You will never have a pirate ship they cost millions moron (hate-mail)

Published June 5th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

You are a fraud. It’s obvious to me that you don’t give a shit about you’re so-called religion. I am not even that christian but this site makes me sick. you have no right to start a religion or should i say cult.  People need to think for themselves they dont need to listen to your nonsense. I am not even that christian but at least they are trying to help people. What are you trying to do? make money and buy a pirate ship and fill it with strippers and beer?  That is the most stupid thing I ever heard. I hope the government shuts you down and takes you’re money. You will never have a pirate ship they cost millions moron.

Suck it,


1,435 Responses to “You will never have a pirate ship they cost millions moron (hate-mail)”

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  1. Paul says:

    Ammmm…..I hate to burst your balloon, but I already have a Pirate Ship.
    I’ve also got some beer (but could always use more)….however, I’m short on strippers…..so if anyone else out there wants to help out, let me know…I’ve an opening for the position of First Mate!!!


  2. Dodger 944 says:

    Your just being a dick, no ones being serious about this it’s just a joke you clearly have something against people with a sense of humor but you seriously have to calm down

    P.s. they called morman Christianity a “cult”

    • Dodger 944 says:

      By the way anyone could by any boat and use it as a pirate ship. Moron.


    • PegLegRick says:

      Don’t they still call Mormanism a cult?
      I’m fairly sure it is…

      • TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

        Any religion is a cult until they reach a certain critical mass. I’m not sure what that number is. For example, Santeria would be considered a cult, yet they have over 50,000 followers. Maybe nowadays the number is a million. You can’t define a religion a cult simply because of the oddness of their beliefs. Every religion would then be a cult.

        • TiltedHorizon says:

          So basically, once a cult is popular, it’s a religion.


        • TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

          That’s right, Tilted! Early Christians were a small splinter sect of Judaism, early Protestants were persecuted heretics, and the first Mormons were run out of Illinois and Missouri.

          Look up the word cult, and it’s indistinguishable from religion. For example: “a particular system of religious worship, especially with reference to its rites and ceremonies.” Maybe there’s a fine distinction I’m missing there.

          A more definitive definition may be “a quasi-religious organization using devious psychological techniques to gain and control adherents”, but we could apply that to most religions, couldn’t we?

        • Keith says:

          My personal definition of a cult includes the concept of it being controlled by or based on a single person’s ideology, usually that of the leader. Once control is out of the hands of a single person it is no longer a cult.

        • TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

          In that case, the Roman Catholic church is at least a quasi-cult because of the strength of the Pope.

        • Keith says:

          Yes, that would be about right.

  3. Daniel says:

    “People need to think for themselves they dont need to listen to your nonsense.”

    Then why do all christians keep sending their children to church? Especially when they dont want to go. (Speaking out of experience, was forced by my parents to go to church till my 18th bday)


    • Atsap Revol says:

      Unfortunately, Daniel, your experience is that of many. I was lucky…my parents did not force me to go to church. I was allowed to be a freethinker at the earliest age. You are lucky that you were not brainwashed in your first 18 years to surrender to the paradigm of the church you attended. Good for you! The world needs more people like you.

      Atsap Revol

      • Bob says:

        more people like his parents*

        • Atsap Revol says:

          Bob, your meaning is not clear. Are you saying that the world needs more parents that force their kids to go to Sunday school and church? If so, I strongly disagree. The world needs more thinkers, not more puppets. Forcing kids to undergo brainwashing to accept a pardigm that has no basis in reality is misguided at best, criminal at worst.

          What is the asterisk for?

          Atsap Revol

        • Keith says:

          I was wondering what the asterisk was for: spent ages trying to find the footnote.

        • Dave says:

          I think the asterisk is to denote the fsm, as like the fsm, an asterisk has many appendages.

          I assume bob was interrupted by a crew member during that reply due to important pirate business and the rest of the comment was supposed to read:-

          ‘need to be converted to spaghetti monsterism’

  4. Kimberley says:

    Ahahahaha “I’m not even that christian”…. priceless!

  5. Autypmom says:

    The urge to be mean is soooo strong!! But alas, I erased it :( I will cherish the witty remarks I came up with for at least 5 minutes I think) :D

    This religion is AWESOME man…read it again. It’s so way better than that mean/creepy/disturbing/twisted Jesus stuff: Metaphorical cannibalism (gross!), self harm (flogging -ouch!), God-rape (yeah, you really think he had Mary’s consent?? metaphysical roofies is what I heard!!!), condoned torture and murder (waaaaayyyy to many to list), mental/physical/(and worst of all) sexual repression, vs. strippers, pirates and beer?!?!?!?! (actually I prefer liquor. I’m hoping HIS Noodliness will recognize my devotion and make the exchange.) There IS NO choice!!

    This is your eternal future my friend…be smart! Choose the red-sauce!!

  6. Dima says:

    Best. Hate Mail. Ever.

  7. Luke says:

    This is America bitch, our father died for religious liberty. The government will never have the right to attack an institutuion for their religion. American, fuck yah! BEASTIALITY

    • Keith says:

      This is not America. This is the internet and more specifically a website. Patriotic sentiments about America are meaningless to we “foreigners”.

      • PegLegRick says:


      • Dave says:

        Does this mean you understood the content of that comment?

        Unfortunately I only speak English, and am confused as to whose father died for (maybe even during?) religious beastiality. This seems to be a large omission in my historical knowledge.

  8. CaptainDanno says:

    I only wish to add to the fact that religion is only a religion so long as it is for its people once it stops being for its people and only for it’s self it is no longer a religion it is a cult. We are quite kind and give much candy to children, and hey if their happens to be beer and strippers involved the more fun. I just wanted to say the ideas of the Pirates of the Frozen Lake.


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