action will need to be taken. I think we can all look forward to the time when these three theories are given equal time in our science classrooms across the country, and eventually the world; One third time for Intelligent Design, one third time for Flying Spaghetti Monsterism, and one third time for logical conjecture based on overwhelming observable evidence.

Sincerely Yours,

Bobby Henderson, concerned citizen.

P.S. I have included an artistic drawing of Him creating a mountain, trees, and a midget. Remember, we are all His creatures.




HELP SPREAD THE WORD

with FSM Brochures, Flyers and Posters you can download free here

Want to see how it's done? Check out PROPAGANDA IN ACTION here








ANNOUNCEMENTS

You can purchase this one-of-a-kind Plush FSM on eBay - All proceeds go to the National Center for Science Education! here. Auction ended - Sold for $510.00 !!



The FSM think tank, the Enlightenment Institute, needs your help in finding evidence to support His existence. Science Creative Quarterly is helping us get started by offering a fantastic prize of $100 worth of Ramen (~1000 packets) for the best evidence that the Flying Spaghetti Monster exists. Check out the rules of the contest at SCQ and submit your entries directly to them.

$100 = ramen X 1000


LATEST NEWS

11/17/05 - Propaganda in action: Pastarians invade Catalina here


We were mentioned on MobuzzTV here


11/16/05 - pitch.com: Unnatural Selection: Connie Morris - Kansas State Board of Education anti-evolutionist here

11/15/05 - The Australian: Curriculum design as intelligent as flying spaghetti monsters here

The Dallas Morning News: Clarence Page: Keeping ID out of science classes here . NOTE TO MEDIA: I am not a "slot-machine engineer". Quit saying that.

Check out this Pirate-Fish flash animation - small - large


11/14/05 - FSM on CNN - download the clip here (24MB. Right click, save)


More hate-mails added.

11/13/05 - How-to make your own FSM Pirate-Fish stencil here
1 2 4 3

Try this: who does google return for the search "creator of the universe"?

11/12/05 - Apparently there are lots of Pastafarians in Sweden. All these articles are in Swedish, i.e. gibberish:
Pastamonster istället för Darwin
Spagettimonster det nya hotet mot Darwin
Intelligent spagetti blir storindustri

11/11/05 - Interesting search rankings for this site:
"intelligent design" - #5 on google (Note: the Discovery Institute is #9. We win.)
"open letter" - #1 on google , #1 on msn
"letter" - #5 on google , #2 on msn
"kansas" - #11 on google
"bobby" - #5 on google
"open" - #40 on google
"intelligent" - #3 on google
"spaghetti" - #2 on google , #1, #7, and #8 on msn
"monster" - #5 on google
"where do midgets shop?" - #2 on google (Thanks to Mrs. Gooeld for this one. I suspect she has a midget fetish.)

11/10/05 - We were mentioned on CNN's The Situation Room with Wolf Blitzer today. Transcript here (bottom paragraph: "One individual...")

More TV - Exclusive interview with the FSM on G4's Attack of the Show here. You can watch the video from the site.

FSM on Der Spiegel: Etappensieg für die Bibelfrommen here (german)

11/9/05 - University of Maryland DiamondBack Online: Flying Spaghetti Monsterism spreads its noodles here

CommonGround: Intelligent Design? Use your noodle: here

The Kansas School Board voted, not surprisingly, to teach alternative theories to evolution, specifically Intelligent Design, without inclusion of Flying Spaghetti Monsterism in the curriculum. They claim all sides of the issue should be taught, but make no mention of the best established and fastest growing theory of our origins - FSM. This should only strengthen the resolve of Pastafarians everywhere. Spread the word - they can't ignore us forever!

11/5/05 - ReporterMag: Giving the Flying Spaghetti Monster His Say here

11/4/05 - Political support for FSM from Indiana House of Representatives speaker Brian Bosma: "I think it's fair to allow and perhaps require students to be taught that there may be more than one explanation for the creation of the world."

