Kiva Team FSM has reached $2 Million in Loans

Published March 24th, 2014 by Bobby Henderson


Team FSM has reached $2 Million in loans on the micro-lending site Kiva. We’re now the top-lending religious congregation on Kiva, above the Buddhists, Catholics, Muslims, and — especially pleasing to me – above the Mormons, who we’ve been in a friendly competition with for years. Congratulations everyone!

suck it, mormons

What is Kiva? Kiva is a platform where you can make small loans to people in poor areas that need help starting small business. We make small, interest-free loans towards the projects we support, and Kiva combines them to fund the loan to the person who wants to build a small workshop, farm, restaurant, fruit stand, etc. These are interest-fee loans in places like Cambodia, Peru, Uganda — places where traditional bank lending to the poor is unavailable (or predatory). Kiva ensures that the loans are paid out and that the money is paid back. A lot of us feel this is the best way of bringing economic growth to the poorest areas.

I’ve had a good experience with Kiva and I encourage anyone interested to check it out. And please join our amazing team and help us continue to trounce the mainstream religion teams.

2,202 Responses to “Kiva Team FSM has reached $2 Million in Loans”

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  1. bruce and susan says:


  2. Daniel says:

    Wow we flew past the everyone.

  3. Randy says:

    FSM is surely pleased!

  4. cherry says:

    Am Mrs Benita obaba from USA,i want to testify of the good work of DR FRANK.
    i was humiliated by my ex husband and also treated like a commoner because he got in contact with with a harlot who turned him against me totally.
    i need vengeance by all means so i got in contact with DR FRANK who help fight against the harlot and the two of them had a serious marital breakdown and confusion was now their breakfast and all and everything went down the drain and he is begging me now like seriously,as am saying this right now my husband is even more 100% in love with me again but i don’t want to give him any chance again because i don’t want to get hurt.
    so whatever your situation look like just email the below address now.
    [email protected]

  5. Paul says:

    Atheists sit at $14,936,325, Christians at $10,461,475 as of today. I don’t know why your data is so far off.
    I can’t upload the screencap, but I got it here: http://www.kiva.org/teams

    • Captain Birdseye says:

      Paul, without checking your data, I think the figure of $2 million is for Pastafarians only, which, I think, is remarkable for a disorganised bunch of scurvy pirates. Also, we are not a-theists, but, True Believers.
      Obviously, pirates are caring people. Aaaaarghhhh….

    • Zach says:

      Paul, you have to click on categories, and then click “Religious Congregations.” You will actually find that the Bahai have surpassed the Mormons now. But we are still in first. Praise his noodliness and happy Pastover!!

  6. Rod says:

    Congrats fellow Pastafarians. Ive got a question about my search for information on his noodley-ness, would Allah Denti be a proper way to end a prayer or just R’amen?



    Do you need an urgent loan for business or to pay bills at 3% interest rate? We give out loan to individual and cooperate bodies ranging from $3000 dollars to $20 million dollars maximum duration period of 1 to 30 years, If Yes Contact us with the below details.
    (1) Names______
    (2) Country________
    (3) Phone Number_______
    (4) Gender_________
    (5) Loan Amount________
    (6) Duration:_________
    (7) Monthly Income____
    Yours Sincerely,
    email: [email protected]


      Dear Dr. Williams Martin Loan Firm, Please loan me $20 million for 30 years. I urgently need this money to open a whorehouse in Salt Lake City, Utah.

      • Williams Martin Loan Firm says:

        Dear IMP: We must regretfully decline your request. There are already too many whorehouses in SLC and we doubt that you will recoup much on your investment. It is well-known that the Archangel Moroni blows his horn whenever a virgin walks past the Temple; he has been silent for many decades now.

      • Williams loans says:

         ([email protected]) )
        My name is Lady Vicky Beny, i am from Carlifornia USA, married, i have
        been searching for a genuine loan company for the past 5 months and
        all i got was bunch of scams who made me to trust them and at the end
        of the day, they took my money without giving anything in return, all
        my hope was lost, i got confused and frustrated,i find it very
        difficult to feed my family, i never wanted to have anything to do
        with loan companies on net, so i went to borrow some money from a
        friend, i told him all that happened and he said he can help me, that
        he knows a loan company that can help me with any amount of loan
        needed by me with a very low interest rate of 2%, that he just got a
        loan from them, he directed me on how to apply for the loan, i did
        just as he told me, i applied, i never believed but i tried and to my
        greatest surprise i got the loan within 24 hours, i could not believe,
        i am happy and rich again and i am thanking God that such loan
        companies like this still exist upon this scams all over the places,
        please i advise everyone out there who are in need of loan to go for
        ([email protected]) they will never fail you,and
        your life shall change as mine did.

    • ConservativePastafarian says:

      I need a grant to take stripper lessons. That skill will be very useful to me after I have finished with this life.

  8. marco says:

    Today it’s a special day, the day when our Lord The Flying Spaghetti Monster resurrected, after being overcooked. Rejoice with us and exchange colored meatballs with your friends.

    Buona Pasta a tutti. Happy Paster to everybody,


    • Rod says:

      I plan to celebrate Paster with some pasta carbonara.

      May all your treasure hunts be filled with lots of booty fellow pirate.

      Al’lah denti, R’amen.

    • TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

      He rolled aside a meatball, and saw his shadow, so we have 6 more weeks of Ad Lente.

      • Keith says:

        And a temporal recursion.

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