Please do not delude yourself

Published November 11th, 2015 by Bobby Henderson

Been a while since I posted one of these, but this one irked me.

Please do not delude yourself that people of real faith are not interested themselves in where you and the other FSM assholes live, and where your loved ones attend school, or work etcetera….

I am not making any threats of any kind, as I am a non-violent Christian.

However, all of the people with my beliefs are not so willing to tolerate your silliness.

My advice is to shut down this pathetic folly, before people far less tolerant of your mockery of their spirituality take an active interest in your membership on a very personal level…

Kevin B

Not sure if that’s a threat or general douchery. It’s weird that people can send such vile messages and assume (hope?) that we won’t publish their identities. I don’t have much interest in publicly shaming, but it’s tempting. You get a C for effort, Kevin. Next time leave an anonymous note or something on my car.

But I think we should give this guy the benefit of the doubt and assume he’s having a rough day, not not-so-subtly threatening us. I think Kevin needs the FSM in his life.



2,667 Responses to “Please do not delude yourself”

  1. landon says:

    you need some mental help i mean wearing pots on your head

    • Fusilli says:

      No mental help is needed. It is really easy to lift and I don’t believe in telekinesis.

  2. landon says:

    i compare you to a satainc cult

    • Fusilli says:

      I think you may be mistaken. Santa worship is a different religion.

      • Impasta says:

        I’m a dicklexic too

  3. landon says:

    i cant stand this ladicris crap

    • Fusilli says:

      I don’t know a Ladi Cris. So I have never had to put up with her crap. You have my sympathy and I will shake a bag of pasta to take away the negative vibes.

  4. landon says:

    you disgust me

    • Spätzle says:

      Maybe it is a food allergy ? You might have to try gluten free. I really don’t know anyone sane that dislikes pasta.

  5. landon says:

    i think you need shock therapy i dont usally insult religons exept if they are so outrageus that they make my head hurtnot eating cows is ok becaus in america we would never eat cats but pasta god really really comon i dont understand i just dont you are so stupid idiocey pure idiocey its just facts that spageti is a food not a god this is just shit

    • Bane says:

      Disabled toilet

      • Captain Birdseye says:

        So what then is Jew-on-a-stick, eaten at communion?

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          ….and cat is so tasty.

        • Ash says:

          have you, by any chance tried cat pasta?

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          No, Ash, what’s it like? I was simply having fond memories of the cat-o-nine-tails, which is regularly tasted by my crew.

    • Keith says:

      I think you need lessons in remedial English.

      • Bane says:

        I agree Keith….It’s back to school with you….lol..

    • Waldo Kaine says:

      Yes, spaghetti is a food and we eat his flesh not unlike some Christian sects consume the flesh of their god in their Eucharist beliefs and rituals.
      There is nothing more ridiculous or stupid or idiotic about our Lord and Creator being made out of pasta than so many other religions and their beliefs (turning water into wine…and wine becoming blood…etc.). Furthermore I KNOW IT’S TRUE. My god is not limited by ANYTHING! I’m amazed at how so many religions limit the very omnipotence of their own god(s) because they cannot imagine it in their own minds. God does what he likes for his own reasons and no one is in a position to question it so for they can’t comprehend it!

      As far as I believe, my FAITH shows me that Pastafarianism IS correct because I KNOW the FSM says so! and we all Believe*

      *Circular Logic is allowed in religion, btw.

      • Waldo Kaine says:

        And please…don’t MOCK MY FAITH.
        I’m 100% serious. I haven’t mocked yours or anyone elses.
        I don’t see that we in the CFSM have any more unusual beliefs than so many other legitimate religions like ours.

        I also have a piece of paper that says I’m a minister PLUS my FAITH and my BELIEF! That is REAL!

        May God bless you and touch you with his noodly appendage and enlighten you.
        rAmen.

        • Patroller says:

          Disabled toilet.

        • Mr. Hankey says:

          Good to see that you’re still able to find food, Patroller, despite the theodamage
          https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR_9ma7TnSlGPHq2gHRL48nM6ZyNEyKH_f5v0Q539sioS5_fZbiP0wfmTFpBw

        • Patroller says:

          Hankey, good to see you can still post disturbing images that reflect your depraved mind. Lol..

        • Mr. Hankey says:

          Well, thank you, Patroller! I beam with pride. It’s a glorious image, innit? The true spirit of Spreading The Good News.

        • Patroller says:

          Beware anyone who encounters Hankey. He’s a strange and weird little man.

          Disabled toilet.

    • lasagna says:

      We had a cat called Landon. But he was smart.

    • Dr Fazzoletti says:

      I’m stating the obvious – but don’t think about religion if it makes your head hurt.

      Nourishment rituals involving pasta, pirates, wine and beer also alleviate stress and pain. (Obviously not too much wine and beer)

      Some studies suggest that wearing a colander also alleviates pain. These studies are based on “no blind” trials (who would be so stupid to do it blind) with specially selected highly suggestible individuals and a reward is given for the correct results. Pointless spending money on testing if it doesn’t match the conclusions – who would be so foolish ?

      • M. Pease says:

        I can personally attest to some of this. I spend an uncommonly large percentage of my time in the vicinity of a Pirate (I married one), eat pasta with regularity, and often consume my alcohol in the form of rum*. And while I no longer own a colander, I do make sure to occasionally borrow and wear my Pirate’s tricorn, which I would assume is the next-best thing.

        * not wine or beer, but a favourite of Pirates, and thus presumably also acceptable to the Noodly Master.

        • Kid K says:

          I thunk its funny how people rip on this religion bit when it comes to god and the bible god kills more people than their so called devil. P.s people should get their head out of their ass and respect others and their religious beliefs.

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          Kid K, read up on the Inquisitions, Crusades, auto-de-fe, colonialism and the murderous pornocracy of the popes etc. etc.
          Christianity is the most evil, international criminal organisation that has ever existed.

  6. Waldo Kaine says:

    I say fuck Kevin B in the ass with a big rubber dick.
    I’m gonna promote CFSM gospel even more so!

  7. Bigoli says:

    It is better to start with a small noodle first.

    • Ash says:

      Then add the large ones? Should the meatballs be included?

      • Captain Birdseye says:

        Yes, Ash, but Bigoli is an expert, who would probably use a mallet for the meatballs.

  8. Just A Cat says:

    I had such a good read, welp now I’m bored..

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