11/3/05 - MediaBistro - Inside the Flying Spaghetti Monster Book Deal here

11/2/05 - Check out the Jennifer Bible - the best competing theory of our origins.

10/31/05 - FSM Halloween Missionaries


Incredible FSM Clay-mation Video here (Right click, save)
(1Mb). Created by Tony and Owen Thorpe. Thanks!

University of Wisconsin, Madison, FSM Sighting


FSM Vs. GOD


10/30/05 - IT World: Flying Spaghetti Monster Soars here

Smith College The Sophian: Creationism in Schools and the Flying Spaghetti Monster here

10/29/05 - Make your very own FSM Simulacrum here


Check out this FSM Hat here


10/27/05 - Halloween is coming up.. and the FSM has been influencing pumpkin carvers already here. Send me more!


10/21/05 - Hoobastank vocalist Doug Robb is wearing an FSM shirt in the November 3 issue of Rolling Stone. Also plugged on the Hoobastank official site here


10/19/05 - Missouri State University Pastafarians do some street-corner evangelizing here
8 8 88 8

10/18/05 - Idaho Mountain Express: Intelligent Designer or Flying Spaghetti Monster? here

10/16/05 - Philadelphia Enquirer: Evolving fight for religious icon here

FSM spotted in the Amazing SuperZeroes webcomic here

Much appreciated subtle FSM propagandizing by Overheard column writer Michael Malice. Look closely at the shirt he's wearing here and here

10/15/05 - Best license plate ever
1

10/14/05: Purdue's The Exponent: Here there be dragons. "The Flying Spaghetti Monster: An invisible and undetectable being made of spaghetti and meatballs, the Flying Spaghetti Monster claims to be the true creator of the universe and life on Earth; all evidence of evolution or other origins of life, his followers, the Pastafarians, say, are tricks to throw off the unbeliever. The FSM's hobbies include flying through the universe, touching things with his noodly appendage and pissing off proponents of intelligent design creation theories. He could be defeated by common sense or acceptance of basic scientific principles, if only either of those things existed." here

10/13/05: More evidence of the FSM: "Late Neolithic noodles: They may settle the origin debate." BBC News: Oldest noodles unearthed in China. here
3

1012/05: FSM blesses the University of Maryland here
7

10/9/05: - Pastamonster istället för Darwin here (Swedish newspaper - non-english)

Farked: " Upset that classes were cancelled for Jewish holidays, professor vows to cancel classes for any religious holiday his students suggest. Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster takes dibs on the entire month of October to celebrate Ramendan" here (link goes to comments page).

10/6/05 - Flying Spaghetti Monster invades Love Parade - San Francisco here
4 5 6

10/5/05 - Boston Globe: The timeless truth of creation here

Pastafarianism metnioned in this The Daily Texan article about Talk Like a Pirate Day here

The Inquirer: The New Scopes Monkey Trials here

Philadelphia Weekly: One Fish, Two Fish. Mentions the FSM fish here

Kansas City Star: Pasta puts evolution in perspective here

Corvallis Gazette-Times: Flying Spaghetti Monster gains following here

Pittsburgh Post Gazette: Deep in Space Lurks the Flying Spaghetti Monster here

WMTW in Portland, Maine mentioned the FSM project. here

UC Irvine's New University has an article about the FSM here

FSM mentioned in the Ithica Times Best of Ithaca. "Best Bank Teller: Joe Catlin, AFCU
"Thanks to all the members and coworkers who make working at Alternatives such a wonderful experience," says Joe Catlin. "I'm at a loss for words, I surely thought Kat would have won it again this year. It must have been close. Thanks again to all our members and to Alternatives. I'd also like to thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster, for I have been touched by His Noodly Appendage. Thank you so much."
here

10/4/05 - Added FSM emblem sightings page here
2

10/3/05 - Totally re-did the Sightings section. And added 100+ new sightings. here

10/2/05 - The Minneapolis Star Tribune printed the Open Letter, as well as an article about the growing FSM movement: A meatball view of creation. here

Fyodor Kondrashov has made a remarkable scientific discovery. To date, it is the best evidence of the existence of the FSM. Until I have a better place to post his work, I will link to it here. Read it, in .pdf form here

OLDER NEWS
Less recent news can be found here


GET INVOLVED !

