You will never have a pirate ship they cost millions moron (hate-mail)

Published June 5th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

You are a fraud. It’s obvious to me that you don’t give a shit about you’re so-called religion. I am not even that christian but this site makes me sick. you have no right to start a religion or should i say cult.  People need to think for themselves they dont need to listen to your nonsense. I am not even that christian but at least they are trying to help people. What are you trying to do? make money and buy a pirate ship and fill it with strippers and beer?  That is the most stupid thing I ever heard. I hope the government shuts you down and takes you’re money. You will never have a pirate ship they cost millions moron.

Suck it,


1,447 Responses to “You will never have a pirate ship they cost millions moron (hate-mail)”

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  1. Dnuh says:

    Dear Mike,

    Please allow me to share an English lesson with you that a man taught me long ago.

    You’re a woman. This is your kitchen.

    You’re welcome.

    • Levi says:

      Mmmm… that English

    • just a guy who hates jesus says:

      Well said Dnuh, well said indeed

  2. Maurice says:

    Dear Mike,
    You say, and I quote “People need to think for themselves they dont need to listen to your nonsense. I am not even that christian but at least they are trying to help people.” Ok, well you listened to the Christian’s and their “nonsense”, so your just contradicting yourself. People though for themselves, and thought that they should become pastafarianists. And you think Christians “help” people, when in reality those “missionaries” are just forcing Christianity on poor people in oppressed countries. Thus proving your argument invalid.

    • Keith says:

      I think there are several types, or grades, of missionaries who help other people. The best type are those who genuinely care about others regardless of what rewards or punishments they believe in, and who don’t care what the people they are helping believe in. All they need to do is cut out the middle man and realise that they themselves are the ones doing the good works.
      The other end of the spectrum is those who insist that people pray for their sandwich and convert before they get a well dug for their village. Unfortunately the latter seem to attract the most attention and funding.

      • Captain Birdseye says:

        I agree, Keith. Having lived and worked in remote Aboriginal communities (mental health) the ‘traditional religious missionary’ is/was trying to ‘save’ themselves and ends up ruining the people they focus on, mainly by displacing traditional roles and making them dependent.

    • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

      “Not even that Christian” implies to me you lack the intestinal fortitude to stand on your own two feet and say “this is nonsense”. Believe it or don’t; straddling the fence shows you either don’t care about the subject or are afraid to say what you really feel.

      • SillyKiwiMan says:

        It’s a cosmic insurance policy. They don’t like the idea of following the rules that don’t suit them, hence the number of sects within the various faiths, but they like the idea of happily ever after.

        Hypocrisy is a common trait in religion. I like asking which passages in the story-book are rules and which are just suggestions. I often hear “god/ Jeebus/whomever forgives, so it’s ok”. I asked one guy who was fucking around behind his missus’ back, stealing etc. how he could claim to have moral high ground, just by believing in an invisible bearded cloud-daddy. He genuinely didn’t understand. For him, believing in the ridiculous was enough. He was one of the stupidest people I’ve ever met, however.

        I have never met a religious person who has been able to explain how we’re all “born into sin” reconciles with any loving god. Apparently we’re not capable of understanding. I’d at least like to be given a shot at trying.

  3. Jared says:

    “you hve no right to start a religion or should I say cult” Friend, we have as much freedom to start our religion as you clearly do writing this post.
    “People should think for themselves not listen to this nonsense” who said people have to listen to us? You don’t have to listen to us just as much as you don’t have to listen you your math teacher in the classroom.

    “But at least they try to help people” so you are instantly assuming pastafarianists dont help. That’s pathetic.

    Overall good message for people that know how dumb “Mike” is

  4. Emma says:

    Hmmmmm……you used a lot of incorrect grammar in your letter….seems you are not quite as thoughtful as you think……..

  5. Non-Believing Tom says:

    “people need to think for themselves..”

    Says the guy who’s had a story book forcefully inserted into his arse since birth..


  6. Jesse says:

    Dear Mike,

    I respect your opinion, but I do not accept the lack of respect that you have shown to the people of this religion. We all have a right to start a religion and think for ourselves. Believe it or not, many people seriously belong to this religion. Show some respect. Thanks.


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  8. Xtra ChEase says:

    I agree. You have to BUY your authority in this “church”. And seriously guys? A giant noodle monster?

    • Rev. Wulff says:

      Every priest, minister, pastor, preacher or any other name you want to apply to it has had to pay for their authorit, whether through seminary, divinity schooling, college education, etc.. All we have to pay for is the cost of the certificates. Pretty sweet deal compared to all those other suckers.

    • Apprentice Frederic says:

      Buying authority AND absolution is a long-established tradition in many “real” (LOFLMAO) churches, I believe. And “giant” does not apply to the FSM, who is omnipresent, omniscient, and omnipotent.

    • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

      Google the history of the Christian (Catholic) church and see how for hundreds of years priests, bishops, cardinals and even popes BOUGHT their way in their positions.

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