Did eyes evolve from meatballs?

Published July 16th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

After much thinking, I came up with a theory about evolution. Maybe our eyes evolved from meatballs, and our eyelashes were spaghetti!

– Jason


This theory sounds as plausible as some I’ve heard, but I am skeptical.  I know that we see the world through the lens of our religion, and even in matters of science we decide what is True by consensus, and that we are prone to accepting only what fits our already-decided ideology, but perhaps it’s time to demand more rigorous standards.  Or, dare I say it, accept the conclusions by the unGodly (FSM) heathens in academia.  Can there be some compromise?

Someone please set me straight, I think I am having a faith/reason crisis. 

68 Responses to “Did eyes evolve from meatballs?”

  1. Piratemom says:

    To quote His Noodliness:

    Hey! My EYES are up here!

    • Mark says:

      Can you prove that?

      • stylusmobilus says:

        Yep, look at the painting at the top of the screen. See where the eyes are?

  2. Steve says:

    Good gravy!…

  3. Son of Noodles says:

    I think we need a Holy Book. A divine revelation from His Noodleness! We can call it the Pastable.

    • TheAngel says:

      Good Idea! His Noodless told me to give it to a new Prophet! Who should it be??

    • wulff says:

      Um.. we HAVE a Holy Book? It’s called the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster? It’s available on the home page? Ringing any bells?

      • Drakenstien says:

        Yes wulff but most people don’t realize that the final version accepted by the church is missing many of the apocryphal gospels such as the Book of Al Dente and the Spiralicus. I don’t even want to imagine a split in the church over issues such as this. What would we do if all of a sudden there was a First Adventist Church of Pasta Rising. Or a Unitarian Meatball Assembly of FSM. We need to keep the church whole and tell all of the Gospel given to us by his Noodly Appendage.

  4. Mary B. says:


  5. Mark says:

    I found this on ThePirateBay, for those who dont know what that is, its a place where Pirates meet, share information about the FSM and other less important stuff, sharing is giving. I thought I should share after being given the The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, I did sensor and edit it a bit. But only a bit…

    Its circular logic you see.


    “Have a nice trip to Hell you Godless peace of Filth !
    You will see how funny it is when you suck Satan’s c*** in Hell . . .

    “I am the Way, the Truth and the Light and no one comes to the Father ( Heaven ) but by Me”
    Jesus Christ

    You don’t believe in Christ you are utterly fu**ed you son of a whore!”

    —- It goes on —-

    No joke here what so ever ! I meant every word i said although my message was delivered in a some what obscene manner .

    Unbelief, what ever the reason behind it, what ever the explanations that support it is a plague and its result is Death . Not only physical death but spiritual as well .

    “The reward of Sin is Death”, pure and simple .

    You can use your human logic all you like and come up with all sort of s*** , but it does not mater. You explanation for you disbelief does not concearn me, do not bother making stuff up. You can’t convince me of anything and you sure as hell cannot excuse yourself before Christ.

    You cannot bash the “philosophy of Christianity” in any way, what you can do and are doing is only giving the finger to Christ and tell him to basically go f*** himself. As He put it:

    “You are of the Father the Devil and the Lust of your father will do
    He was a Lier and a thief from the beginning and abode not in the Truth”

    And besides , phisophy is something that people make up, Christianity is not a philosophy but something totaly diferent.

    You may hurt me as countless of your fellow pagan dogs have done for millenia but you can’t do shit to Christ ! Try as you like , he will defeat you.

    “loving your neighbor ” refers to fellow believers not to you , we as Christians suppose to have no fellowship with the non believer.

    Buddy, what i believe does not mater for s***. If it makes you feel smart to say that I’m retarded , go right ahead . What matters is the Word of Christ , not mine ideas , not yours , not anybody else’s.

    “The Word is Spirit , the Word is Truth”

    All you will get from me is the word of Christ. You will answer before him for what you do with it. I believe that non believers will end up in Hell because that is what He tell me, I believe Christ.

    How is my faith different ? Simple: Christ is Truth , all else is Pagan idolatry (demon worship) and the vain imaginings of men (as in your case).

