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Senator earmarks funds for Creationist group

Published September 24th, 2007 by Bobby Henderson

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According to this source, Senator David Vitter, R-La, earmarked $100k in a spending bill for a Lousiana Creationist group that has challenged the teaching of Darwinian Evolution in the public school system.

The bill specifies the payment is “to develop a plan to promote better science education.”

So, I’m wondering – shouldn’t the scientific community have a say in the creation theory that’s going to be introduced into the science curriculum?

The reason I bring this up is because the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster has a creation theory that also challenges Darwinian Evolution, and it is supported by more scientists than the one they’re planning to introduce. I guarantee it.

And we don’t need $100k. We’ll do it for free.

You can send Senator Vitter an email using this form.

Or call: (202) 224-4623
Or fax: (202) 228-5061

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Depoe Bay Treasure Hunt

Published September 22nd, 2007 by Bobby Henderson

[I received this email today about a treasure hunt in Depoe Bay (Oregon):]

Here’s a chance to spread the good word!

Here in Depoe Bay we’re doing our part in stopping global warming! Each year, pirates gather here in an effort to promote modern day pirattitude and help the earth … oh, yeah, AND to hunt for pirate treasure!

This year’s event is on Saturday, October 6th. We’d love to see a Pastafarian contingent in the big hunt. If you’d like to send a pirate team (or 2 … or 3 …), simply go to www.treasuredepoebay.com, fill out an entry form, and send it in!

Perhaps there’ll be a sighting of the Flying Spaghetti Monster here on the coast that day … ???

Piratically yours,

Madame Sarcasm
Chief High Mistress of All Treasure Hunt Clues

[It sounds very cool. I would like to note that had there been Pirate treasure hunts when I grew up in Oregon, I may never have left. If any Pastafarians make it out to the treasure hunt, please let me know how it was and send me pictures if possible. -bobby]

Click the picture to be taken to the Depoe Bay Treasure Hunt website.
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12354 Views
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Nebraska senator sues God

Published September 22nd, 2007 by Bobby Henderson

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Nebraska State Senator Ernie Chambers filed a lawsuit against God a few days ago, asking the court to order Him and His followers to stop making terrorist threats.

Chambers claims to be protesting frivolous lawsuits. Let me be the first Church Leader to call bullshit on that. I don’t believe it. If anything, he’s making the point that God doesn’t exist, or perhaps that if God does exist, he’s not involved in worldly events down here. A reasonable point to be made, but it’s concerning that Senator Chambers is spending his time on this, instead of working to end the war, fix the economy, or restore habeas corpus.

Also, I think it’s dumb to sue God directly. It would have made more sense to sue Church leaders or evangelists. Why is it that evangelists can ask for money and services for God, but they’re never asked to pay God’s debts?

Here’s an article talking about the lawsuit. link.

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‘create your own country’ essay

Published September 22nd, 2007 by Bobby Henderson

[Dwight wrote this essay for an assignment in which they were assigned to create their own country. It’s pretty good. I’d like to see it illustrated. A+ ]

The Hallow Kingdom of The Flying Spaghetti Monster (HKFSM) was formed from a large amount of underground volcanic activity underneath the Pacific Ocean at 45 degrees North, 150 degrees West, starting west of what used to be California and ending southwest of Mexico. Unfortunately, the intense volcanic activity caused California and Baja California to plunge into the ocean, destroying large amounts of property. Fortunately, the Californians had enough warning to pack up their things, sell their doomed houses, buy yachts, and sail to the newly formed volcanic land.

