A (Recovered, Historically Accurate) Tale of the FSM

The ship tossed around the open sea, as the pirate crew spun franticly.
“OH LORD, WHAT HAVE WE DONE TO UPSET THEE!?” They cried in utter misery.  But alas it was to late, the followers had met their fate.

Although all stressed, they would confess that they knew this mess, was their own fault.  If they wished to be caressed, by his noodlieness, then why did they do less than expected?

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They always dressed in pirate attire and blessed their meatballs before they chewed.
But the pirate’s mistakes were in their fates as soon as they entered the temple.
In the town of Noodliopia, the holiest utopia, where only Pastafarians roamed, was a lovely old man, his hair neatly combed, who was the meatball messiah.

In all of their greed the pirates agreed, that Noodliopia had much potential.
They schemed and gleamed as they cleaned their swords, ready to raid the temple.
Although in a rush, they came in a hush, not wanting to wake Captain Jones Eliah (the meatball messiah).

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Soon they had reached, the place they would breach and started to enter the temple.
But then out of nowhere, they heard a loud screech as if there was water boiling over.
They looked up to the sky as hot water rained down and the town was covered with meatballs.

The people ran out and Eliah did shout “Alas you ass, you have woken the lord!”
The Flying Spaghetti monster came down in a whirl and banished all of the pirates.
He sent them out far on a horrible quest to find the biggest octopus (It was never found).

Then Captain Eliah, the meatball messiah pleaded to thee “You have touched me with your noodly appendage, let you do so to our dwelling.  We need some protection and thou art our leader, so please save us now.”

The Lord was wise and did rise to muster his strength, and with all his great power, he lifted the tower, that was engraved with scriptures.

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He lifted the temple and the homes of the followers and moved them to a safe place.
Now Captain Eliah, the meatball messiah, and all of his most loyal companions, live somewhere safe, to carry the faith, of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

Rewritten (originally written thousands of years ago) by Sammy, (13 years old from California)