The Colander In His Admiration: Aaron Williams acknowledges NJ Licencing Laws

Published February 21st, 2013 by Wayne

The Holy Colander, blessed of His Noodlyness because He Boiled for Us inside it, has once again confirmed its rightful place among the Holiest of religious head garments!

Aaron Williams, an Egg Harbor NJ Pastafarian and Sauced Beyond Marinated, has paid tribute to the just Licencing Laws of New Jersey and honoured Lord Glob by wearing the Holy Colander for a renewal photo. Joining Niko Alm with the desire to etch his devotion to the One True Monster in perpetuity, Aaron insisted that the Colander did not breach the Licencing Law.

Despite Aaron Spreading the Truth, the Unenlightened, dedicated as they are to the Law of New Jersey, were compelled to refer this Holy Matter to the State.

Here are some excerpts of  Aaron’s Epistles of Enlightenment to the MVC from the original South Brunswick Patch report written by Davy James:

“What we deem as different or embarrassing is different from what another individual deems as different or embarrassing, in terms of religious practices,” Williams told Patch on Tuesday.

“Had it been a turban or a head scarf, or something from a mainstream religion, then it would’ve been fine,” he said. “I guess since they hadn’t heard of the religion, that’s why they opposed it. But that’s not really acceptable to me. They’re not in a position to discriminate against religions that are mainstream, or not mainstream, just because they may not have heard about it.”

“The people there were very polite, but I’d like to have better training for their employees, so I may be looking into some way to educate their employees on their own policies,” he said. “I feel like after I expressed my opinions and beliefs they were definitely more accepting. I was met with hostility at first and they were asking me what my problem was.

“I didn’t have a problem, they had the problem. After I expressed myself, they realized I wasn’t just some crazy person, but they still didn’t let me wear the strainer for my picture.”

Here is a link to Davy’s original article.

May His Noodlyness Touch the Unenlightened that they become strengthened by Protein, and that the Colander takes its true place not only among the world’s great head garments of faith but on the photo of every Pastafarian driver licence holder!


(Thanks to South Brunswick Patch and Davy James)

92 Responses to “The Colander In His Admiration: Aaron Williams acknowledges NJ Licencing Laws”

  1. heartent says:

    interesting point. I had a (wooden) cutlass when a small boy, and fell over it, just as you said

  2. Ferd says:

    I’m a theist basically, enjoy researching history, philosophy and religion, and have no problem with the silliness of the Pastafarians. Sometimes humor allows us to see things differently and I love the absurd. I would only submit that being highly invested in humor can be an escape from the rigors of discovering absolute values as you’re going down the path of relativism. In humor, you avoid all the studied nuances of religion, negate a huge part of human history, and ignore parts of science that allow us to see beyond the mechanistic universe concept. In short, you’re funny, but it will lead to stunting your growth.

    • SillyKiwiMan says:


      I would argue the opposite.

      I appreciate the effect that religion has had on history (both good and bad), it’s place in society in the past, it’s influence on art, early influence on science before “science” was actually scientific, and don’t dispute that there are a few good moral messages.

      There is no such thing as an absolute value. Everything relies on context. The most heinous sounding act, while still being heinous, may appear different when viewed in another light.

      I’m also curious as to which parts of science we’re ignoring that “see past the mechanistic universe”? What is the universe if not mechanistic? If you want to discuss things outside the realm of a physical universe, then you’re talking theology and mythology (which for my money are the same bloody thing), not science.

      In rebuttal to your statement that we’re stunting our growth: No we’re not. The scientific method requires an open mind at all times. It is understood that things will change, some things haven’t changed in a very long time, but they may in the future. No scientist has made their name reinforcing the status quo, but by discovering something revolutionary or upsetting the apple cart of a current paradigm. Religion teaches that it’s all part of some divine plan. Glaring inconsistencies, and things that are frankly stupid are brushed off as “mysterious ways” or matters of faith.

      I see the occasional small mind in science, I see millions in religion. It depresses me, but as the world grows, religion is consigned to the shelves of anthropological history, where it belongs.


      • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

        I was going to respond to Ferd but then I read your post, SKM. You nailed it. Ferd mistakes imagination for growth.

        • Apprentice Frederic says:

          tFtPtM, FWIW, your comment seconded. Such a pleasure to see SKM’s cogent response to Ferd. Just to round it out, though, I would cut Ferd some slack for a compact and reasonably courteous statement of *his* position. It’s nice to have better stimulus than loan scammers here….

