Please do not delude yourself

Published November 11th, 2015 by Bobby Henderson

Been a while since I posted one of these, but this one irked me.

Please do not delude yourself that people of real faith are not interested themselves in where you and the other FSM assholes live, and where your loved ones attend school, or work etcetera….

I am not making any threats of any kind, as I am a non-violent Christian.

However, all of the people with my beliefs are not so willing to tolerate your silliness.

My advice is to shut down this pathetic folly, before people far less tolerant of your mockery of their spirituality take an active interest in your membership on a very personal level…

Kevin B

Not sure if that’s a threat or general douchery. It’s weird that people can send such vile messages and assume (hope?) that we won’t publish their identities. I don’t have much interest in publicly shaming, but it’s tempting. You get a C for effort, Kevin. Next time leave an anonymous note or something on my car.

But I think we should give this guy the benefit of the doubt and assume he’s having a rough day, not not-so-subtly threatening us. I think Kevin needs the FSM in his life.

2,702 Responses to “Please do not delude yourself”

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  1. JD says:

    How do I join this beautiful Religion, I am atheist right now and FSM came into my dreams last night and told me about this website and where to sign-up but I did not get it because his voice was kinda breaking-up due to poor connection I guess. Is there any churchofFSM in India ?

    PS: He asked to forward his “new connection” order through me. As its kinda exhausting doing all that dream bombing thing on Dial-up.

    • Captain B says:

      The FSM uses a noodle-optic connection, JD, which may be affected by cross contamination with rice.
      It is possible that Kali is a manifestation of The FSM, so, The FSM may be nearer than you think.

    • JC says:

      Congratulations! You are now a member!

  2. Jen says:

    True Christianity condemns hate and violence of every kind with Hell. He’s got his coming as dederved. Religions are so specific and clear about this. It’s great isn’t it.

  3. Jen says:

    True Christianity condemns hate and violence of every kind with Hell. He’s got his coming as dederved. Religions are so specific and clear about this. It’s great isn’t it.

    • Excelsior says:

      For God so loved the World that he created a Hell so that those people who don’t worship him can enjoy burning in Hell for eternity. Since only about 1/3 of the World population worships him, and many of those like Pascal just do lip service, which doesn’t fool God, and they will be going to Hell anyway, that means that at least 90% of theWorld population goes to Hell which would be at least 6 billion people going to Hell. That’s why God made the universe so immense, otherwise Hell wouldn’t fit in!

      • Captain B says:

        How can Christians call it Good Friday, when Bad Friday seems more appropriate. How can they accept a deal that involves a human sacrifice for their personal gain. If Christians all stood up to their tyranical god and rejected the offer on moral grounds, supposed Heaven would have no one in it.

        • bruceo says:

          They should have called it “Killin’ Friday”.

      • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

        What about all those who were born before Jesus or never heard of him? Israel in the first century wasn’t exactly the media center of the world, you know. I guess this is why there’s a highway to hell but only a stairway to heaven.

        • Captain B says:

          Jesus’ taking time off for the supposed Harrowing of Hell to rescue the likes of Noah, conflicts with His reported penultimate words of ‘see you later today…’. Hopefully, when Hell’s candidates hear of the human sacrifice bit, they will uniformly reject the sadistic offer of a tyrant. I wonder if Eve was on the rescue list.

        • Keith says:

          It doesn’t look as though Adam’s first wife Lilith was on his list of those to be saved.

        • Captain B says:

          If I remember my Sunday School teacher correctly, Lilith was was made from dust, just like Adam was, but Eve, who caused the whole sorry business, was a transexual clone.

        • Excelsior says:

          Dear FPM,
          Exactly! The only way to avoid burning in Hell for eternity is to really accept Jesus as your savior.The following list is just a sample some of the people who will burn in Hell for eternity:
          1- Those that worship other religions or no religions.
          2-Those that never heard of Jesus.
          3- Those whose ancesters all the way up to their great grand parents didn’t worship God. (See the First Commandment!)
          4-Those fake worshippers like Pascal who are only buying “fire insurance”!
          5-Extra-terrestrial sentients. There are billions of galaxies in the universe. Each galaxy could have a billion Earth-lke exoplanets that could easily spawn people like us. To insist that we are the only sentient race in the whole universe is too conceited! Even the Vatican conceeds to aliens all over the universe. They will all go to Hell!

          Now try to imagine how many people are going to Hell. It’s mind boggling!
          It’s at least a number larger than all the atoms in the universe!

        • Keith says:

          It’s interesting to reflect on the fact that although mediaeval Christians knew the Earth to be a globe they did not believe the Antipodes could be inhabited. Their reasoning was that any people who lived there could not be reached and therefore could not be taught the gospel: ergo, there could not possibly be people living there.

        • Captain B says:

          As Excelsior mentioned, all aliens are automatically Hell-bound. Christians might get Earth labelled as hostile. I do hope that said aliens don’t find out and respond with pre-emptive retaliation of a Hell of their own. Hopefully, The FSM has emissaries that has warned them about this primitive death cult.
          Who would celebrate a human torture/sacrifice for personal gain? That sounds more like an African tribal-religion’s AIDS ‘cure’, than the alleged source of all morals.

  4. Keith says:

    Easter is the time of the miraculous transubstantiation where Jesus turns to chocolate.

    • SillyKiwiMan says:

      Don’t forget the miracle where bunnies can lay eggs!

  5. Keith says:

    Ah, but are they really eggs? How big is the Easter Bunny anyway?

  6. Excelsior says:

    A warning to my Christian friends:
    First the Notre Dame burns down. Then on Easter Day Several Churches were blown up in Sri Lanka killing 200 worshippers! Why do you want to worship a God who cannot/willnot protect his own Churches or worshippers?

    This same God, who called the Jews his “Chosen People”, didn’t lift a finger to save one of them when Hitler murdered 6 million of them! On the contrary, it was the Atheist Schindler who single-handed saved more than a thousand!

    So, my Christian Friend, If you were in danger would you trust your God to save you? Wake up! Stop dreaming!

  7. Steven Schulte says:

    I like how he’s a “non violent christian” yay should be more of that.👾

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