The Colander In His Admiration: Aaron Williams acknowledges NJ Licencing Laws

Published February 21st, 2013 by Wayne

The Holy Colander, blessed of His Noodlyness because He Boiled for Us inside it, has once again confirmed its rightful place among the Holiest of religious head garments!

Aaron Williams, an Egg Harbor NJ Pastafarian and Sauced Beyond Marinated, has paid tribute to the just Licencing Laws of New Jersey and honoured Lord Glob by wearing the Holy Colander for a renewal photo. Joining Niko Alm with the desire to etch his devotion to the One True Monster in perpetuity, Aaron insisted that the Colander did not breach the Licencing Law.

Despite Aaron Spreading the Truth, the Unenlightened, dedicated as they are to the Law of New Jersey, were compelled to refer this Holy Matter to the State.

Here are some excerpts of  Aaron’s Epistles of Enlightenment to the MVC from the original South Brunswick Patch report written by Davy James:

“What we deem as different or embarrassing is different from what another individual deems as different or embarrassing, in terms of religious practices,” Williams told Patch on Tuesday.

“Had it been a turban or a head scarf, or something from a mainstream religion, then it would’ve been fine,” he said. “I guess since they hadn’t heard of the religion, that’s why they opposed it. But that’s not really acceptable to me. They’re not in a position to discriminate against religions that are mainstream, or not mainstream, just because they may not have heard about it.”

“The people there were very polite, but I’d like to have better training for their employees, so I may be looking into some way to educate their employees on their own policies,” he said. “I feel like after I expressed my opinions and beliefs they were definitely more accepting. I was met with hostility at first and they were asking me what my problem was.

“I didn’t have a problem, they had the problem. After I expressed myself, they realized I wasn’t just some crazy person, but they still didn’t let me wear the strainer for my picture.”

Here is a link to Davy’s original article.

May His Noodlyness Touch the Unenlightened that they become strengthened by Protein, and that the Colander takes its true place not only among the world’s great head garments of faith but on the photo of every Pastafarian driver licence holder!


(Thanks to South Brunswick Patch and Davy James)

92 Responses to “The Colander In His Admiration: Aaron Williams acknowledges NJ Licencing Laws”

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  1. Rev. Wulff says:

    As a faithful Ministrone in the church, I admire and support Aaron in his attempts to force our government to recognize the legitimacy of our faith. However, I find that wearing a pirate hat invites more curiosity and dialog from onlookers, and fewer concerns about my mental health.

    And speaking of the chosen-ones, the Pirates, a friend of mine has started a pirate-themed blog, with the intent of educating and providing a new perspective on the Golden Age of Piracy. Give it a look at:


  2. Sticky says:

    It’s no wonder that his religious headgear was not deemed legit by the powers that be. Nobody takes Pastafarianism seriously. Why? Because it ain’t a real religion until somebody spills blood over it.

    Solution: We need some competing sects to battle it out to get Pastafarianism the ‘spect it deserves. With that in mind:

    It has been said that the FSM got drunk when It created the universe, hence the imperfection. I disagree. I assert that the FSM was not drunk. Instead, he threw the universe against the wall to see if it would stick, to determine whether it was finished or not. That impact created the imperfections we see in the universal order of things.

    We have our competing sects, now we just need to fight about it. That’s gonna be the hard part, obviously. But still, I feel this is the most expeditious plan for getting us our funny drivers license pictures.

    • Noodles says:

      I believe the boiling was just a right of passage for a young noodle. He was digested for your sins. He raised up 33 to 47 hours later in slightly different form.

  3. Rev.Dr.Jo. says:

    Our Lord Noodles chosen people are PIRATES how many pirates went to sea wearing colanders?
    (voiced the same concerns about Niko Alm)

    • Rev Ubi Dubium says:

      Perhaps there is a scripture reference in the Loose Canon specifically recommending colanders for DMV photos. Or there is about to be a scripture reference. That’s the great thing about having a true living scripture, you can always write new bits when you need them.

    • Keith says:

      In ancient, mediaeval and renaissance times, some pirates would have worn helmets. Since the helmet is basically a piece of headwear composed of a bowl of metal (yes, I know helmets were made from other materials too), it is not too much of a leap to say that colanders are helmets with holes in. The act of wearing a colander links a kitchen symbol of the divine FSM with the ancestors of His/Her bandana/tricorn wearing worshippers.

  4. stylusmobilus says:

    The question of the Colander’s place in our religion is indeed becoming a point of discussion. The debate ranges from the points that the Pirates Hat is indeed the true head dress of the CotFSM, to the fact that He did not truthfully boil in a Colander but indeed it was a pot (a very Orthodox view, but nonetheless true as written in the Gospel) and invites competing sects to duke it out as all influential non-religions do.

    I stand with acknowledgement of the Colander, I believe that despite the Orthodox view He was still boiling when placed within, and indeed I have Boiled His Sauciness myself in a colander-pot combo. Having said that, if I were personally to wear Pastafarian religious head wear in acknowledgement of His Noodliness I too would choose the Pirate’s Hat, as it is like The Most Reverend Wulff Epasts above.

    Both are worthy of recognition among the great religious head garments. I see no reason at all why we cannot have two, as the other non-religions have seen fit to take and have more than one, the one True non-religion should have two too. Pesto Be Upon Aaron, for wearing religious headwear in line with State law, and inviting militant sectism within the Church!

  5. Faithful Ministrone says:

    We must push for our rights as devout Pastafarians and demand that the oppressive DMV’s allow us our headgear!

  6. Criswell Weatherman says:

    No! No! No! I am compelled to speak AGAINST this! Did not our great prophet Bobby Henderson say that full pirate regalia was proper Pastafarian garb? And did we not rise up together when Brian Killian was suspended from school in 2007 for wearing full pirate regalia? But wearing a colander on your head? How dare they depart from Fundamentalist Pastafarian values? I tell you, it’s the “Colander Agenda” and I say it’s DANGEROUS!

  7. TiltedHorizon says:

    Seems we are in the news again. Brother Aaron’s actions has caught the eye of Fox News, who feel we are “mocking” them.


    • Reverend Captain Mal says:

      Well I’m convinced. Sorry guys, I’m gonna have to call it quits. I just can’t stand up to that kind of argument.

      Damn, is my sarcasm font broken again? I’m actually quite upset. I mean, he gets the point, but he’s got us all wrong. We’re not mocking religion in America. We’re mocking religion everywhere.

  8. winter says:


    Sign the petition to protect Pastafarian rights.

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