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Climate Change is a Touchy Subject

Published March 30th, 2017 by Bobby Henderson

Trump’s Whitehouse is pushing its science officials to shut up about Climate Change, reports Politico:

A supervisor at the Energy Department’s international climate office told staff this week not to use the phrases “climate change,” “emissions reduction” or “Paris Agreement” in written memos, briefings or other written communication, sources have told POLITICO.

I’ve got mixed feelings about this since we Pastafarians are also skeptical about accepted causes of Climate Change. Years ago you’ll remember that we found a statistically significant relationship between the rise in average global temperature and the declining Pirate population.

I’ll note that even after 10 years, this data still has not been dis-proven by the science community, which we interpret as implicit acceptance of it’s Truth.

So we’re sympathetic to Team Trump’s misgivings of Established Science based on “evidence” and “peer-review” and so on.

But, we’re also fans of not needlessly destroying the planet. And while we may not agree with the causes of Climate change, we believe it is happening.

More, we Pastafarians are pragmatic. Even if you have some skepticism about Climate Change (perhaps all that data is being altered by a Supernatural being of some sort) — let’s maybe err on the side of reigning in pollution and old wasteful technologies with their excess CO2 production — and instead let’s support emerging technologies which can provide clean, renewable power. Not to mention jobs.

For this reason, I think Team Trump and the GOP are acting like tools.

Again, I hate to mention politics on our Church site, but I felt that we Pastafarians, as fellow science-skeptics, should say something.

What do you guys think?



134 Responses to “Climate Change is a Touchy Subject”

  1. Rasputin says:

    Hey Keith, it’s nice to read your comment about coconuts. I can never find any because of the absence of swallows and twine.

    • Keith says:

      European or African? (Listens for AAAAAAAAAAAGH! sound.)

  2. Bob says:

    I’m all for less pollution. So don’t draw the wrong conclusions from what I’m about to point out.

    Ever wonder why those on the global warming bandwagon only show the temps from the period of 1800 to present? Thermometers have been around a lot longer than that. Thanks to arctic ice cores, we can calculate temps back thousands of years.

    I’ll give you a hint: if you look back further, it’s plain to see that global warming is complete and utter BS. You’re only shows temps for the last two centuries because it’s the only period that supports this theory.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Little_Ice_Age#/media/File:2000_Year_Temperature_Comparison.png

    • Apprentice Frederic says:

      Bob, As an abject non-expert, I want to be courteous about a counter-shout of “BS”, but I think there’s maybe some confusion about what you say about what’s known. I think that *direct* measurements of temperature don’t go back far, just as you say. The polar ice measurements go back some few *hundreds of thousands* of years, though, and show *CO2* levels that cycle several times between a high of about 300 ppm and a little below 200 ppm. Glacier extent and temperatures have cycled, presumably, with CO2 – I’m pretty sure global-warming bandwagoneers do believe in Ice Ages, and need not writhe under the lash of your sarcasm. The point is that CO2 levels are now moving rapidly and substantially above the half-million year historic max of 300 ppm, and global temperature with them. Yaarrrggghhh. R’Amen

      • Bob says:

        As the old graph of pirates v temps shows, correlation does not equate to causality.
        While there is a correlation between CO2 levels and temps, claiming CO2 affects the temps is an assumption. Wait, hold on a minute before you get all upset- let me finish.
        Yes, there is a correlation. High CO2 levels and high average temps seem to go hand-in-hand, as do low CO2 levels and low temps. Ok, I think that part most of us will agree on. At least it’s not the part I’m expecting people to disagree with me about. That’s coming up later.
        There’s also a direct relationship between average earth temps and Mailankovitch cycles. The Earth isn’t a fixed distance from the sun, it’s sometimes closer and sometimes farther away. That’s what the Milankovitch cycles are about.
        Except during periods of exceptionally high volcanic activity, the #1 source of CO2 is from biodecay. Mankind may be trying to pull into first place, but we’re not there yet. Those microorganisms are still in the lead. They also happen to be very greatly affected by temperatures. Not to be too much of an ass, but that’s how refrigeration works in keeping food edible.
        So…
        Theory #1:
        When the Earth moves away from the Raging Thermonuclear Reaction In the Sky called the Sun, it cools.
        When the Earth cools, microorganisms go dormant.
        When microorganisms go dormant, they produce less CO2.

