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Cashed Wednesday

Published February 11th, 2016 by Bobby Henderson

ash

Hello Bobby,
My name is Paul. Iโ€™m a practicing minister and proud of it. Recently a few of my disciples and I received a revelation for a new holiday, and we just finished celebrating it successfully. The holiday happens to coincide with the traditional catholic holiday of Ash Wednesday, however the FSM revealed to me through my friend Harprett the true name of the day: Cashed Wednesday. My followers and I proceeded to indeed Cash a few packs of bud, being โ€œof age in an area of the world where it is legal to do so.” I found it prudent to inform you of this revelation.
May you be Touched,
Paul Redling
Minister

Maybe he’s on to something?



55 Responses to “Cashed Wednesday”

  1. Captain Birdseye says:

    Keith, there is a lot to say about old methods of brewing. While brews are active, only a bucket and cloth are needed, but, I move mine to 2L glass bottles after the first racking. I think the toast introduces some elements that yeast likes and are missing in some brews.
    I live in the Tropics and it would be disastrous to brew anything at 40C. I think that’s what’s been done when Indian weddings kill half their guests with a home-brew. 18C is normal, but, sake and lager yeasts must brew at about 4C.

    • Keith says:

      Cap’n: I see your point. It has been about 20 years since I last brewed anything, so I can’t remember what time of the year I started (that was the nettle beer). Nor can I remember what time of the year my mother brewed her last batch. It probably wasn’t in Summer.

  2. Pastamancer says:

    Wow this has turned into a cooking website XD

    • Keith says:

      Yes, you’ll find a variety of useful and useless subjects discussed on this website.

    • Master Bates says:

      Pastamancer… any useful spells to conjure up something tasty?

  3. I HATE THE FSM says:

    This is mean to Christians! Ash Wednesday is a CHRISTIAN holiday and a very sacred one! You guys shouldn’t be doing this to people!!

    • SillyKiwiMan says:

      Why not?

    • Master Bates says:

      HATE…. Christmas, Easter and most Christian events, highjacked other’s sacred festivals. You shouldn’t be doing this to people!

      • Captain Hook says:

        RAMEN brother.

      • Captain Birdseye says:

        HATE… Hash Wednesday is a sacred Rastafarian holiday that pre-dates Christianity. It was clearly stolen from them.

        • Fred Phelps OBE, KFC says:

          HATE…. oh, how I love that Godly word – don’t forget that Rastafarian blasphemers think that Jesus was a BLACK MAN! Will you help God save them and picket Jamaica with me? What about: ‘Thank God For Dead Rastas’? Good, eh?

        • Fred Phelps OBE, KFC says:

          For those who may be interested, there is indeed a KFC in Hell and I have an honorary position in the fryer. OBE stands for Ordered-Out of the British Empire, a title that I cherish.

        • Master Bates says:

          What?…. If Jesus was a black man, that means that God and the Holy Ghost must also be black… right?

        • Keith says:

          Cannabis has been used in religious ceremonies for thousands of years. According to this article
          https://patients4medicalmarijuana.wordpress.com/marijuana-info/marijuana-in-the-bible/
          it is used as an ingredient for an anointing oil. I take this claim (not the cannabis) with a pinch of salt, as my KJB says “calamus” which is a sort of reed. According to this article
          http://www.webmd.com/vitamins-supplements/ingredientmono-778-calamus.aspx?activeingredientid=778&activeingredientname=calamus
          calamus can be used as an hallucinogen. The use of hallucinogens in oils and unguents would no doubt explain a lot of the “visions” mentioned in the old and new testaments, much as the witches used oils and unguents to “fly” to their sabbaths.

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          Keith, precisely! I also tracked that back to Hebrew scholars’ mis-translation of ‘anointing oil’, which should correctly translate as ‘an infusion of cannabis’. Said plant was a prolific riverside ‘reed’, grown for rituals, seeds and fibre. The oil from the seeds has eight-times more essential amino acid than cod liver oil, and, the fibre makes unsurpassed rope, cloth and paper – it was a Bronze Age Essential Crop.

        • jackie says:

          how dare you that is not scriptrial or true you people need to find the lord and you need help read the bible and find the true ansewers

        • Keith says:

          “jackie”. Learn some basic grammar and spelling. I and many others here have read your “holy” book. We have weighed it in the scales and found it wanting.

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          Jackie, people ‘dare’ without qualms and your pique is quite irrelevant. If you have problems with this, don’t steal others’ Holy days! There is a bunch of lords in England. Has one of them gone missing?
          The Bible simply reveals the Middle Eastern, Bronze Age style of childish, inter-personal manipulation, politics and delusions. It may be the biggest cause of human suffering ever to have existed.

        • Apprentice Frederic says:

          FWIW, I googled “scriptrial” and “ansewers” in hopes of garnering a little slack for Jackie. Alas, nothing. The first may have something to do with going to court for passing funny paper money, and the second might be about the channels that Christian minds run within. But it *is* nice to get good old Missionary-style sanctimony for a change, these days!

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          AF, I believe you have spotted two new words, currently being used in the Vatican, that Jackie uses correctly.
          It seems quite clear that, rather than being the ‘source of all morals’, Christian bullshit may in fact be the source of all immorals.

        • Keith says:

          I don’t remember Pell using those words when he was being questioned, so I guess they aren’t weasel words.

        • Grizzly Ogre says:

          As usual, I’m a bit late to the discussion, I really don’t get here anywhere as near as often as I’d like.

          But it always gets me when people like Jackie say we need to “find the Lord”
          Surely if he wanted to be found, he wouldn’t be this good at hiding,…

      • G-Rye says:

        Actually, pretty much every Christian holiday “coincides” with another, usually pagan holiday, usually an attempt by Christianity to hijack said festivities, in their effort to subdue those culture(s). When that falls, the Christians just kill everyone until people start flipping their beliefs. Is THAT the meanness you are referring to? Is THAT what we shouldn’t be doing to people?
        — oh, wait, ” I HATE THE FSM”, you’re not even here! You’re as fake as your good !~D

        • G-Rye says:

          (heh- heh… “God” isn’t even in my device’s dictionary, it was autocorrected to “good” ;~)

  4. Rasputin says:

    Wow, I learn so much from this congregation!

  5. Bobby says:

    Any of you guys know how to install mods for minecraft beta 1.7?

    • The Sauceror says:

      Nope.

      • Rasputin says:

        Me neither.

    • Keith says:

      Sorry, I don’t play Minecraft. If it was Angry Birds, Katamari or Pokemon you might have a chance.

  6. The Bearded One says:

    Cashed Wednesday has my vote. I shall practice many times in the hopes to please the FSM.

  7. The Bearded One says:

    I’m guessing the FSM picked a random picture from my wedding 6 years ago to be my avatar, Lol.

  8. Eivind says:

    I already look forward to cashed wednesday 2017! I will do what it takes to make the FSM happy, and will celebrate with great honor ๐Ÿ๐Ÿบ

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