Rebecca’s FSM Inspired Valedictorian Speech

Published July 2nd, 2011 by Bobby Henderson


Seniors in my high school are allowed to paint a mural on the walls of the art room at the end of the year, and I chose the flying spaghetti monster. I also mentioned the flying spaghetti monster in my valedictorian speech. I’ll include it in the email. I hope the mural lives up to the image of his noodly appendages. 

Valedictorian Speech Below

Hi, everyone. Before we get our diplomas, I want to tell you all a short story. The story of an art project I did. At the end of the year, each senior in art is allowed the opportunity to preserve themselves in a mural on the walls of the art room. I decided I wanted to paint one. The only question was what would I paint? I considered pop culture references and inspirational flowery messages of hope, but ultimately, I decided on something I thought was strange enough to inspire interest and maybe a few people could look at it and see something uniquely for themselves. I chose the flying spaghetti monster. For those of you who don’t know, the flying spaghetti monster is the emblem of the “pastafarian” movement, which is a rather silly group that questions the validity of blind acceptance, instead promoting logic. I did not choose the flying spaghetti monster to make a political or religious statement. To me, the flying spaghetti monster represents an ideal I think is being undervalued in our society—the ability to laugh at things that are ridiculous, and more importantly, the value of being ridiculous and silly. A thing does not have to be serious in life to be important. I think that that’s something I never really understood before. The importance of being unapologetically ridiculous, the joy that humor can bring, the profundity of absurdity; it’s all so clear to me now. The outlandish can instill wonder and happiness. What better reason is there for art? And so I painted the flying spaghetti monster, hoping that someday, someone would find in it a muse of silliness for their own life, something to tell them to be novel and unafraid to take chances.

If I could offer you all one bit of guidance from my life to your own, whether you are going to work, college, or the military, it would be that when life gives you the chance to go on an adventure, always take it. It doesn’t have to be the literal road trip, or journey-through-the-jungle-kind of adventure. It just has to be something new. And it doesn’t always have to be a place. An adventure can be a job, or a class, or a person. Always remember to push yourselves out of your comfort zones. Most of my regrets from high school have been not going on an adventure because I was too afraid of failing. And I don’t think I’ve ever regretted an adventure either, even if it rains, which usually does happen. It’s taken me a long time to understand this, but living in the moment doesn’t have to be a bad thing. The realization that absolutely everyone dies and that this single day will mean very little in the larger scope of my life has allowed me to let go a bit. Relinquishing those fears that we bear as shields over our hearts is never easy, but well worth it, however uncomfortable it may be.

So, as we walk into a different stage in our lives, I encourage you all to improvise, to sample everything, to search until you find a dream, and fight until that dream is realized. Remember to search for wonder, and every now and again, let curiosity get the best of you, for it’s the only way to continue to grow, and always keep your heart and mind light. In the words of a great playwright and my favorite author, “Life is too important to be taken seriously.” Stay gold, everyone."


73 Responses to “Rebecca’s FSM Inspired Valedictorian Speech”

  1. Big Guy says:

    she in a high school student people, children are always rebellious don;t read to much into her letter.

    • TiltedHorizon says:

      And she is a valedictorian. Which means she she does not fit archetype of rebellious. You just don’t like the message and as usual, you offer no valid arguments against it’s message.

      Kudos to Rebecca for putting meaning into words, jeers for Biggie for putting words without meaning.

    • Drained and Washed Clean says:

      Her speech made more sense than anything you have written on this site.

    • His Wholyness the Cook says:

      You must be a “Christian”. They like to intimidate and attack with petulance when they do not get what they want. The tone and manner of your single sentence makes you appear younger and less mature than the young lady you are trying to disparage.

  2. Big Guy says:

    We had a female evaledictorian @ University who disparaged a federally elected MP the Dean & herself during a very uncomfortably long speech. Kent state U rights G8/20 summit riots all young students advocate groups representative of today’s rebellious youth.

    • Drained and Washed Clean says:

      What caused you to hate women so much? Your mommy? Grammy? You have some deep seeded psychological issues (especially since you feel the need to upstage a 17 year old female who just accomplished a very big thing).