        Theory #2:
        When atmospheric CO2 levels drop, the Earth cools and this makes it change orbit to move away from the sun.

        I go with Theory #1. Unfortunately, it doesn’t get you media attention and research grants. If you want those things, you have to go with Theory #2 even if it makes no logical sense.

        Again, I’m all for less pollution. I’ll support that. Renewable energy- sounds good to me. Really, these fossil fuels are in finite supply. We can’t rely on them forever. They will run out. So yeah, let’s start moving away from them before it gets to that point.
        But if you say we need to get away from them to prevent global warming, I’ll laugh at you.

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          I suspect the dominant factor in this issue is the hegemonic Bush quote: “The American way of life is not negotiable”. Boo hoo, so sad, it’s the factor that has to change and it scares them. Anyone know how much oil the American war machine consumes?
          The fundamentalist influence at Federal level is obscene: “Might as well use up the oil and cut down the forests, because the End is Nigh and it will all be wasted”. The Rupture mob even long for nuclear war, believing it is god-sent.

        • Apprentice Frederic says:

          Your laughter is propagating through somewhat warmer, somewhat more CO2-laden air than the Malankovich model seems to predict, whether CO2 is a mere correlate of temperature or actually active in the cycle. I tend to go with “Theory” #3, which is that actual climate scientists can probably clear up the discrepancies that you are ignoring. I am happy to see them driving Maseratis as part of their payoff for doing that; a little more CO2 won’t matter in Theory #1, and probably won’t be an important impact in Theory #3.

        • Daniel William Smith says:

          I have never heard of a Mailankovitch cycle before but I would believe the Earth’s orbit is goofy. I will do some Googling. It seems more likely to have a goofy orbit controlling climate, than the converse.

        • Apprentice Frederic says:

          Daniel, As said earlier, I am a non-expert and find the explanations of Malankovich cycles unclear in some aspects, in particular, the coupling between CO2 levels and temperature levels. They are certainly correlated, but the climate-science community seems convinced that there is a causal, physical connection as well, that is driving present departures from the many known historic cycles In short: goofy Presidents, goofy cabinet members, and goofy polluters are critically involved, besides goofy orbits.

  3. Gnocchi Saint Pudding says:

    Dear Captain Birdseye, Aaaarrrrgggghhhh! Thanks for those vivid descriptions and fascinating facts regarding your first-hand experiences of awe-inspiring cyclone activity.
    All I can say is: Holy Canolli and… Sheesh!
    and glory be to FSM who is sheltering you safely under its loving, canoodling appendages.

    • Captain Birdseye says:

      St.G., in the dry season, for the beautiful white sand, I like to camp next to Skippy in the near-dry river beds. Up in the tree tops, some 30 feet above the current trickle, are clumps of dry grass. One might wonder how it could possibly get up there, but, that’s the water level of the previous year’s monsoon.

  4. Rasputin says:

    Trump needs to appoint some Pastafarians as his religious advisers. That’ll show the public he’s sane.

    • Apprentice Frederic says:

      (Makes beebleberries with forefinger and lips….)

    • Fat Bastard says:

      “Make America Grate Again”.
      #fatbastardforpresidentialadvisor

      • Rasputin says:

        Grate idea, FB!

  5. Captain Birdseye says:

    If floods are a component of climate, then, the current Australian floods have been greatly exacerbated by human intervention and would qualify as man-made climate change.
    The biggest complaint from people whose houses have been destroyed is the management of dams. When a huge dam’s capacity reached 120%, and water was 20 feet over the spill-way, the operators opened the flood-gates, dumping vast amounts of water onto down-stream towns, bursting the levees. The class-action complaint is that the dam’s operators had two days notice of the imminent deluge and should have emptied the dam before-hand, in a controlled manner, over those two days, rather than dumping it at the worst possible moment.
    The dam’s operators claim that a best-practice computer program did it, thus, they are not responsible. They could have over-ridden the computer.

