Please do not delude yourself

Published November 11th, 2015 by Bobby Henderson

Been a while since I posted one of these, but this one irked me.

Please do not delude yourself that people of real faith are not interested themselves in where you and the other FSM assholes live, and where your loved ones attend school, or work etcetera….

I am not making any threats of any kind, as I am a non-violent Christian.

However, all of the people with my beliefs are not so willing to tolerate your silliness.

My advice is to shut down this pathetic folly, before people far less tolerant of your mockery of their spirituality take an active interest in your membership on a very personal level…

Kevin B

Not sure if that’s a threat or general douchery. It’s weird that people can send such vile messages and assume (hope?) that we won’t publish their identities. I don’t have much interest in publicly shaming, but it’s tempting. You get a C for effort, Kevin. Next time leave an anonymous note or something on my car.

But I think we should give this guy the benefit of the doubt and assume he’s having a rough day, not not-so-subtly threatening us. I think Kevin needs the FSM in his life.

2,675 Responses to “Please do not delude yourself”

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  1. Felicia says:

    I greatly appreciate all of the information you put online and how you explain the FSM. However, as an avid supporter of this, I do not believe everything in this site is accurate, I have read the bible multiple times in this past month alone and most of your information is false, please rethink what you post.

    • Captain Birdseye says:

      Felicia, perhaps you don’t know that the Bible is a collection of plagiarised Bronze Age myths that has doubled in size due to fabricated additions, changes, forgeries and intentional miss-translations, all intended to make money and control credulous people.
      You are probably the only person, ever, who has ‘read it multiple times in a month’. Please rethink what you post.

    • John the ordained one says:

      Dear felicia
      I have spent my life in and out of the laboratory and I can tell you with 100% certainty the stories in your bible don’t pass even tests a grade two child could perform let alone with the
      Tens of millions of dollars in equipment my colleagues and I use to carbon date and therefore
      age this planet and what we find soon it, but since finding a quarter under my pillow I can
      also state with certainty that the tooth fairy is real as is Santa claus mrs.santa claus bull winkle and rocky the priest at my church is a homosexual pedophile as was his replacement and now that I’m older I now know that the catholic church is run by pedophiles who use their fairytales to enrich themselves and silence the millions of boys who they have molested for the last couple of thousand years now come join us and you’ll be free R’amen

      • Captain Birdseye says:

        John, I always found a dollar under my pillow, so, I can state with four times the certainty that the Tooth Fairy exists and that someone was stealing from you.

        • A.B.S. Tracy the Foolhardy says:

          I have long suspected that my parents were not fans of the Tooth Fairy, likely due to suspicions of where he came about his moneys. It was for this reason I suspect, that he was kept from our home, whereby my tooth would remain and no money was to be found in its stead. Argh….

        • Ash says:

          it’s been years since i’ve found money under my pillow, does the tooth fairy not like me?

    • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

      I would hold more credence in the Bible if it had a single fact not commonly known to the average person living in the Middle East 2,000 years ago. You know, like the orbit of the earth around the sun, the nature of stars or atoms, or the existence of 4 other continents.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Screw you fricking retards. I think your religion is bullcrap and do not accept the idea of worshiping the holy pasta of fricking hades. I think you should shut this stupid website down and get a life.



    • Captain Birdseye says:

      Anonymous, I think your religion is bullshit and do not accept the idea of worshiping a Bronze Age, non-existent, psychopathic ‘god’ and an imaginary zombie.
      I’m amazed that Christianity wasn’t shut down centuries ago, as the most evil criminal organisation that has ever existed.

      • Excelsior says:

        Captain Birdseye,
        According to Victor Hugo’s estimation, the “Loving” God’s Christian Church burned at least 5 million people at the stake during the Inquisition. According to Marija Gimbutas, Professor of Archeology at The University of California, This Church is responsible for the burning at the stake of 9 million people during the Witch Hunts, mostly women and children!
        By comparison, Hitler murdered only 6 million Jews in the Holocaust, and only burned them after they were dead!
        There are many skeletons like this in the Christian closet. This is only a sample!
        The FSM would never do anything like that! RAmen!

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          Excelsior, don’t forget there were several Inquisitions, such as Mexican and Goan, so the number of victims will be much higher.

          I came accross this gem of fundie astrobabble that may be of use in correcting your measurements of distance.
          “… the Windows of Heaven is an astronomical repulsive force; and as the Windows open, the force increases…. the force changes time so that in the time of the Flood the Windows of Heaven caused time to pass faster so, as they opened up, billions of years passed by in 5 months”.

      • Captain Birdseye Constant Demands People Rethink What They Post says:

        Excuse me but the imaginary zombie you speak of (presumably Jesus) is not imaginary. It has been proven time and time again he is real. It has also been proven time and time again that he didn’t do any of the things the Bible says he did. The point of Pastafarianism is live and let live, and calling a religion bullshit, is strictly against Pastafarianism. I know I´m technically violating that by saying it, but I’m just trying to provide a friendly reminder.

        Please rethink what you post.

        • Captain B says:

          If Jesus’ existence and resurrection had in fact “been proven time and time again”, then you wouldn’t be inventing bull-shit either. But, it hasn’t and you are.

        • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

          It has never proven that Jesus even EXISTED. Historians of his time didn’t write a single word about a man who supposedly preached to thousands and performed miracles.

    • noobtron says:

      noobtron 5000

  3. Anonymous says:

    You are the most retarded people who have ever seen a noobtron pasta star.

    • Keith says:

      I have no idea what a “noobtron” is and even less idea of what a “Noobtron pasta star” is. If you want to make up words you should explain what they mean, or better still ask your primary school teacher if they are suitable for use in the English language.

    • Ash says:

      Why can’t you people be accepting of the religion of others?

      • Noobtron says:

        Noobtron Meaning Nickelback. A band that should replace white noise torture at Guantanamo Bay

  4. Minister Petre-Azeem says:

    Such words from another religion disappoint me. What makes theirs so much more believable? Heck.

    • datcom says:

      swag swag swag we got those pcs and those encryptions

  5. xu chen in london says:

    this is funny

    • matt lond says:

      yes it is isn’t it

  6. Max says:

    Buddha used to say:
    Everybody have the right to reach happiness.
    Meditation is enough to find happiness but, if you like, you can also search your happiness in religions.
    No matter which religion, just be happy.

  7. Noobtron says:

    Noobtron Meaning Nickelback. A band that should replace white noise torture at Guantanamo Bay

  8. Anonymus says:

    This is the funniest thing I have seen in a while, thank you guys XDXDXDXDXDXD

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