You will never have a pirate ship they cost millions moron (hate-mail)

Published June 5th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

You are a fraud. It’s obvious to me that you don’t give a shit about you’re so-called religion. I am not even that christian but this site makes me sick. you have no right to start a religion or should i say cult.  People need to think for themselves they dont need to listen to your nonsense. I am not even that christian but at least they are trying to help people. What are you trying to do? make money and buy a pirate ship and fill it with strippers and beer?  That is the most stupid thing I ever heard. I hope the government shuts you down and takes you’re money. You will never have a pirate ship they cost millions moron.

Suck it,


1,473 Responses to “You will never have a pirate ship they cost millions moron (hate-mail)”

  1. brichr says:

    I disagree. Look at http://thefujifiles.com/2011/08/ill-have-what-shes-having-elisa-nalin/
    – Brianne

  2. NPH says:

    Twice this clown says hes not that Christian. Is that like not that stricken with downs syndrome or herpes? Don’t you pretty much need to be fully sold out to whatever religion you subscribe to?

    • Captain Birdseye says:

      NPH, there are some 30,000 different Christian sects, who call each other heretics. There seems little that they do agree on. Anyway, which sect defines what a ‘True Christian’ is? I suspect that monotheism is common to all, but, which god? How can they even identify their own god when, they can’t define it?
      Mike is a hypocritical idiot.

    • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

      “Not that Christian” means he has heavy doubts, but not the guts to come out to friends and family about them.

  3. jack says:

    I like how all the people writing the hate mail are Christian. Christian’s must get offended when people have different beliefs.

    • Captain Birdseye says:

      Jack, it’s been that way for millenia. At least they can no longer torture and burn people. I’m convinced that the Abrahamic religions, exploiting Stone Age superstitions, are a form of nationalistic politics, to define who is ‘in’ and who is ‘out’. They love having someone to hate/fight and only know themselves by doing so. Very tribal.

      • Rasputin says:

        Wise words, my captain.

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          Rasputin, the idea of ‘the outsider’ is a major theme in anthropology, in the same way that we can’t define ‘sane’ without defining ‘insane’.
          Obviously, possession by demons is the correct explanation for Christian intolerance.

  4. Jennatals says:

    Not only is this fine gentleman filled with rage and hatred for anything that has a brain or meatballs, he is also uneducated about the cotFSM, we do not want to buy a pirate’s ship, this group just originated from them. Also, grammar is the backbone of this nation and I will be DAMNED if I do not comment on how ridiculous it is you cannot tell the difference between your and you’re. Also if the site makes you sick why take so much time to send anything to it, thats a waste of your life and your lunch my friend. The government could not legally shut down the cotFSM due to the first amendment, “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof;”. And lastly, please take a chill pill Mike, the world needs you to calm down.

    • Karen says:

      (Should I point out to Jennatals that “thats” should be written with an apostrophe?)

      • Captain Birdseye says:

        Karen, there’s some Law that states that messages pointing out spelling mistakes always contain a spelling mistake.

        • JanK says:

          My objection is the implication that the only women on the pirate ship will be strippers.. There were are and always will be female pirates who also enjoy an occasional glimpse of a nice male bod…

          Other problem is I don’t like beer… But Ahoy Mates.. many pirates drink the wine of their choice, which usually must be cheap, but please no Mad Dog 20 20..

          Good sailing all

        • Keith says:

          JanK: The strippers would be whatever you want them to be. This has been discussed in the past, although you are not likely to have come across it. Pastafarians are a very diverse community.

  5. Xenolive1 says:

    The FSM, at least in my eyes, is probably homies with azathoth. azathoth isn’t exactly a deity as he does not ask for worshippers, (Cults don’t necessarily count, I could have a band of worshippers but my unacceptance of them does not make me a god…) so I’d assume that the FSM would be totally chill with having a giant, noodly bestie with his own orchestral band. (I now want to draw a photo booth style picture of the great FSM, his carbo-ppendages wrapped around Azathoth, nyarlathotep, yog sothoth, shub niggurath and Cthulhu. probably at the beer volcano summit (must be a gorgeous sight up there)

    • Xenolive1 says:

      on a second note, H.P Lovecraft was actually supposedly quite a partier! I have no doubts that he was touched by His noodly appendage. Lovecraft and dereleth are partying up in heaven right now, who knows what sort of trouble those artistic prodigies are delving in as the eons pass

    • Keith says:

      I’m not certain that you could illustrate them. My recollections of Lovecraft’s writings go somewhat along the lines of: “It was indescribable” and he then goes on to describe it in detail.

  6. Zeptacular says:

    Buying a pirate ship and filling it with strippers and beer is probably the most fun idea I or anyone else with a healthy sense of humour can entertain!!! I’m pretty sure governments in the west allow people to think and worship whatever the hell the like. Who is stupid now???

    Off I go to take the new ship out for a spin yeargh!!!!! :-D

    • Patroller says:

      You are simply an idiot.

      Disabled toilet.

      • Patroller says:

        I am simply an autistic psychopath.

  7. Rasputin says:

    Hey JanK, nobody’s forcing anyone to be strippers. It’s entirely voluntary. We’ll all get the chance if we die in the Faith. I relish the opportunity to expose my genitals in public whilst jumping up and down and making things flop around. Every time I’ve done it in the past I’ve always been arrested. Every time. Not fair.

  8. turner says:

    I find bits of other religion stupid but that doesn’t mean I send hate mail to them just because I find them stupid. I hope the government shuts you down I’m sorry to burst your bubble but have you heard of human rights (Everyone has the right to freedom of thought, conscience and religion; this right includes freedom to change his religion or belief, and freedom, either alone or in community with others and in public or private, to manifest his religion or belief in teaching, practice, worship and observance.
    — Article 18 of the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights)

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