You will never have a pirate ship they cost millions moron (hate-mail)

Published June 5th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

You are a fraud. It’s obvious to me that you don’t give a shit about you’re so-called religion. I am not even that christian but this site makes me sick. you have no right to start a religion or should i say cult.  People need to think for themselves they dont need to listen to your nonsense. I am not even that christian but at least they are trying to help people. What are you trying to do? make money and buy a pirate ship and fill it with strippers and beer?  That is the most stupid thing I ever heard. I hope the government shuts you down and takes you’re money. You will never have a pirate ship they cost millions moron.

Suck it,


1,435 Responses to “You will never have a pirate ship they cost millions moron (hate-mail)”

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  1. nun ya biz says:

    but really how much of a difference is there between mass suicide & expecting the rapture, one is very passive the other not; no time 2 wait vs all the time in the world…HOW can options for PEACE b explored tho, when one of the major tenets of a religion is the COMING DESTRUCTION of the world as we know it..o well, may as well go 2 war, we r doomed anyway? maybe the destruction is actually supposed 2 b a DE CONSTRUCTION & RESTRUCTURUZING in a format which has NOTHING 2 do with explosions, literal death…just a thought,,,

    • nun ya biz says:

      Is there a difference between being well intentioned & truly kind?

  2. Irving says:

    WHere are the rules “on the right to start a cult” interested in reading them.

    • mark says:

      Yea, that is the most smartest argument I ever heard. I’m not even that FSM but this hate mail makes me smile. It’s obvious to me that you don’t give a shit about you’re grammar, mike. I hope you learn about how to write in school and they correct all of you’re grammar issues.

      • Olivia says:

        It makes me smile that you’re insulting this person’s grammar and writing in the same post that you use the phrase “most smartest” in.

        *your grammar


        *Your grammar (again)

        • bruceo says:

          Pretty sure mark was being sarcastic, Olivia. (Maybe you were doing the same when you ended your sentence with a preposition.)

        • English Teacher says:

          One should never use a preposition to end a sentence with!

  3. Friggin Dave says:

    Let’s try a more blunt approach then Mike. IT”S NOT REAL!! NONE OF IT IS!!! The spaghetti monster is a metaphor for your god! They are both just as ridiculous, the only difference is that one is high in starch and much tastier.

    • stylusmobilus says:

      Nor does He advocate genocide and he isn’t his own father!

  4. DVDA says:

    I just read somewhere that the pope said that using condoms helps the spread of AIDS. Maybe everything that Christians say is meant to be ironic, that would make a lot of sense!

    • Keith says:

      Makes as much sense as the pope declaring obscene wealth to be sinful. Hilarious coming from someone who belongs to the richest organisation in the world.

      • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

        The first attempted assassination of Pope John Paul II took place on Wednesday, May 13, 1981, in St. Peter’s Square at Vatican City. The Pope was shot and critically wounded by Mehmet Ali Ağca while he was entering the square. The Pope was struck 4 times, and suffered severe blood loss.

        Later the pope said that the Lady of Fatima had deflected a fatal bullet, which raises some questions.
        1. How did you know she was the Lady of FATIMA, and not the Lady of lots of other places? Was she speaking in Portugese?
        2. Pretty sloppy work, if she let you get shot 4 times. Why didn’t she point the gunman out to a policeman?

        • Keith says:

          I remember that. It was the reason for the introduction of the “Popemobile” It is rather boring compared to the Batmobile (especially then1960’s TV one, which can’t be beaten). Personally, I cannot see anyone with a name like FATima being taken seriously: perhaps the Verging on the ridiculous Mary needs to go on a diet: or was it the only way she was able to deflect a bullet?

        • nun sequitur says:

          let’s pope that does not happen again…

        • nun sequitur says:

          sorry..was attempt in line with ongoing effort 2 cultivate some sort of sense of humor…it is tragic the pope was shot ..& told it was mercedes that came out with the popemobile. if i were him shot, it would b i m guessing a really appreciated effort.

  5. nun sequitur says:

    what is this he was his own dad biz anyway?

    have a safe new year.
    if any1 is going the booze route, please have celebration @ your place or some1s so there is no drinkin & driving (bus & taxi work).

    i admit 2 not liking the taste of beer, which makes me a mutant in some parts & we r having sparkling apple cider, which proves we r freaks of the highest order, other evidence aside.

    it looks like beer.

    have a pleasant safe evening please.

    • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

      Jesus was his own dad. At least that was the consensus in the 4th century after centuries of haggling over whether Jesus was a) totally devine b) half-and-half c) all human or d) a fictional example of what we should strive to be.

      You’ve got to feel for Yahweh. Not many girls in heaven, except for dead humans, and it took millions of years for them to get there. Especially ones that didn’t drag their knuckles and be covered with body hair. So he had to sort of sneak up on Mary, a desert-dwelling child bride. Personally, if I were god, I’d have given her a shtuppin’ she’d never forget.

      • nun sequitur says:

        brain fart here on trying 2 conceptualize how this own dad stuff would go, the closest i can get thru my head is that episode where philip frye on futurama travels back in time via some anomaly & does or nearly ends up becoming his own pop pop,,,as he kept finding his known grandfather peeping @ a wall calendar consisting of beefcake (dudes), so frye, grew increasingly concerned he may fail to come into existence…etc.

        after a couple half revolutions, my brain shorts out on specifics of potentialities.

        i do not know y i can recall THAT but not important anything. ..

      • nun sequitur says:

        thefewthproud:…with the shtupping remarx.

        If i made a comment about how the god of that story seems like a rapist, it would not win me any points. So i won’t.

        About the primate referrence (or maybe cavelady, or both)

        Did i ever tell u about my trip to the zoo? I wont. But it was scary & kind of vaguely humorous @ the same time. Ive wanted 2 tell someone whom makes movies about it, to maybe serve as a warning to others…but it would probably get lost in translation…like everything else i say.

        • nun sequitur says:

          & i wasnt calling U anything..

          & ur point was meant 2 reflect opportunist @ work, not force, i know…

          talk about things likely to b taken out of context, ever hear of this book?:

          http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1617750255 .

          TALK about guarding against dissent! Look @ how they blocked out the word f**k with the flashbulb…wouldnt want 2 offend any1. go 2 barnes & noble & this is in stock in full view as it ought 2 b…but the fsm ‘bible’, not anywhere 2 b found..

        • nun sequitur says:

          & that prob ought not b read 2 kids…


          Im going…im leaving…

  6. Christopher W says:

    THANK YOU FRiggin Dave!!!!!

    Once again the folks, such as the athiest(ultra non believer) and the “hick” are missing is that none of this is real…Thats what you fail to get through that meatball sitting atop your shoulders. You rage and indifference is exactly thier point.

  7. tyler says:

    anyone else think that when we get the ship we should get it with like decals and turbo and make it fly

  8. Arie says:

    I’m interested to know the difference between hundreds of “legitimized” religions spending donated, collected or tithed income to build and buy things that their religions say they need for their own religious purposes and just all around way of life, yet FSM can’t have a pirate ship with strippers? Come on! Even the pope has a palace! No one complains about that… viva le pastafarians!

    Mike: Whether it’s an analogy or a true belief of some people in this world; the core of Christianity is to accept and love, for only god may judge… so yay! get over it. :)

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