      • Spammyboy says:

        I’m assuming by this post that you saw some kind of meaning in that sequence of words… Well, you’re a better reader than me

        • Drained and Washed Clean says:

          I actually just based that on assumptions made by putting together words I could read. Female, disparaged, uncomfortably… And just knowing Bigot is… well… a bigot :)

    • tekHedd says:

      Wow, does the FSM bother you so much that you can’t stop posting? I’ll say it again: counseling.

    • Bhevarri says:

      Okay seriously, please just get a decent grip on the English language. Please. Really. Punctuation. You MIGHT look SLIGHTLY less unintelligent, maybe.
      I don’t even care to address anything else, just… really, dude. You’re a moron. Stop.

    • Encyclodpedia Brit says:

      I’m shocked that he believes he attended college. Is this a delusion? That must be it you guys, its been there under our nose all the time. He’s deluded. We probably need to figure out where he is and have him committed so he will no longer be a danger to himself and others. It really is the right thing to do. We are humanitarians after all.


  3. Big Guy's a tosser says:

    When will the so called Big Guy realise the no one give a shit about what he has to say and stops trolling our site?

    • TiltedHorizon says:

      We fill a void. He needs to talk with someone he can’t see who will actually answer him back, unlike god, jesus and the holy spirit who have yet to say anything.

      • Big Guy says:

        by virtue of your participation in the impostors chiding you’ve already sealed your fate. You can’t claim the higher ground now.

        • TiltedHorizon says:

          That’s ok. This is the third time in our discussion that my fate has been sealed according to you. This threat lost what little meaning it had two ‘fate sealings’ ago.

    • Big Guy says:

      where did you crawl out of?

      • Big Guy's a tosser says:

        The primordial swamp, the same place as you Big Twat

    • stopfeedingblisterfingers says:

      Here’s the problem…everyone is responding or imposting, and therefore it looks as if we do care. Stop feeding blister fingers, just click thumbs down, grey him out, give up the duplications, just don’t respond. He will eventually go away.

      • Brap Gronk says:

        4:22 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMfkVGCU_BA

      • tekHedd says:

        I cite John Gabriel’s Greater Internet F***wad Theory:


      • Spammyboy says:

        That’s not the only place he’s getting blisters, with all this hot, sexy attention…

      • TerryDarc says:

        rAmen, sisters and brothers. I think about half the intensity of the currently dimmed posts would make that easier.

  4. Jooby says:

    Awesome! I loved it.

  5. Pesto says:

    Great job, Rebecca & congratulations on your graduation! It’s good to see young people willing and able to think for themselves. Gives me hope for the future. :)

    • Big Guy says:

      for herself or her parents?

      • Pesto says:

        “Big Guy”, you really are a pathetic little worm. I would feel sorry for you being so stupid if you weren’t also so vile and hateful. Get a life!



        Either Big Guy is putting us on, or he’s as mentally disturbed as he sounds. Either way, we’ve wasted too much time on this moronic troll. If he stops getting a reaction, he’ll eventually leave. Don’t feed his ego.

  6. Big Guy says:

    Salvation is to important not to be taken seriously

    • Drained and Washed Clean says:

      Can you prove that with more than with stories of fiery pits from a book of fables and mythology?

    • Bhevarri says:


    • Simon says:

      Should that read “too important”?

  7. Aset says:

    Best Speech Ever!!!!!!!!

  8. Atsap Revol says:

    @Big Butt,

    I’m sure you can’t appreciate that Rebecca’s valedictorian’s speech is written using excellent spelling, punctuation, and grammar. You wouldn’t recognize good spelling, punctuation, and grammar if they bit you on the ass. Even more importantly, the message contains coherent thoughts and conclusions. Instead of criticizing Rebecca, you should praise her for skills and knowledge that you totally lack.

    You wouldn’t qualify as the valedictorian of a kindergarten class.

    I’m so happy that you learned how to use a gerund, CHIDING, in your most recent posts. I may give you more lessons in the use of the English language since you have demonstated a latent ability to learn. Maybe we can get you up to the kindergarten level if you’ll pay attention.

    Atsap Revol the Pasta Lover

    • Drained and Washed Clean says:

      He’s just jealous to be outdone by a 17 year old (and a female no less).

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