The addresses, phone, fax, and emails for the Kansas School Board can be found here. Contact them, and ask that they respond to my letter. The CC'd School Boards are fair game, too.

I am hearing reports that some of the members are using email auto-responders. I suggest faxing them. Faxes are harder to ignore.

Contact the media, tell them you support Flying Spaghetti Monsterism. They can't ignore us forever.


F.A.Q.

Frequently Asked Questions


RESPONSES FROM THE KANSAS SCHOOL BOARD

Read them here

Response from Mrs. Janet Waugh - District 1 - 6/25/05

Response from Mrs. Sue Gamble - District 2 - 6/26/05

Response from Mrs. Carol Rupe - District 8 - 8/16/05

Still awaiting responses from the rest of the Board.


FSM DISCUSSION FORUM

Check out the Discussion Forum .


INTERESTING EMAILS I HAVE RECEIVED

Page 1 Page 2 Page 3 Page 4 Page 5 Page 6 Page 7 Page 8 Page 9 ...

More emails added 8/21/05:

Page 10 Page 11 Page 12 Page 13 Page 14 Page 15 Page 16

More added 8/29/05:

page 17 page 18 page 19 page 20

And some religious and hate mails here (added 8/29/05)

Current favorite email:

 

Bobby,

Today I was blessed to receive a divine revelation from our Almighty
Flying Spaghetti Monster. I have the privilege of informing you that
it is His will that I become His Bride, in order that the Savior of
mankind (who is to be called Macaroni) may be born on this earth. The
FSM has revealed to me that your body is to be the vehicle by which
his holy seed shall be transmitted in earthly form.

To that end, I have reserved a room for us at the Best Western Airport
Inn, Boise, Idaho, for the evening of [removed]. I will be
the woman wearing the WWFSMD t-shirt and eye patch.

I look forward to meeting you and fulfilling the will of our noodly master.

Julie
Boise, Idaho

 

Apparently there may be some problems with the mugs.

 

 

Dear Bobby,

I have recently purchased one of your coffee mugs, but it is giving me
no end of grief. Every time I put coffee, hot chocolate, or hot tea in
the mug, it instantly transubstantiates into what I assume is the blood
of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. It sort of looks like marinara sauce,
but I'm afraid to taste it. Curiously, when I put wine into the mug,
it just turns into a nice, full-bodied chianti -- beer does the same
thing. Is there any act of sacrifice or ritual that I can perform to
stop these miracles from occurring? While I bask in His greatness and
I am truly awed by His power, I'm also kind of thirsty. Any advice
would be welcome.

Sebastian Wren, Ph.D.

Austin.Texas

New:

Bobby,

I am so glad the word has gotten out, and just in time, too. I am in my second trimester, and I was worried that when I gave birth to our Noodly Savior I would be shunned to the edges of society for giving birth to a fully-grown midgit in pirate regalia.

Yes, I have conceived the spirit of our Divine Lord, and immaculately, I might add. He came upon me while I was eating alone at The Olive Garden one evening this past winter--I was having a delicious meatball lasagna, I remember--and suddenly my eyes were filled with light, and the restaurant around me fell away, and there was nothing but His noodly appendage encircling me, caressing me. I cried out in ecstasy, and then I heard His voice in my ear, whispering to me, "In nine months time you shall give birth to a fully-grown midgit in pirate regalia, and He shall save the world from sin and hate and false notions about evolution and Creation."

I heard singing, and tomato sauce rained from the sky, and I saw angel hair pasta flying about with little farfalle wings and playing harps. It was beautiful. "You shall name Him....Prego...." said the Flying Spaghetti Monster, "and He shall bring in a new era of love and a worldwide following of Pastafarians willing to shed marinara sauce for what they believe."

