FSM and Raptor Jesus

Published June 30th, 2012 by Bobby Henderson


Check out this portrait of the FSM and Raptor Jesus.  I notice RJ is giving the shocker. 

Artist Firell created this piece — more can be found at her site here.

Note — We believe Firell’s work is based on this original piece by Adam C. LaMonica:

You can see more work on his DeviantArt page here.

82 Responses to “FSM and Raptor Jesus”

  1. Epilare says:

    I see meaballs and spaghetti.Religion makes me hungry!

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  3. Tom McLachlin says:

    After an exhaustive search of world denominations I have determined the the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, sauce be upon him, is the right one for me. I have been impressed by the interspecies acceptance as evidenced by Raptor Jesus.

    One question troubles me: Is the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster being torn apart by interdenominational conflicts? Do the Marinara and Alfredo branches get along? How do they feel about smaller sects such as the Pestoists? Is there conflict over which type of rum may be used in communion: Dark, light, white, or spiced? Does it matter which eye I wear my patch on? Ok, that is more than one question but work with me here.

    We have all observed such tiny details in other world religions blow up in to hatred, chaos, and bloodshed. I have not observed such conflict yet in the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, but I am on the outside looking in. Figuratively speaking, I am not interested in hopping from one frying pan into another.

    p.s. I like all kinds of rum as well as both Marinara and Alfredo sauce, but Pesto can give me gas. I just don’t want to offend any of the branches.

    Sauce be upon you,

    • SillyKiwiMan says:

      We are an inclusive lot, we celebrate the different interpretations of our faith.

      That and we’re too lazy for arguing with our own. There are plenty of other battles, why pick more?

      The only thing that we can all agree on is that tinned spaghetti is an abomination. It says so in the Loose Canon. Having said that, it can be convenient when going bush (I don’t like baked beans, and even if I did I doubt the Wife would let me near them).


    • Cap'n Grey Beard says:

      We have an unfailing method of mediation. The warring parties sit at a table and the one who can drink the most grog is right. This works extremely well as the morning after no one can remember who won or often what the argument was in the first place. We therefore declare everyone was right and have a beer to clear our heads.

      Welcome to the true faith.

      May the sauce by with you.


  4. the sauceror says:

    this is now my background.

  5. Alma says:

    Flying Monster???? WTF!

    • Keith says:

      What is wrong with a flying monster? Lots of monsters have the ability to fly.

    • Cap'n Grey Beard says:

      You think a grey bearded man in the sky who is divided into 3 parts and has an arch nemesis who, although he is omnipotent, hie is unable to destroy sounds more feasible?

      • Keith says:

        Like so many other drive by sneerers, Alma did not give sufficient information for a discussion. She didn’t even indicate if she was referring to our Lord and Savoury. For all we know she may indeed think that all gods are a ridiculous idea. Alma, if you are still hovering around our site waiting to blast us with some more of your wit, please let us know what your religious convictions (if any) are: then we can actually have something that resembles a discussion.

      • Fat Bastard says:

        Alma, Cherubs, Unicorns, Wright Brothers and birds can fly. Why not Monsters? Were you there and saw one not fly?

        • Cap'n Grey Beard says:

          Unicorns?!? They don’t fly. That’s pegasus.

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          Pasta Cap’n, have you seen unicorns that were unable to fly? A surfeit of rum and they do.

        • Keith says:

          Laidy Rainicorn can fly. Just watch “Adventure Time”.

        • SillyKiwiMan says:

          I was under the impression that unicorns shit rainbows, thus generating thrust. No?

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          With perfect timing and authority, my latest Viz shows a unicorn getting airborne by exactly that method.

        • Keith says:

          So, Captain Birdseye: what are the chances of Roger Mellie hosting “Top Gear”?

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          Keith, with a ten-fold pay rise, Roger would be perfect for Top Gear. I think he may have already done an episode. Roger’s Thesaurus is essential for the proper use of English.

