Did eyes evolve from meatballs?

Published July 16th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

After much thinking, I came up with a theory about evolution. Maybe our eyes evolved from meatballs, and our eyelashes were spaghetti!

– Jason


This theory sounds as plausible as some I’ve heard, but I am skeptical.  I know that we see the world through the lens of our religion, and even in matters of science we decide what is True by consensus, and that we are prone to accepting only what fits our already-decided ideology, but perhaps it’s time to demand more rigorous standards.  Or, dare I say it, accept the conclusions by the unGodly (FSM) heathens in academia.  Can there be some compromise?

Someone please set me straight, I think I am having a faith/reason crisis. 

92 Responses to “Did eyes evolve from meatballs?”

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  5. Capt. John says:

    I’m pretty sure that Evolution was faked by the FSM to test our faith. A good idea, but it has already been disproven by the priests and pirates of His Holy Tastiness.

  6. basicdesign says:

    What, so if I eat meatballs my eyesight will improve? Wthk didn’t you say so before!!!

    • Captain Birdseye says:

      Just don’t eat your own eyes by mistake, basicdesign.
      I read this morning that swabs taken from the surface of spacecraft contain diverse fragments of viral RNA. The new hypothesis is that life on Earth began when these alien fragments floated down, self-assembled (as they do) and a rapid biogenesis occurred.

      • basicdesign says:

        Are you sure you didn’t get it mixed up with satellite virus?

      • basicdesign says:

        “Just don’t eat your own eyes by mistake”: yeuk, squelshy.
        There’s Blind Io, whose eyes orbit around its head. It’s the one in danger of eating its eyes…

  7. basicdesign says:

    Mind, I’ve always thought there be some xtra-terrestrial stuff involved in the making of life down here. Seemed to me from the start that the dice would have had to have been given a wee push, the off-chance of it turning up just like that looks most extremely odd.
    There’s that book that says about making planets, layering various soils with the right kind of fossils at the right places for it to look like natural results of evolutionary processes. Including some such operators who deliberately introduce hitches in the plans, and later palaeontologists making knots with theories just to fit these hitches. I didn’t have to look further than my own family to see how truth is heavily manipulated so as to fit what their minds can accept. A lot of people build up an entire fiction that fits their views (provided they don’t look too far), rather than looking at reality. It’s dangerously mesmerizing to watch and darn easy to fall for it. Hypnotism, is what it is. And that’s another essential bit that society/ies need just to keep existing. I’d say, social evolution my arse, it’s always behind ; but then again it wouldn’t be ahead, would it.

    • Captain Birdseye says:

      Basicdesign, if fosils were placed to appear old or to simulate evolution, it would mean that the Christian god is a liar and deceiver.

  8. basicdesign says:

    90% of cells in the human body are non-human (http://jamesstivaly.com/articles.php?id=241). In the same line of thought albeit on another level, Earth creatures may well be made of 90% non-Earth bodies.
    Which is somewhat reassuring in that it would give us more chances to adapt to foreign thingies. Still needs a strong immune system, mind.

    • Keith says:

      When you go back far enough we are completely made of non Earth bodies. We are all the stuff of stars, so if you talk to a YEC about the beginnings of the universe and they come back with a smug “but were you there?” you can say “yes, we all were” .

      • Captain Birdseye says:

        Likewise, when a fudie quotes the Bible as fact, always ask: ‘Were you there’? Legalistic fundies will argue that eyewitness testimony displaces forensic evidence (or lack of) and answer: ‘No, but I know someone who was’, which requires a repeat of the question.

        • Keith says:

          That sounds very much like Ken Hamster and his “Observational” and “Historic” science bullshit.

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          Schlafly made the claim that, based on testimony, ‘God’ could be proven to exist in a court of law. I wonder why he never brought an action.

        • Keith says:

          Courts of law are very often just battles with words. The only things they can’t play around with are the Latin terminologies which have unalterable definitions.

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          Exactly, Keith, but fundies love equivocation so much I suspect they also bend the meanings of Latin words. The biggest mistake that fundies made was to call Creationism ‘scientific’, whilst ignoring the axioms of science.

        • Keith says:

          There was an amusing story in “Uncommon Law” by A. P. Herbert about a young barrister who confused the judge by pronouncing Latin in the correct manner. I daresay if you spoke Latin correctly in a Catholic church they would not have the faintest idea of what you were saying.

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          Keith, how do we know how Latin used to be pronounced?

        • Keith says:

          You’ve got me there. I haven’t the faintest idea. I seem to remember when I did Latin in High school that there were two forms of Latin: Church Latin and Germanic Latin. Germanic Latin was the correct form whereas Church Latin was influenced by Italian.

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          Old English pronunciation is gleaned from rhyming poetry. Many of our now silent letters (such as k-nife) used to be pronounced. Maybe Latin uses something similar.

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          Keith, did you by chance use Black’s Latin Primer textbook? My primary school Latin teacher just happened to be the Mr. Black who wrote it.

        • Keith says:

          I can’t remember very well what we used. One of our primers was “Legamus” but that was dumped halfway during the first year (I only did two years). I’m talking about something that happened 50 years ago and I did my best to forget about subjects that I was terrible at. Black’s doesn’t ring a bell.

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          I suspect enough sank in to still be useful. When in a foreign country and not speaking the language, I was surprised at being able to use pidgin-Latin with some people.

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