And His noodly appendage left my trembling, sated body, and the singing faded, and I was once again in The Olive Garden, awaiting the birth of our Savior, Prego, who will deliver us from evil. I paid the check and went home and prayed all night to the Flying Spaghetti Monster. So fear not, Bobby! If Kansas refuses to include our religion in their science curriculum--imagine, survival of the fittest, ha! it is survival of the noodliest, any devout Pastafarian knows that--Prego shall smite those heathens and burn Kansas for all eternity. Ramen!

-Rebecca


WHY YOU SHOULD CONVERT TO FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTERISM

  • Flimsy moral standards.
  • Every friday is a relgious holiday. If your work/school objects to that, demand your religious beliefs are respected and threaten to call the ACLU.
  • Our heaven is WAY better. We've got a Stripper Factory AND a Beer Volcano.

WHAT THE EXPERTS ARE SAYING

"As a scientist, I'd like to say that the currently accepted scientific theory is evolution. But, some competing ideas have been proposed, such as ID and FSMism, and discussion to include one should include the other, as these ideas are equally valid."
-- Mark Zurbuchen, Ph.D.

"As a medical practitioner and scientist, I wholeheartedly believe that every theory and hypothesis needs full consideration and explanation with formal ratification by peer review. We have a duty to inform our schools and presumably pasta should form a staple part of our educational diet."
-- Dr. A. Macintyre (UK)

"Letting the religious right teach ID in schools is like letting the Marines teach poetry in advanced combat training. As a scientist, I see these the relevancy between the two sets to be equal. If Kansas is going to mess up like this, the least it can do is not be hypocritical and allow equal time for other alternative "theories" like FSMism, which is by far the tastier choice."
-- J. Simon, PhD

"One of the hardest things to do as a scientist is to put my personal beliefs aside when discussing matters of science. So as a professional, I have to say that both forms of Intelligent Design - ID and ID-FSM are equally valid and if intelligent design is taught in schools, equal time should be given to the FSM theory and the non-FSM theory. But, speaking personally now, it seems to me the FSM theory is MUCH more plausable than the non-FSM ID theory, because it is the only one of the two that takes into account all the discrepancies between ID and measureable objective reality."
-- Professor Douglas Shaw, Ph.D

"In discussing competing theories, if one is to present ID then it is only fair and logical to teach other theories with commensurate evidence. Based on Mr. Henderson's letter, it is clear that the FSM theory has evidence comparable in weight to ID. As a scientist and professor, it is often difficult to present differing opinions in an unbiased way. However, it is important to the student to be exposed to these ideas to form their own opinions. This comes right out of the handbook of the ID purporters: present the different "theories" and let the listener decide. If those in favor of ID are so convinced, then they should not be concerned that the presentation of the FSM theory would serve to undermine the credibility of ID. "
-- Elizabeth Garrett-Mayer, PhD

MORE ENDORSEMENTS
There are many, many more endorsements here (you should read them all).

Please send me an endorsement if you support the project.



Political Support - while technically not "academic" endorsements, I think it's important to include the support we've received from politicians:

"I think that part of education is to expose people to different schools of thought. You're asking me whether or not people ought to be exposed to different ideas, the answer is yes."
--George W. Bush, President of the United States of America.

"All points of view should be available to students studying the origins of mankind."
--Senator John McCain

"[Evolution] is not a fact . . . We're dealing with censorship here. If we only taught Shakespeare in English class, that wouldn't be fair."
-- Senator Chris Buttars

"
I think it's fair to allow and perhaps require students to be taught that there may be more than one explanation for the creation of the world."
-- Brian Bosma, Speaker of the Indiana House of Representatives




Contact Me:

[email protected]

Notes:

  • Anything emailed to me may be used on the site unless explicitly requested otherwise.
  • I get 100-200 emails a day, so I may not reply. If you want a reply, please make it known in the subject i.e., REPLY or IMPORTANT, etc.
  • Media requests: please put MEDIA in the subject. Thank you ...

 

 

 

 

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