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          Is anyone going to reappoint a moderator? The spam-scam rubbish needs killing!
          SKM, I have spent some days integrating your comments with my interest in homeostatic mechanisms (how red can be perceived as white, or, pain can be perceived as pleasure etc). Context can change everything. All paradigms reduce ‘reality’, and, I believe there was/are people who imagine science as doing just that when, it does nothing of the sort.
          Imagination is a valuable attribute, but, people should realise it is only that. Unfortunately, I don’t see the likes of ISIS confined to the shelve yet.
          Broadly, I see two groups of people: a/ those who believe the World would be a better place if they live by their own ethics, and, b/ those who think the World would be a better place if only other people would do things their way, including killing them if they don’t.

      • SillyKiwiMan says:

        Thank you all for your kind words. With the waning of this church, I think more activity from all of us is our only shot at keeping things alive.

        I also thought it was time I responded to a god-botherer with a slightly more eloquent response than “you’re stupid”.

        On a sad note, anyone see the rant by the missionaries cured of ebola by medical science who attributed their survival to god and god alone? He must really hate the hundred of dead if he only bothered to respond to prayers regarding two whities.

        It’s like lightning rods on churches. It displays an almost singular lack of faith (or is it really a belief in Thor?).


        • Apprentice Frederic says:

          @SKM: You’re spot-on regarding resolute activity!

          About missionaries, Bertrand Russell tells a story about a pastor who moved to a new church; after he left, the manse burned to the ground, whereupon the departed pastor gave profuse thanks to God. What the new pastor did, Russell said, was not known.

          Regarding lightning rods on churches, I once read in the Introduction to a great book about lightning physics that, long ago, churches were used to store gunpowder on the grounds that God wouldn’t strike them. A number of churches were destroyed, and that’s actually when lightning rods appeared. So….even God-botherers are susceptible to empiricism!!!!

        • Keith says:

          OK,I’m back. I guess I couldn’t let this site alone. During the Civil Wars in Britain (yes, the Americans do not have a monopoly on Civil War), many church bells were “requisitioned” to be recast into cannons. This is not surprising as the second Civil War was composed mainly of sieges. During this time most powder stocks were held either in secure areas (like The Tower of London) or well fortified Manor Houses. The Parliamentarians housed troops in churches, or just about any other sheltered area. (It meant that they did not die from the cold sheltering under hedgerows). The upshot is that in the period in question it seems that churches were unlikely to store gunpowder.

        • Apprentice Frederic says:

          Interesting! Evidently, there was also a period of rowing over whether installing lightning rods was heretical, because that would represent an attempt to thwart God’s will.

        • SillyKiwiMan says:

          Glad you’re back Keith. As frustrating as the scammers are, I believe that this too shall pass.

          The world needs the voice of reason in this age of freely disseminated idiocy.

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          I’m also glad you’re back, Keith, but, I don’t think the scamming/spamming will be a passing phase: we’re on their mailing list and it may be indefinite without a moderator to kill them.
          Regarding Ebola, SKM, it would be tempting to offer three treatments: prayers, antibiotics or prayers and antibiotics and keep track of the survival-rate. Problem is, they won’t believe the probable results. I can already predict an explanation: God created and sent the antibiotic.

    • Captain Birdseye says:

      Oh, I see, Ferd, so, the ‘absolute truth’ is discovered through the ‘rigour’ of theistic dogma and imagination. What a load of self-serving bollocks: ‘God’ is simply man worshiping himself. Can you explain how 20,000 other groups also claim to know the ‘true path’?

      Sorry to inform you Ferd, but, as SKM says, everything is a type of mechanism: atoms, molecules, planetary systems and even our brain cells communicate digitally (viz. work like 50 billion tiny cogs). Try adding some non-linear mathematics and artificial intelligence to your reading list.

      However, if you mean the reductive concept of a simple mechanical Universe (as in a Victorian machine), I agree, that is as passé as post-modernism, or post-post-modernism, or information-processing. Aaaarghhhhh, the joy of sects.

  3. Jo Switten says:

    Is Ferd calling us silly? Why would he do that? We are the only religion with a real God! I pray to His Divine Noodliness he will be enlightened soon! r’Amen! :)

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