        • Keith says:

          Cap’n: It wouldn’t surprise me if he has. He was on “Antiques Roadshow” and I daresay he’s been on “Time Team”. I haven’t bought Viz for a couple of years now.

      • Cap'n Grey Beard says:

        If you’re u look for a the “squaty potty” advert you will see that they shit ice cream.

        But they DON’T fly. A flying horse is a pegasis.

        Lore must be respected. Do not soil LORE. We must incorporate it.

        Christism has been sucessful because it assimilated the religions of conquered races.

        The halo fron Mazda, peace for all from Budda, equating all their gods to greek mythos. Some how incororating the jewish god johova who is cleary NOT the god of the gob of the new testament. https://www.venganza.org/2016/02/netherlands-recognition/comment-page-6/#comment-5483745

        • Keith says:

          Cap’n Grey Beard: thank you for introducing me to the “Squatty Potty” advert. I thought at first that it was a skit from “Horrible Histories” but I don’t think they would cover the science of pooping.

        • Cap'n Grey Beard says:

          It a brilliant advert. And people i know who have bought one say its an fin miracle. However they are all ‘mercans who eat way too much protein.

    • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

      You’ve never heard of “fear of god”? Who better to strike fear but a monster? But in actuality, the FSM (pesto be upon him) is a drunken pussycat, not the megalomaniac Yahweh.

  6. Cap'n Grey Beard says:

    Haha we have been “drive by trolled”.

  7. Gnocchi Pudding says:

    Okay: Here’s this weekend’s Competition: I’ll be the judge. All submissions must be in before midnight, Sunday. The best answer will receive…..er, I’m still working on that one… Anyway, here goes: Complete:

    “Knock Knock.”
    “Who’s there?”
    “FSM who?”
    ……………………….. ( YOU supply an answer)

    • Gnocchi Pudding says:

      …… And the second part of the competition is that you must fill in the most imaginative answer to:

      “And the first prize will be: ……………………………”

      (Rasputin, will you please agree to be the Judge of this second part of the competition? That is, if you’re not too busy sitting at a mall coffee shop, engrossed with staring at womens’ arses.)

      • Gnocchi Pudding says:

        The reason I’m a Judge is that, should I submit entries, (an unfair advantage) – I would win hands down because men, (let’s face facts) are so…… stup…..er, intellectually disadvantaged.

      • Cap'n Grey Beard says:

        Sounds like a very laudable past time. Although i’m a tits man myself😎

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          You’d be wanting the booby-prize, Cap’n

    • Apprentice Frederic says:

      Ignoring all the stupid joke punch-lines (some of which start with “Argo…”), I’m gonna go with “FS Embolism, I’m probably dead”; for first prize, I’d like to get “A replica of Davy Jones’s locker”.

      • Gnocchi Pudding says:

        (Competition Entrants may also state what they would like to receive as a 2nd prize, and also what you’d like – should you win 3rd prize :)
        (Rasputin, your prize choice(s) may not include the words ‘bun, rump, bum, arse, buttocks, posterior, etc.)

        • Apprentice Frederic says:

          The 10-th Commandment says that we must not covet our neighbor’s ass – I’m sure that Grigorii Yefimovich, being some kind of Catholic, will fall into line….

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          AF, I thought that was the Tenth Amendment.

        • Apprentice Frederic says:

          Cap’n B., you could be right, I’ll hafta check. The founding fathers forgot about slavery, and *that* had to be amended. Likely they forgot about ass, too.

    • Fat Bastard says:

      The correct answer should be: “FSM whom?” (‘whom’ being the object of ‘who’). Attempting to cheat, the Judge tortures the Language.

    • Keith says:

      eFfing SeMolina, because it is used in both puddings and pasta.
      The first prize will be a bowl of pudding dropped by a WTF flying monster.

    • Cap'n Grey Beard says:

      I represent that remark!

  8. Cap'n Grey Beard says:

    FSMbarmer. Your time on earth is up!

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