The first man to make landfall was a man named Bobby Henderson. Being the first man to make landfall, he instantly declared the land as The Hallow Republic of The Flying Spaghetti Monster. The HKFSM is a theocracy revolving around the Flying Spaghetti Monster. The religion of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM), also known as pastafarianism, is a monotheistic religion. Its prophets teach that five thousand years ago, the FSM created the universe, but He spent one hundred years painstakingly preparing the universe to appear much older than it really is. For hundreds of years afterwards, humans lived in ignorance of the FSM, then He chose to expose Himself to us. Twenty-five hundred years ago, He first revealed his Noodly Appendage to us, showing us the way. From this point on, those who accepted His message knew that we were to live a certain way-on the water in great wooden ships, loaded with grog, swag, and hopefully, wenches. This was His message. For years after this, the Pirates lived a life of peace and merriment, spreading His Word as far as places like Belgium. The pirates were eventually almost wiped out when they attempted to give candy to bloodthirsty Ninjas.

When the entire population of former Californians had landed, they were surprised to see that plants, trees, vegetation, an amusement park, two major cities with suburbs, and a village inhabited by midgets had sprouted from the ground in a week’s time. Bobby Henderson had been living in a hut on HKSFM that had appeared for him. He emerged and told the new inhabitants of HKSFM of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and of his new creation. The people heard and they Believed.

The Marine Subtropical climate creates lush forests of palm trees and picturesque views. Since HKFSM is an island, its temperature tends to be warm all year long. The pastafarians tend to have a rather cavalier attitude with their environment, if they clear a forest to make homes, they are required, by law, to plant two trees for every tree they cut down. Every summer, the people of HKFSM gather up all their accumulated technological trash (spare parts, old cell phones, etc…) and throw them into large garbage trucks which dispose of them properly.

The pastafarians on HKFSM are very strict about abiding to pirate attire, etc… At least 3 items of pirate attire are required to be worn at all times. On the religious holidays (Fridays), full pirate regalia is required. All the pastafarians on HKFSM consider themselves as seafaring pirates in some way. Most of the inhabitants use HKFSM as a home base after short fishing trips. The head of Government, Bobby Henderson, handles all matters of island security, tourism, etc… He is also the religious leader of the country. Food in HKFSM is world known. A group of pirates looted New Orleans and found some excellent Cajun chefs who wished to join the ranks of the proud citizens of HKFSM. Gorilla Soccer is a slightly modified game of soccer which is popular in HKFSM. It is played with the head of a gorilla, and uses all the rules of soccer; it is popular with the children.

Tourists love HKFSM, and travel annually to celebrate the joys of pastafarianism and pirates. Many tourists cast aside their old religion and embrace Pastafarianism after being touched by His Noodly Appendage. The amazing climate, picturesque scenes, and plentiful wenches make the island irresistible.

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I see the resemblance

Published September 22nd, 2007 by Bobby Henderson

Thanks to Christine for sending this picture. I do see a resemblance to the FSM.

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A poem

Published September 21st, 2007 by Bobby Henderson

Dustin Hu sent this today. I think it’s very good.

Below is a rough version of a poem about the Flying Spaghetti Monster that was written over the course of 4 periods of nothing to do at school.

Our Noodly Lord

High in the sky, unseen by the masses
Enlightening people as he silently passes
Extending an appendage that’s noodly in shape
He gives people wisdom, leaving them mouth agape.
Though nobody knows what his intentions may be,
One thing is certain; it’s easy to see:
His Noodliness is benevolent and wise
Dishing out knowledge as he flies through the skies.
The FSM is here to help
Floating around like a great ball of kelp
Though he can enlighten, go through walls, and fly
We must always ask ourselves why
He does the things that he does
For we are forever in his debt because,
Whether he’s friendly, helpful, or just bored
He will always love us, Our Noodly Lord.

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69 Comments

Talk Like a Pirate Day

Published September 19th, 2007 by Bobby Henderson

Wednesday, September 19th is Talk Like a Pirate Day. My guess is that a large percentage of Pastafarians will observe this holiday. For more information, I strongly suggest that you check out the website talklikeapirateday.com.

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giving back

Published September 8th, 2007 by Bobby Henderson

I was going through my books and I found a pile of textbooks from back when I was a physics student at Oregon State University. I decided to box them up and send them back as a donation. Addressed to the SPS room (sort of a study area for physics people), I sent a pile of books, FSM propaganda (car emblems, Holiday cards, the Gospel, etc..), along with this note:

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