Did eyes evolve from meatballs?

Published July 16th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

After much thinking, I came up with a theory about evolution. Maybe our eyes evolved from meatballs, and our eyelashes were spaghetti!

– Jason


This theory sounds as plausible as some I’ve heard, but I am skeptical.  I know that we see the world through the lens of our religion, and even in matters of science we decide what is True by consensus, and that we are prone to accepting only what fits our already-decided ideology, but perhaps it’s time to demand more rigorous standards.  Or, dare I say it, accept the conclusions by the unGodly (FSM) heathens in academia.  Can there be some compromise?

Someone please set me straight, I think I am having a faith/reason crisis. 

68 Responses to “Did eyes evolve from meatballs?”

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  1. Fiona says:

    Hmm . I think so, if some of the sauce from the meatballs was a part of it. The black olives became our pupils?

    • B. says:

      Sometimes, when we have been extremely drunk, He is there with us since He also likes to get drunk. Then the ceremonial tomato sauce of His Noodliness seeps into our eyeballs, making them read (and somewhat hurting).


    • rationalone says:

      Yes I must arrgreeee. since our eyes are the portal to our mind. His noodleness saw fit to allow reflected and refracted light to be absorbed, questioned, and reflected on. These must surly gifts from the saucy one. Even the blind should be able to recognize this.

      • rationalone says:

        Correction disclaimer ” These must surly BE gifts from the saucy one.” Early morning mistakes should be expected from me after a good Saturday night’s drinking fest. R’Amen

  2. Sky says:

    It certainly does seem to be the case.

  3. wulff says:

    Completely off topic, but this is the most recent thread, so it’s likely more people will see this and respond.

    Can we go back to the old “Recent Comments” design? I preferred it when I could see what threads were being posted on.

    I now return you to your regularly scheduled comments.

    • Sky says:

      yes, i agree. i liked that old layout because i could actually check the topics i commented on.

    • wulff says:

      “Ask and you shall receive.” And now the listed posts include the thread. Thank you so much for the change.

      • wulff says:

        As long as I’m pushing my luck, might it be possible to add a slider bar to the “Recent Comments” panel so we could see more posts in it? During those times when there are many people posting, it could make it easier to see whether or not a specific post has been responded to.

  4. StJason says:

    Awww…. Poor Big Guy. Got banned so spent a weekend learning to hack the system so he can thumbs down everyone else. Must hurt to be so needy.

    • rationalone says:

      I BELIEVE HE OR IT “the TROLL” is still around. IT has changed it’s name to insult our intelligence.

    • Cap'n Flint says:

      Troll has nothing better to do with his/its life.

  5. Keith says:

    It makes sense on the surface but the FSM already has eyeballs so he/she only needed to impart them to us. There was no need for independent evolution.

  6. rev aioli says:


    This is getting silly. Please check your sauces.

  7. hotclaws says:

    The ayes have it,

  8. theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

    But eyes are proof we are divinely created, and we were made in God’s image, but we can’t see as well as a pigeon, so therefore God’s eyesight is less than a bird’s, so therefore God is not perfect, thus he is not a god…whew! Let me catch my breath here.

    Let’s take another stab at it. Eyes evolved, and we don’t need sight as good as a bird’s because we really didn’t need it, just as the pigeon didn’t have to be as smart as a human. Now, if someone wants to put god in the equation here to make themselves feel better, fine. But he’s either in charge of, or entirely missing from, evolution.

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