Please do not delude yourself

Published November 11th, 2015 by Bobby Henderson

Been a while since I posted one of these, but this one irked me.

Please do not delude yourself that people of real faith are not interested themselves in where you and the other FSM assholes live, and where your loved ones attend school, or work etcetera….

I am not making any threats of any kind, as I am a non-violent Christian.

However, all of the people with my beliefs are not so willing to tolerate your silliness.

My advice is to shut down this pathetic folly, before people far less tolerant of your mockery of their spirituality take an active interest in your membership on a very personal level…

Kevin B

Not sure if that’s a threat or general douchery. It’s weird that people can send such vile messages and assume (hope?) that we won’t publish their identities. I don’t have much interest in publicly shaming, but it’s tempting. You get a C for effort, Kevin. Next time leave an anonymous note or something on my car.

But I think we should give this guy the benefit of the doubt and assume he’s having a rough day, not not-so-subtly threatening us. I think Kevin needs the FSM in his life.

2,523 Responses to “Please do not delude yourself”

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  1. HeBoiled4Us says:

    All these people just need some faith. The FSM does amazing things for us. He once even gave up his life. Such a great being should never be tolerated such as this. They just don’t understand, they need to learn. We need to help them so they can reach pastaria. We have to free them from the clutches of the meatballord before it’s too late.

  2. Fuffles the Frying Pan says:

    we live in new zealand, where we have been declared an actual religion

  3. Autumn says:

    I’m doing a speech at my high school about why Pastafarianism is a religion and to make it believable my teacher wants me to have statistics. Have you seen any other statistics besides the ones about pirates and pollution? If so can you send them to me? My teacher is one of the non-believers in this amazing religion so if you could find one that can convince someone with a logical mind. I have looked everywhere and it would be a great help if you could. :)

    • Apprentice Frederic says:

      Autumn, note Kiva contributions and our global and US legal status….

    • Captain Birdseye says:

      Autumn, you must begin with the dictionary definition of ‘religion’. It has several factors. List these factors and give reasons how Pastafarianism satisfies each one.
      Argue that matters of faith do not have statistics: only science has statistics. If your teacher means sheer number of believers, point this out as a logical fallacy: no number of believers means that something is correct. (Example: it was universally believed that the Earth was flat) Conversely, having no believers does not mean that something is incorrect.
      Use the same reasoning that other religionists use, by asking for the evidence that The FSM does not exist. At the same time, ask for the evidence that their particular deity does exist.
      For extra points, argue that a presupposition that The FSM exists, causes The FSM to exist. This is what Christians do all of the time. Ask to be proved wrong.
      Get hold of a copy of The FSM Gospel: it has an Appendix where several eminent scientists provide evidence that The FSM exists.

    • Keith says:

      I think that Apprentice and the Cap’n have the right answers and I cannot add anything of value to that.

    • Rasputin says:

      Dear Autumn, the value of statistics is over rated. Consider the 19th century British prime minister who said, “There are three types of lies: Lies, damned lies and statistics”.
      Or as the comedian Vic Reeves said, “67% of statistics are just made-up”.

      • Captain Birdseye says:

        Rasputin, I think there’s a perfect quote in there for Autumn to use. I did five years of statistics at uni to conclude that it’s actually 68%.

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