Australian Driver’s License

Published February 16th, 2016 by Bobby Henderson

Good news — Sue from Melbourne was allowed a Colander in her Driver’s License photo, after a fight. Well done.

As always, we take this as implicit government acknowledgement of our legitimacy.


226 Responses to “Australian Driver’s License”

  1. Captain Birdseye says:

    EXCELSIOR, Creationists have their own ‘cosmologists’ who claim the Universe was created 6-thousand years ago and made to appear older. If evidence contradicts the Bible, the evidence must be wrong. Try Answers in Genesis for up-to-date misinformation.

    • Apprentice Frederic says:

      Just brief note to wish all fellow communicants a most joyous Paster: might we all celebrate the joy of His having boiled for our sins and the certainty of an eternity in the Vale of Vermicelli. On this day above all others, we can disregard the sullen, the smug, and the oblivious, and extend a welcome to all who seek, along whatever varied paths. R’Amen!

      • Captain Birdseye says:

        AF, isn’t it strange how some people think ‘theology’ studies something that actually exists, using real evidence and reaching meaningful conclusions. I just can’t think of another purported research subject with less evidential input. Currently, with 2800 different gods to choose from, Christians are atheist to 2799 of them and are as equally un-theistic as I am. Religion is so confusing; how do I know which brand washes the whitest?
        Theology should be a history subject, not a ‘Wonder of the Invisible World’ that provides sound ‘witch’-burning evidence. Pastafarians don’t need the fabricated brain-farts of so-called theologians.

      • Apprentice Frederic says:

        Well-put, Cap’n B. I do think, though, that almost anything can be made into an “….ology” via a set of definitions, axioms, and actual reasoning. As you say, correspondence with experience / reality is another matter. And our pal has demonstrated no such structure and little else besides an acumen for the kind of insults that mad scientists in old movies inflict on their assistants: “Shut up, you fool! Can’t you see that ….?”

      • Captain Birdseye says:

        AF, deists uses the same axiom as theists: ‘God exists’. Thus, for both, reason, logic and science are contingent on God.
        I cannot understand how the same ‘God-given’ logic produces such different outcomes.
        Placing God as the Axiom means that reason, logic and science cannot then be used to provide evidence for the existance of God.
        I was surprised to find that deiology exists, although producing information about the Unknowable seems an oxymoron.

      • The Sauceror says:

        I get the same vibe from non-committed agnostics. They’re not sure whether they are unsure or not.

  2. Saint Gnocchi says:

    Dear Excelsior, If I read EVERY WORD of Karen Armstrong’s ‘The Case For God’ will I go blind?

    • The Sauceror says:

      Dear St. G., assuming it’s not too late and you are still able to read this prayer, I would like to make a religiously presumptuous suggestion, just in case. While you are reading that tripe, make a drunken unconscious effort to skip one word. It probably doesn’t matter what that word is as long as it is predestined to not be read. Then you should be safe and saved. As a safer alternative, it might be holier to go the opposite route: read one word and skip all the others. That would be my blind, ignorant choice.

      As long as you have faith and a few superstitious beliefs to guide you, it should work out just fine. Trust me, I’m a drunken, lazy pirate. I sometimes know what I’m talking about. If you have any sinful doubts or are skeptical about this at all, I have one question: Do you believe me, or your own eyes?

      • Saint Gnocchi says:

        Dear Saucerer, Well, yes, I’ve foraged through this lot but my synapses became constipated quick-quick and would have ‘nun’ of it. She reminds me of two other neurotic/bats***-crazy mystics Pierre de Chardin and Therese.

        • Rasputin says:

          Dear St. G-Spot, Karen Armstrong would have led a much happier and more productive life if she’d swigged a beer, eaten some pasta and got laid instead of going into a nunnery. She’s always got to be the centre of attention, “Oooh I suffered, people were cruel to me, it’s so unfair but look at me and I’ve been right all along and they’re wrong”.
          Give it up girl! Get laid, scream as you orgasm, have some kids and enjoy life.
          Anybody who spends their entire life writing about a deity which DOES NOT EXIST has completely wasted their time.
          Compare Karen Armstrong with our own prophet, the Divine Bobby. His face does not even appear on the website which he founded! It’s because he realises it’s NOT ALL ABOUT HIM!
          The Divine Bobby achieved more with his revelations about the FSM than Karen f***ing Armstrong achieved in her entire mis-spent life.
          I’d like to see Richard Dawkins debate against Karen Armstrong and demolish her.
          (Admittedly Mr. Dawkins is wrong to deny the FSM’s existence, but there’s still time for him to come around.)

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          Mystics are the most dangerous of them all. They hold their ear to a sea-shell and believe they hear the Greater Sea.

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  4. Saint Gnocchi says:

    Make that : Teilhard…. de Chardin? Cannot recall – it was long ago I read him… Jesuit, anthropologist, mystic? I forget now.

    • Rasputin says:

      Yeah, Teilhard de Chardin was wrong, wrong, wrong. As a Jesuit who believed in Jebus, every part of his arguments was bound to be based on a false premise. The Jesuits are like the Vatican’s version of the Waffen S.S., people require a certain mindset before they can join.

  5. Saint Gnocchi says:

    Dear Saucerer, It’s back-to-base time, and am packing up to go back home for usual 10 months. (This time away, I did a LOT of reading, and a pleasant find was “Humanity” by Stuart Walton.)

    • Rasputin says:

      Oh I can’t get through a day without my G-spot.
      Thanks, St. G.

  6. EXCELSIOR says:

    I admire your vocabulary even though it smells like a cess-pool and would like to learn some. Please tell me which Church you learned it at so I can go there for a Master’s Degree!

    • Rasputin says:

      Yes, EXCELSIOR. I wonder how many other swear words he knows. No doubt he’ll give us a list.

      • The Sauceror says:

        Promises. Promises….

  7. Apprentice Frederic says:

    But on the day *after* the holiest day of our year, I feel freer to say that you are evidently afflicted with delusions of grandeur, and that your mother wears combat boots. So there.

    • Captain Birdseye says:

      EXCELSIOR, the single word coming to me was narcissist. It’s quite clear that Bane has nothing of value. I think he/she/it should be talked about, but, not to. It can’t be Christian because it used the ticket to Hell by calling us ‘fools’. (Mathew 5:22)

      • Keith says:

        I was thinking more “Emo” than narcissist: hates everyone and everything. If he tops himself I hope he’ll remember that some poor bastard has to clean up the mess.

      • Captain Birdseye says:

        Keith, I’m not sure what an Emo is. I will look it up. I was going on its perception of superior knowledge and enhanced ability to affect. Piss-poor performance.

    • Rasputin says:

      …and his father smells of elderberries. (A ref. to Monty Python and the Holy Grail.)

  8. Rasputin says:

    Bane has revealed his own true nature. He must have a very unhappy life.

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