Struggle for Religious Expression in Illinois

Published July 25th, 2016 by Bobby Henderson


The struggle for Pastafarian acceptance continues, in Illinois. From the Chicago Tribue:

College student Rachel Hoover, of Arlington Heights, went to get her license renewed at the Illinois Secretary of State facility in Schaumburg. She told employees that she wanted to wear a metal colander on her head for the photo in honor of her religious beliefs. Employees balked, but Hoover insisted.

But when the central office discovered that employees had relented and allowed Hoover to be photographed with the strainer on her head, administrators drew the line, even though her face was clearly visible.

They told Hoover her license will be revoked July 29 unless she gets a new, strainer-free photo taken.

State officials are “just trying to use a little common sense,” secretary of state spokesman Dave Druker told Tribune freelance reporter Lee V. Gaines. “It almost looks like Pastafarians are a mockery of religion.”

During a time when people are doing reprehensible things in the Name of Religion, I wonder why officials are hassling us, out of all religious groups. Do these officials prevent people from wearing Yamulkes or Hijabs or Turbans — and if not, is it because they appear to have such earnest beliefs, and Pastafarians do not take themselves so seriously?

If Pastafarians had more scary dogmatic True-Believers, would we encounter less resistance to the privileges other religious groups are granted?

While I don’t agree with the Chicago Tribune’s stance that FSM is a “broad spoof”, I found the article well written and clever — it’s worth the read and can be found here.

411 Responses to “Struggle for Religious Expression in Illinois”

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  1. Rasputin says:

    Hey Alphy, welcome back! Your words justify the existence of this church.

  2. Gnocchi Saint Pudding says:

    Dear Alphy, I’m thrilled you are back! I have missed your posts. Once, I read one of your posts to my husband, and we rolled about laughing. You were livid, – –furious at some palooka poster and you gave him an hilarious WhatFor in no uncertain terms. How we laughed. Husband keeps asking me, from time to time: “Did that funny guy Alphy ever come back to church?”
    Welcome back Alphy!

    • Captain Birdseye says:

      Which particular husband is that, St. G.?

  3. Gnocchi Saint Pudding says:

    Dear Captain Birdseye, I keep a Zulu one up country when I go visit my relatives in the rural “homelands.” He looks after my kale and garlic plantations. My Scotch/Scots/Sckottish Aberdeen Angus husband is also a very handy one. I keep for him for city purposes.

    • Gnocchi Saint Pudding says:

      (… the husband Angus Cohen, is the one I mentioned to Alphy.)

    • Captain Birdseye says:

      What bride-price did ‘Angus’ accept from the Zulu? 500 pigs? More?

  4. ATSAP REVOL says:

    Thank you Captain Birdseye and Rasputin for remembering my past Battles with the Forces of Evil. I’m now 84 years old and still a loyal Ordained Pastafarian Pastor. May you both be touched by His Noodley Appendages.


    • Rasputin says:

      Thanks, Atsap.

  5. Gnocchi Saint Pudding says:

    It must be the overwhelming non-quality of their lives that spur these troll-like people to post inane drivel/ indecipherable sentences/claptrap/disjointed phrases/worn-out depletives/insane threats/toilet humour.

    Their dedicated non-stop, general run-of-the-mill abusive, aggressive hissing and spitting at us is mind-boggling to a normal person.

    These abnormal, dysfunctional troll people seem to waste an inordinate amount of time – must take hours off their lives- and yet they engage in total negative unproductive effort on a daily basis.

    Do they have any time to lead normal lives? I mean, do they have real jobs, families, friends, hobbies, interests other than hours of sitting on the internet spouting absolute unadulterated crap? Are they brain-damaged, brain-dead?

    What has made them so malicious? How miserable one’s life must be in order to be such a person?

    And all that it would take to change such a useless, unhappy life would be to make a decision.

    A decision to sit down and tackle the problem. To find help from psychiatry and then work forward so you can spend at least a few productive, happy, normal years ahead before you kick the bucket one day!

    May our Blessed Lord The Flying Spaghetti Monster Be Very Happy To See us take our very own quality-decisions in order to better control our precious lives. Yarrggh.

    • Captain Birdseye says:

      St.G., unless and until someone complains, such as they have no job, friends or partner, are in jail etc, and, wish that things were different, they do not have a problem. Often, their complaint is not what you would hope for. For example, the existence of police may be a flasher’s only problem. (Wikipedia, Cognitive Dissonance, for a good read on mental gymnastics)

      The Internet still has to catch up on its policing laws. Many countries use the same laws that apply to their phone system: pests, scammers and spammers get a knock on the door.

    • Patroller says:

      Disabled toilet.

      • Captain Birdseye says:


        • Pastadamus says:

          Can I? Just this once? PLEEEEEASE?

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          Oh… go on then. Just a morsel. She tap-dances as well.

      • Pastadamus says:

        You a funny little man, you are.

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          Actually, rather tall.

  6. Rasputin says:

    There’s been fuss in the Church of England this week about the marrying of gays in churches. One section of the Church said, “Let’s do it”. Another said, “Nah, eff off”.
    I think the Church’s refusal to marry gays is correct. The Abrahamic god of the Buybull is a bigot. In the words of a Monty Python sketch, “God’s like that. He hates poofs”.
    Bigots and faggots: Churches are full of them, but they didn’t used to acknowledge each other’s presence.
    The Church is a club. If you join a club, you have to accept its rules. Otherwise it’s like a meat-eater joining the Vegetarian Society.
    Similarly, you’re not a Pastafarian if you believe in Jebus.
    If gays don’t like the C of E’s decision, they should join a different church. Leave the Church of England to bigots.

    • Pastadamus says:

      I am a devoted pastafarian, and I believe in Jebus. I have recently come across a photo of bebbe Jebus in the noodles of our Creator. Here is the photo. http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/flyingspaghettimonster/images/8/8d/His_holyness.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20120713003712 I also believe in the Papua New Guinea mud god, Pikkiwokki, as he is promising a pig and as many coconuts as you can carry.

      • Pastadamus says:

        I did not put all those spaces in on purpose.

      • Gnocchi Saint Pudding says:

        Dear Pastadamus, Oh, I simply MUST have a mud god Pikkiwokki too! I’d love to have a piggy and go-gonuts but does this religion charge you extra for plastic carrier bags to put the go-gonuts in? If so, count me out. FSM charges nothing at all.

        • Pastadamus says:

          Dear St. G., unfortunately, you do not receive any bags. However, if you ask specifically, you can get a little cart to affix to the piggy that will enable you to carry up to 3 times as many as normal. You also receive a badass hat of your choice for the go-gonut-toting piggy to wear.

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          Pikkiwokki would be very useful when mud-wrestling, St. G.

  7. Gnocchi Saint Pudding says:

    Dear Pastadamus, What kind of a loving god is that god that he doesn’t give his people free gogonut bags, eh?

    Anyhow, tell me: Can the pigs Pikkiwikki gives, fly? Only when pigs fly would I worship anyone else but The Flying Spaghetti Monster.

    • Pastadamus says:

      On occasion, although they really just hover.

      • Rasputin says:

        Dear Pastadamus, please come here more often. Share your insightful visions with us.

  8. Marie says:

    As a Catholic I have to say this is horrible and must be stopped RIGHT NOW.

    Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof. The government has no right to decide what you may or may not express your beliefs as long as no one is harmed. We can see Rachel’s face and hair just fine, I see no reason for them to harass the person. Maybe if the hair was not seen, they would need the strainer tipped a bit, but still. I’ll be offering moral support.

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