    • Rasputin says:

      That’s how lawyers get rich. Whether they win or lose the case, the lawyers always get paid.

      • Captain Birdseye says:

        Australian lawyers are allowed to use the practices, illegal in Britain, of both heavy TV advertising and working pro bono. Win and they take half of the money; lose and they get nothing. It means they choose their cases not based on justice but profit. Of course, not all of them are sharks.

  6. Daniel William Smith says:

    From the information you provided it would look as if the rain would still have come down regardless of whether the spillway gates were open or closed. At either stage the waterflow would have been the same. If opened earlier the flow would have slightly less head but if opened later there was a possibility of no surge at all. In such instances it is best to assume that the noodly one will provide an answer, if he or she does not we must rely only on logic and chance.

    • Captain Birdseye says:

      Daniel, of course the rain would have come down regardless, and, the same quantity; the point was whether floods are part of ‘climate’, and, whether human intervention (dam building) can increase natural flood levels. Rivers can cope with a certain flow, but, if water is delivered all-at-once, they cannot. Think of a major dam bursting, when, for hundreds of years, down-stream towns have had no problems. The total quantity is the same, but, never all at once.

  7. Michael C. Jr. says:

    Bob, I have noticed a small issue with the graph. The x axis, commonly used to measure time, is grossly inaccurate. I recommend instead of having a single line to measure all three variables, to use two lines, one to measure the amount of pirates (in thousands) and another to measure the global average temperature, thus making the graph easier to read.
    Thank you if this update is possible,
    Michael C. Jr.

    • Patroller says:

      Disabled toilet.

      • Mr. Hankey says:

        Who loves ya, shit bag?

      • Michael C. Jr. says:

        Patroller,
        What exactly are you implying is a disabled toilet?

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          Michael, Trollope is a narcissistic psychopath who believes it is her important Mission in Life to patrol the Internet, seeking out anything she doesn’t agree with and attempting to disrupt it by offending people: an attention whore. We suspect she is an alcoholic fundamentalist, devoid of all social skills. She may well disrupt little girls’ chat rooms, but, here she is regarded as a pathetic idiot.

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          Michael, we think Trollope is asking to be led to the toilet, but, no one is game to help her. Don’t bother trying to communicate, it’s pointless.

        • Patroller says:

          Michael, I’m not engaging with you any further.

          Birdseye, I’m an agnostic and I don’t drink alcohol. Wrong Wrong Wrong – as usual.
          Disabled toilet.

        • Michael C. Jr. says:

          Patroller,
          I was only asking why you said “Disabled Toilet,” and it appears you are admitting to being “narcissistic psychopath who believes it is her important Mission in Life to patrol the Internet, seeking out anything she doesn’t agree with and attempting to disrupt it by offending people: an attention whore” As well as being “devoid of all social skills” and a “pathetic idiot.”.

        • Patroller says:

          Michael, I will engage with your inferior intellect for now. Disabled toilet is a profound insult to all idiotic followers of the FSM. It requires no further explanation. I do not need to respond to the rest of your points. You need to form your own opinion, based on independent thought, not on the pathetic posts of the other members of this swamp.

          Disabled toilet.

        • Keith says:

          Michael, just ignore the little idiot. It constantly appears, posts insults and absurd statements, promises to leave and then returns. It is a deluded lying little toe rag that is desperate for attention.

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          Michael, you’ve got it: Trollope simply insults herself. It’s sad to discover there are damaged people who behave this way, but, you will come across them in life, in this case hiding behind a keyboard, rather than lurching at you out of the shadows. They’re the ones with black eyes, no friends, no job, no partner, yet, smile and believe they’re not a total looser. I suspect this one is a pervert flasher; an attention-whore; it’s the same dynamic.

        • Michael C. Jr. says:

          Patroller/Trollpe,
          I was not making an opinion, I was simply pointing out the fact that you only dismissed two of the many seemingly correct insults written by Captain Birdseye. I have formed my own opinion, that is the reason for my original comment above, in which you were the first to reply, typing “Disabled Toilet.” I do not wish to start a flame war but I believe that is something you have done. Please stop insulting others for having an “inferior intellect” to your intensely inflated ego. If there is something on this sit you do not agree with personally, back up your counter statement with facts, instead of referring to the people who made the original statement and shit-posting on them.

