Trump Monument

Published February 28th, 2017 by Bobby Henderson

Hey everyone — as much as I feel it’s important to keep political views away from our church website, I also recognize that America is incredibly divided at the moment. And I had an idea I hope may heal our nation in some small way.

Specifically this is about Trump’s border wall. I am proposing an alternative project that may satisfy the Left – who are worried about fiscal responsibility, and the Right – who are less interested in factual arguments and more concerned about the message we’re sending to the world. And most of all I hope that this project appeals to President Trump’s aesthetic tastes and his love of grand construction projects.


Letter to President Trump

President Trump: you should build a monument instead of a border wall.

I won’t make the usual arguments against the wall — that border apprehensions are at a 40-year low; that immigrants are not a leading (or growing) cause of crime; that it is technology, not immigrants, taking American jobs. There are countless studies that conclude a border wall will be tremendously expensive and ineffective at its goals.

But I’m sure you understand this.

The wall clearly is about symbolism, about the message it sends to the world. And about you, and what your presidency represents. Here is a wall, you people stay on your side – America is full. The wall is about drawing a line, about Real American values, about American toughness.

But can I suggest to you that your followers may not entirely understand this message? That they may not be attuned to subtle ideas like symbolism? They may be irked after you spend $15 Billion of our tax dollars on a wall that does not improve American lives in any meaningful way, no matter the message it sends.

Let me next appeal to your sense of aesthetics. You’ve spent your life building magnificent buildings, beautiful golf courses, resorts and so on. The Wall will be ugly and plain, the money must be spread across too many hundreds of miles to be spectacular in any given spot. No one will want to come to look at it, no one will be impressed with it’s grandeur. Do you want that to be your legacy?

So I propose you announce a different project — a grand, glittering monument — one that promotes the idea of American Toughness, and which – I think economists will back me up – is a better use of our tax dollars.

Rather than describe the monument in words, I’ve commissioned an architectural concept drawing of the monument:


You’ll notice they’re gold. I did the math* and for a set of testicles roughly 30 feet tall, you can safely budget $10 Billion to gold plate the balls at a thickness of over an inch and still come out under what your border wall is estimated to cost.

And unlike a wall, here you’ll have a monument that people can come and admire in all its glory. Here is the literal symbol of virility and masculine toughness and all things alpha-male. Your followers are unlikely to miss the message.

Plus, this monument is a safe investment — if things don’t work out, the gold can be reclaimed. Unlike a border wall, the money spent gold plating a massive set of testicles is not a wasteful use of taxpayer money.

Thank you for your time. Please let me know if I can help with more details and so on (I have some ideas on replacing Obamacare also).

-Bobby Henderson, Concerned citizen and taxpayer


* The math:

A set of balls 10 meters tall has a volume of approximately 697 cubic meters, with a surface area approximately 412 square meters.

At the current spot price of gold at $1256 per Ounce, $10 Billion will purchase 247,635 Kilograms of gold.

With a density of 19320 kilograms per cubic meter, that pile of gold has a volume of approximately 12.81 cubic meters.

That volume, divided by surface area of 412 square meters gives us a gold plating depth of approximately 3.1 CM or 1.2″.

Concept drawing by my artist friend Avelino

104 Responses to “Trump Monument”

1 5 6 7
  1. Rasputin says:

    Providing they don’t put a wall across Kekistan, there won’t be a problem. If you’re unfamiliar with Kekistan, consult Google and YouTube.

  2. younger1984 says:

    I do not agree. Look at
    – Bula

  3. Freddie says:

    Skype has opened up its web-structured client beta towards
    the world, soon after establishing it broadly from the United states and U.K.
    earlier this 30 days. Skype for Website also
    now supports Chromebook and Linux for instant online messaging communication (no video and voice yet,
    those call for a connect-in set up).

    The increase in the beta adds assistance for an extended selection of languages to help bolster that worldwide user friendliness

  4. Patricia says:

    Skype has opened up its internet-structured buyer beta on the entire world, soon after establishing it
    extensively inside the U.S. and U.K. previously this four weeks.
    Skype for Internet also now can handle Chromebook and Linux for instant online messaging connection (no video and voice nevertheless, these demand a plug-in installment).

    The expansion from the beta provides assist for a longer set of languages
    to aid strengthen that international usability

  5. LOAN says:



    We offer flexible loans and funding for various projects.This loan allows client to enjoy payback for as low as % interest We can approve a loan/cash for up to USD 500,000,000.00 or more depending on the amount you want for your business. We are currently funding for: *Business Expansion * Commercial Real Estate project * Personal loan and business loan are open to having a good business relationship with you, please do not hesitate to contact us:

    WEBSITE: http://www.indbullsfin.com/index.pyc
    [email protected]
    Contact us on whatspp +447513195409
    Mr Osman Ibrahim

  6. Sean C says:

    As a very right leaning Pastafarian who believes strongly in individual rights and critical thinking, I take issue with your generalized classification of “the right” as those “who are less interested in factual arguments”. What facts do you base this assertion on?

    May you be touched by his noodly appendage.

  7. Mr Roland Fredrick​ says:

    Hello everyone,

    I am a private loan lender from Russia Federation, reliable, reliable lender; I lend to businesses and individuals to all part of the world at a low and affordable interest rate of 2%. If you were refused a loan by a bank financial institution for one or more reasons, or Are you financially squeezed looking for a business loan, personal loan, mortgage loan, car loan, student loan, debt consolidation loan, unsecured loan and venture capital ?
    You are in the right place for your loan Solutions If you are interested in
    the loan offer, please contact us in Russia Federation by email: ([email protected])
    Best Regards,

    Mr Roland Fredrick

    • Captain Birdseye says:

      Fuck off, Roland!

    • Snow says:

      Isn’t this the guy that gave the president all that money to buy the office of POTUS for Russia?

      • Captain Birdseye says:

        Actually, Snow, ‘Roland’ is one of Trump’s tweets.

  8. jun says:


    Are you in any financial problem and you want a loan kindly contact us via Email: [email protected]


1 5 6 7

Leave a Reply