You will never have a pirate ship they cost millions moron (hate-mail)

Published June 5th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

You are a fraud. It’s obvious to me that you don’t give a shit about you’re so-called religion. I am not even that christian but this site makes me sick. you have no right to start a religion or should i say cult.  People need to think for themselves they dont need to listen to your nonsense. I am not even that christian but at least they are trying to help people. What are you trying to do? make money and buy a pirate ship and fill it with strippers and beer?  That is the most stupid thing I ever heard. I hope the government shuts you down and takes you’re money. You will never have a pirate ship they cost millions moron.

Suck it,


1,435 Responses to “You will never have a pirate ship they cost millions moron (hate-mail)”

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  1. dani says:

    He’s not even THAT Christian guys… He’s only a little Christian.

    • Apprentice Frederic says:

      He’s a little throwback – proof that evolution is right…

      • Sure Bob Sure says:

        Nah, he’s one data point for the theory that evolution can go in reverse.

  2. sd says:

    “you have no right to start a religion…”

    Uh oh, better warn Joseph Smith and L. Ron Hubbard :D

    • Modern Day Prophet says:

      Also warn Ellen White (7th Day Adventists) and Mary Baker Eddy (Christian Science). Also warn whoever started the Church of The Farting Chocolate Dude, if you can identify him or her. This proliferation of silly religions must cease. How can little kiddies sort through all the false dogma and come to know the logical dogma of the ONETRUEGOD?

    • Keith says:

      “Joseph Smith was called a prophet, dum dum dum dum dum!”

      • Joseph Smith says:

        Yes, indeed, I was a prophet. At least a million followers around the world recognize the truth of my prophesy. I had witnesses who saw the golden plates that I dug up in upstate New York. Besides, who else has founded a tabernacle choir as magnificent as mine?

  3. This is my name, yo. says:

    “you have no right to start a religion”

    Shall I reference the first amendment? You know, the one that says, among other things, that we as Americans have the right to worship whichever religion we so choose?


    • TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

      Makes you wonder how all the other religions came about. Like their god (for the most part), did they ALWAYS exist?

  4. Sure Bob Sure says:

    This hate mail really got to me. I’ve been in tears for hours … (sob) … no pirate ship?

  5. Lucas Adams says:

    Really funny stuff. He ducked when the noodly appendage reached out.

    • Non-Believing Tom says:

      FML.. I need a time out, my lungs hurt

  6. james says:

    well you see mike because this country is a great one and we have the freedom to openly worship religion that’s what happened and the government cant shut him down either nor take his money for that matter. and also FSM/pastafarianism is a nationally recognized religion meaning it is know by the united states government and you can claim FSM as your religion and wear a pasta strainer on your head to school well if you claim FSM as your religion its like wearing a Jewish Yamaka you have religious immunity so he really does have all the right in the world to start his own religion how do you think Buddhism and Shintoism along with Hinduism and all these other religions came into existence you must be 10 years old to have written this with your crazy ideals.

    • TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

      Which country are we talking about? Internetlandia? Pastafarianism is international. We have Aussies and Italians and Poles and Canadians and Americans and Brazilians and many others represented here, James.

      • Rev. Linguine says:

        Secterian greetings from Denmark: Although I fully agree with you I hasten to point out that you can actually well defend a US-centric mindset when speaking of our Holy religion: Just as the christians talk about Israel as the “Holy land” just because their Messyiah was born there of a virgin mother (yeah, right!), our liberator, who goes by the name of Bobby, is from the USA. So USA is the holy land of Pastafarianism !! (?) It is this sort of cool, logical thinking that sets our religion above the other, lesser religions, and of course high above science (actually just another religion).

        Believe! Just believe!

        • Atsap Revol says:

          Not only is our Messiah Bobby a US citizen, He is a graduate of Oregon State University located in Corvallis, Oregon. Just as a Muslim who has visited Mecca is addressed as Hajji, we should have an honorary title for Pastafarians who have made the pilgrimage to Corvallis. Perhaps “Beaver?” “Beaver Atsap,” I like it!

        • Keith says:

          “Leave it to Atsap” :-)

      • SillyKiwiMan says:

        Don’t forget us Kiwis!

        And for those who don’t know, the kiwi is a small flightless bird, native to New Zealand. The fruit was named after the bird. The first time I saw an American cooking show where they said to peel and dice a kiwi, I almost choked.

        • Keith says:

          For those who have read the “BC” comics by Johnny Hart the Apteryx is a Kiwi.

  7. james says:

    people should think for their own? people shouldnt follow his bs what about the strict rules in place by the catholic church what about the crusades where christians went and fought the muslims because they thought they shouldnt have the holy land look at the spanish inquisition where the church forced the conversion of muslims jews and other religions to Catholicism

    • TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

      ” People need to think for themselves”. Exactly why I converted from Catholocism to atheism to Pastafarianism.

  8. Max Ford says:

    Who the fuck does this guy think he is?
    “It’s obvious to me that you don’t give a shit about you’re so-called religion.”
    Pastafarianism is mine, and many of our lives!
    I should fucking shoot this guy!

    • SillyKiwiMan says:

      Don’t forget the “I’d really rather you didn’ts”. Shooting him lowers you to his level. Or possibly lower, as unpalatable as that may be. Just enjoy his idiocy, as it amuses his Holy Noodliness.

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