          Thank you for your *useful* opinion and please never comment on this site again,
          -Michael C. Jr.

        • Patroller says:

          Michael, are you ready?

          Disabled toilet.

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          Michael, there is simply no point in attempting to comunicate with Trollope: she’s a fundamentalist addict, complete with total denial. Think of her as a biological specimen being displayed to a class of students, where, the professor prods and points out its mechanical responses. In the old days, this specimen would be labelled a ‘moral imbecile’, meaning, incapable of comprehending that Manners Maketh Man.
          My interest in psychopaths is purely statistical, particularly, categorising their reasoning (it’s other people’s fault; or, they asked for it; or, they deserve it, etc.) Remember, only one in twenty-thousand psychopaths is a mass-murderer, the rest are exactly like Trollope: a waste of time and space. A trollope is a prostitute, because, Trollope is an attention-whore.
          Just curious, are you exposed to similar people? Are any of your family this way? Or, religious fundamentalists? Take no notice of Trollope, the rest of us are supportive and sound.

        • Patroller says:

          Note the risible claims of intellectual superiority from the Captain. What an idiot.

          Disabled toilet.

        • Mr. Hankey says:

          *** DO NOT FEED THE TROLL ***

        • Fat Bastard says:

          Hey, the psychopath is back. Surely, she can’t be a liar? Who loves ya, shit bag?

        • Patroller says:

          Mr Spankey posts as several idiots on this swamp, including Bastard.
          The shit will soon hit the fan on this backwater.

          Disabled toilet.

    • Rasputin says:

      Agreed, Michael, otherwise atheists and Christians might regard the graph as unscientific or not authentic.

      • Keith says:

        There are other graph styles to choose from which will make the information look more impressive.

        • Michael C. Jr. says:

          Keith,
          If you have notice for time, the scale jumps back and forth from 40 to 20 years, and the number of pirates goes up by 10,000 and goes down by 25,000
          Michael C. Jr.

        • Keith says:

          Well, maths, science, history and geography were never my strong points.

      • Captain Birdseye says:

        Scientific conclusions must comply with the established religious principle that correlation proves causation.

  8. Captain Birdseye says:

    Michael, that’s because pirates aren’t very good at statistics, having borrowed style, method and reporting from Creation Scientists. As mentioned, correlation equals causation, and thus, results must be adjusted to fit the hypothesis. If you want the raw data, look at Google Charts for Piracy and Global Warming.

    • Michael C. Jr. says:

      Captain Birdseye,
      You have an excellent point, but if you were to have the graph the way suggested, many people other than pirates will be able to understand the graph more clearly, thus allowing it to be more accepted by scientists and non-believers.

      • Captain Birdseye says:

        Michael, we are inviting people to examine the quality of ‘science’ produced by Creationists, whose style and methodology we use. When, as you do, they are able to critique our methodology, they are equipped to critique so-called Creation Science.
        Some people claim that we are being satirical, however, this is heresy. :)
        Millions, if not hundreds of Nobel Prize winners already endorse our evidence. Those who don’t are a tiny minority. We do not need further competant converts.

        • Rasputin says:

          If Pastafarians find fault with the graph, they haven’t drunk enough beer.

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          Yeah, the graph looks sound to me…. hic. Anyway, it must be correct, it’s from The Gospel.

        • Michael C. Jr. says:

          I apologize for not drinking enough beer, I am not of age yet so I see many faults with the scale of the graph. I do believe however that the reason that no scientist has acknowledged the graph is because of this faulty scaling.

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          Michael, as I have already mentioned, many Nobel Prize-winning scientists have not only acknowledged the evidence (true), but, submitted their own complex calculations in support. Refer to the Appendix of The Gospel According to The FSM. Are you suggesting that there is some type of cons-piracy to fudge the data?

        • Michael C. Jr. says:

          It is possible Captain Birdseye.

          It could also be the FSM adjusting the graph with his noodly appendage in order to make it seem like his existance is not credible.

        • Michael C. Jr. says:

          …as well as the data shown in the graph.

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