    The Bible is all you get. Arguing about circular logic or logic of any times is meaningless for a simple reason: supposing for the sake of argument that there is not a God then your word and mine word are equal , since there is no focal point, no fulcrum to balance them. In a world without a God we would call one another madmen no mater what the argument, for there is no Ultimate law. No Ultimate law means that any imaginable stupidity is potentially true. Your word against mine, circular logic indeed. In such a case all that would mater is POWER, who crushes the other first. Oh but:

    ” The heavens themselves declare the Glory of God ” and HE is on my side . I am not sending you to hell, He is .

    for the second guy :

    What the book is is irrelevant. There are two possibilities : it may declare the truth or Christ or call him a Lier. If you can prove that i am condemning the book for no good reason then i will retract my accusation .

    You believe that it is ridiculous to know the Truth ? 2 + 2 may equal 4 or something else, but not all at the same time. It is of absolute importance that we understand the Truth the we might be Saved, lies cannot do that.

    I did not quite understand what you meant to say about that layer but i might check it up.

    “He who has the Son (Christ) has life , he who has not the Son has has death and the wrath of God abides upon him.”

    • Mark says:

      Ah, there is so much more, for full content you can go to


      Here are a few extracts, this guy is quite smart

      “The Baboon is just not giving up is he? No matter . . . .he probably wants another banana. You suspect that a baboon would be a match for me? Ok , i am waiting, do bring one . . . .oh, i know . . .you C*** mother would make an interesting candidat . My offer to her still stands.”

      “Pray? Sure like i said: God kill this s***! You obviously take things out of context like a good little heretic, read the whole thing you C***!”

      “Are you sad you dirty baboon? Are you not fag friendly? Are you telling me that you are a fag yourself ? You are projecting on me your own depravity by accusing me of s*** . . . go right ahead do so, after all your kind are lying peaces of crap.”

      “My message to you is still the same :” Go f*** yourself” . I am getting such a trill out of cursing s*** heads like you . I though that you knew what ” c*** sucking ” is , been an ” liberated enlightened peace of s*** fag friendly liberal ” but apparently i was wrong. You will have to go and ask you mother, maybe she will let you watch. If that does not work out then you will found about it in hell.”

      • stylusmobilus says:

        I quote Mal when he commented to devilbloggger…

        “You owe me 5 minutes of my life and two aspirin for that”

        Keep the cursing up and you may go the way of other trolls who have disappeared. You never know.

      • stylusmobilus says:

        And I’d ask that you don’t .torrent the Gospel, please. That is helping us raise funds for our pirate ship and to maintain our ‘church’.

        It’s also theft of physical and intellectual property.

        • Mark says:

          I tried making a donation to your church but ended up loaning money to a farmer in Africa so he could buy some seeds.
          How do I sponsor the pirate ship?

          I thought that ThePirateBay was the creation of the FSM. However, do consider that .torrent does increase your exposure, many people wont pay to download the gospel otherwise. Just like pirate software increased the use of Microsoft products in the early days.

  6. The Don says:

    George………you referred to Richard Dawkins book ‘The Blind Watchmaker’ with an apparently missing sense of irony and a poor understanding of the original hypothesis. Dawkins has failed to factor into his argument the possibility that the watchmaker was not, in fact, blind but merely short-sighted. This can be explained entirely by the proposition that the eyes in question were actually meatball based pre-cursors of the latter-day eye.

    Your assumption that the writer has confused the FSMs eyes with his gonads is also lacking in logic; The depictions of the FSM you describe are based on artistic extrapolation (as the FSM has never revealed his true form) so it is quite possible that he has meatballs down below and gonads for eyes, or any other combination yet to be imagined.

  7. TROLL HEAVEN says:

    Troll, go to the website “t. rex ate coconuts.” Plenty of room at the end of the thread to post your pro-creationist thoughts. Many Christian supporters and atheists to interact with. You will love it.

  8. Ralf Muschall says:

    Since all recent species of FSM have fully developed eyes at the tips of the upper tentacles in addition to meatballs, the evolution must have been a bit different even if the ur-eye was a meatball. The first step would have been meat-ball-duplication (as described by Ohno in 1970), then one of the two copies could mutate independently and evolve into an eye.

    Otherwise, we would be stuck with the question “if eyes evolved from meatballs, why are there still meatballs?”.

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