The Colander In His Admiration: Aaron Williams acknowledges NJ Licencing Laws

Published February 21st, 2013 by Wayne

The Holy Colander, blessed of His Noodlyness because He Boiled for Us inside it, has once again confirmed its rightful place among the Holiest of religious head garments!

Aaron Williams, an Egg Harbor NJ Pastafarian and Sauced Beyond Marinated, has paid tribute to the just Licencing Laws of New Jersey and honoured Lord Glob by wearing the Holy Colander for a renewal photo. Joining Niko Alm with the desire to etch his devotion to the One True Monster in perpetuity, Aaron insisted that the Colander did not breach the Licencing Law.

Despite Aaron Spreading the Truth, the Unenlightened, dedicated as they are to the Law of New Jersey, were compelled to refer this Holy Matter to the State.

Here are some excerpts of  Aaron’s Epistles of Enlightenment to the MVC from the original South Brunswick Patch report written by Davy James:

“What we deem as different or embarrassing is different from what another individual deems as different or embarrassing, in terms of religious practices,” Williams told Patch on Tuesday.

“Had it been a turban or a head scarf, or something from a mainstream religion, then it would’ve been fine,” he said. “I guess since they hadn’t heard of the religion, that’s why they opposed it. But that’s not really acceptable to me. They’re not in a position to discriminate against religions that are mainstream, or not mainstream, just because they may not have heard about it.”

“The people there were very polite, but I’d like to have better training for their employees, so I may be looking into some way to educate their employees on their own policies,” he said. “I feel like after I expressed my opinions and beliefs they were definitely more accepting. I was met with hostility at first and they were asking me what my problem was.

“I didn’t have a problem, they had the problem. After I expressed myself, they realized I wasn’t just some crazy person, but they still didn’t let me wear the strainer for my picture.”

Here is a link to Davy’s original article.

May His Noodlyness Touch the Unenlightened that they become strengthened by Protein, and that the Colander takes its true place not only among the world’s great head garments of faith but on the photo of every Pastafarian driver licence holder!


(Thanks to South Brunswick Patch and Davy James)

92 Responses to “The Colander In His Admiration: Aaron Williams acknowledges NJ Licencing Laws”

  1. William says:

    Licensing not Licencing……

    • Alex says:

      wrong. the way this passage was written was obviously not in american english, as first hinted by the spelling of the word “honoured”, therefore, his spelling of “licencing” is derivative of either canadian, australian, or UK english, with british english obviously being the correct english language construct.

      • The sun never sets... says:

        Alex, you seem to forget who won the Revolutionary War. Blimey, British English is NOT the correct English Language construct.

        The sun never sets on the union jackoff.

  2. Justin says:

    Could I wear a colander everyday? Like to a school that has uniform?

  3. Justin says:

    Also could I wear pirate wear?

    • Keith says:

      That decision would unboubtedly be in the lap of your head master/mistress (or whatever they call them these days).

  4. Savage says:

    LOL! Here’s Aaron at his Bar Mitzvah:

  5. Bogart says:

    You should be ashamed of this post. The FSM is spaghetti NOT noodles. Stop Referring to “his noodlyness”. Noodles are a totally different thing to spaghetti.

    You should be ashamed.

    I call a holy war in the name of spaghetti!!!!!

    Rise up and silence the noodler infidel!!!!


    • The Reverend Toni Rigatoni says:

      Come, come Bogart, think about what you’re saying! As you you should know, the Flying Spaghetti Monster created the earth and all things that dwell in or above the earth, accepted? Therefore He existed before noodles and can therefore legitimately lay claim to the title of ‘Noodlyness’ (capitalised please, he is the Deity after all). Indeed, the existence of noodles are merely the feeble attempt by man to create a likeness of the FSM, a ‘graven image’ if you will, using the word ‘noodle’ to honour our Master and Creator. Unlike many lesser upstart deities, His Noodlyness doesn’t object to graven images of his beatific persona, in fact he is secretly pleased I’m sure; I of course have no proof of this but that’s never stopped the clergy from presenting their imaginings and outright bullshit as fact in the past. If you disagree with what I say then you are obviously ‘no true Pastafarian’.

      May the sauce be with you.

      The Reverend

      • Rev.Dr.Jo. says:

        Harrr! heathens and infidels!

        Gospel of The Flying Spaghetti Monster wrote:
        DEAR FRIEND,
        Welcome to the wonderful world of religion!
        These are exciting times in holiness—politicians are crusading, nations are invading, and science1 is fading. With these changes come religious opportunities the likes of which haven’t been seen since the Reformation… or at least since the persecuted masses first huddled together and shipped off to that great democratic revival meeting we call the United States of America.
        With this in mind, the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM) invites you to learn a little more about us. We’d like to tell you all about our Heaven, which features a Stripper Factory and a giant Beer Volcano. We’d love to see you dressed in His chosen garb: full Pirate regalia. We want you to enjoy Fridays as His chosen holiday. But first you need to know a little more about us.

        Where be the mention of wearing utensils from ye galley?

  6. Bill says:

    I live in Montana. The Department of Motor Vechicle policy says,

    Policy: Motor Vehicle Division employees are instructed that “[a]n applicant’s full face must be visible when
    photographed. We are prohibited from taking photos of applicants while they are wearing a hat, scarf,
    sunglasses or veils with the exception of 1) medical purpose or 2) religious practices or beliefs require them to.”
    However, clerks are instructed “to record in correspondence the reason for the head covering. (i.e., medical or
    religious beliefs).”
    Source: Montana Motor Vehicle Division. Field Operations Policy Manual, n.d.

    As a devoute pastafarian, may I state that my religious practice or believe requires me wear a pasta strainer or is the strainer optional? And yes, yearly I honor his Noodlely presence with al dente spaghetti and tender, may I say compassionate, meat balls.

    • Rev. Frederick J. Smith says:

      t would start out Al Denete and end up Most tender, For the tender shall inhearet the EARTH

  7. Bill says:

    Opps. That should be “devout” without the “e”. I’m thinking the Montana Pastafarian does require it for those born on a certain date.

  8. Bill says:

    O my Noodleliness! Had I just read the text here before me! “May His NoodlYness Touch the Unenlightened that they become strengthened by Protein, and that the Colander takes its true place not only among the world’s great head garments of faith but on the photo of every Pastafarian driver license holder!” The epistle of url “https://www.venganza.org/2013/02/the-colander-in-his-admiration-aaron-williams-acknowledges-nj-licencing-laws/” is clear. May Thy holy Colander cover the faithful bearing witness to how thus reason is strained from boiling waters of falsehood!

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