Cashed Wednesday

Published February 11th, 2016 by Bobby Henderson


Hello Bobby,
My name is Paul. I’m a practicing minister and proud of it. Recently a few of my disciples and I received a revelation for a new holiday, and we just finished celebrating it successfully. The holiday happens to coincide with the traditional catholic holiday of Ash Wednesday, however the FSM revealed to me through my friend Harprett the true name of the day: Cashed Wednesday. My followers and I proceeded to indeed Cash a few packs of bud, being “of age in an area of the world where it is legal to do so.” I found it prudent to inform you of this revelation.
May you be Touched,
Paul Redling

Maybe he’s on to something?

73 Responses to “Cashed Wednesday”

  1. Cap'n Grey Beard says:

    Bobby, minecraft? Really?

    Didn’t the word assasin come from cannabis also? I think it was something like hashish hine meaning cannabis eaters.

    However when stoned i have never felt like hurting anyone. I would be much more likely to stealthily sneak into their bedchamber and give them a hug.

  2. Webster Kehr says:

    Have any of you ever heard of DNA? How would you like to sit in jail until you could create and sequence the DNA for a Woolly Mammoth and have a male and female Woolly Mammoth alive and well in a zoo??

    Sorry, evolution is the fairy tale.

    In fact, God predicted the theory of evolution 29 years BEFORE Darwin’s first book:

    God will not be mocked.

    Webster Kehr

    • Apprentice Frederic says:

      Webster your argument is eloquent but not fact-based in a way that we are going to be able to ever agree the facts that science deals with are not the gospel truth that you are comfortable pushing. They are rather tentative but effective as We Know in curing disease letting us communicate around the globe exploring the universe and uncoveromg mathematical truth. I personally I’m happier with the latter. Joseph Smith’s Book of Mormon doesn’t as far as I know contain a prediction for how cancer will be cured please let me know if I’m wrong

    • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

      The Book of Mormon also had a lot of fairy tales of animals in North America between the years 0 and 1500 A.D. which just aren’t so (camels, horses, sheep, etc.) so why believe anything else in it? Joseph Smith was a charlatan whose own wife mocked him.

    • Captain Birdseye says:

      False analogy! Which god? The Christian god is apparantly omniscient, which would mean that he always knew about Evolution.

    • Rasputin says:

      Hey Webster, if your god doesn’t want to be mocked, it shouldn’t expect humans to believe the crap in the Buybull. So much of it is stupid stupid stupid that it deserves mockery. And what’s your invisible sky friend going to do about it anyway? NOTHING! Because your god doesn’t exist!

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  5. Excelsior says:

    Dear Few/Proud/Marina,
    When you say “John Smith’s wife mocked him” you should tell us WHICH wife. You know, of course, that John Smith had 40 wives, most of them in their teens. His purpose in establishing the Mormon church was to create a Harem for his sexual pleasure. Whenever he a saw a girl he wanted to lay, he would approach her parents and say that they will have trouble getting into Heaven unless they offer him their daughter for a wife and then the whole family can go to Heaven without any trouble!
    All religions are like that. Pedophile Mohammed had at least 16 full time wives. The youngest one was Aisha, and he was 50 and she was only 6 years old!
    Mary wasn’t the only virgin that God laid. Every time Moses conquored a tribe he took all the young virgins for sex slaves, and never forgot to give God his share of the spoils. Don’t think that Jesus was God’s only son. He had hundreds of them called “Nephilim”. These are sour cherries you can find in the Bible that Fundies never pick!

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