You will never have a pirate ship they cost millions moron (hate-mail)

Published June 5th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

You are a fraud. It’s obvious to me that you don’t give a shit about you’re so-called religion. I am not even that christian but this site makes me sick. you have no right to start a religion or should i say cult.  People need to think for themselves they dont need to listen to your nonsense. I am not even that christian but at least they are trying to help people. What are you trying to do? make money and buy a pirate ship and fill it with strippers and beer?  That is the most stupid thing I ever heard. I hope the government shuts you down and takes you’re money. You will never have a pirate ship they cost millions moron.

Suck it,


1,435 Responses to “You will never have a pirate ship they cost millions moron (hate-mail)”

  1. spammyboy says:

    “I am not even that Christian” Oh, which one are you then?

    • excentric says:

      I was already laughing, but this just put me right over the top.

      • Spammyboy says:

        I deny that I am funny.

  2. puppygoogoo says:

    What if we owned a boat building company? then the ship would be free! sort of. Another person that doesnt read what this site is about before sending another poorly worded and formed e-mail. The S.S. Failship is sailing your way soon buddy. Best hop on.


  3. Lioss says:

    I’d like to know who gives the autorisation to start a new religion?Is there a kind of commity,or a stuff like that?
    It’s not a joke,I’m really interrested by your answer Mike.

  4. Luis says:

    “I hope the government shuts you down and takes you’re money” Yes, indeed you are money :-), buy me some beer please.

    • JK says:

      I prefered “you don’t give a shit about you’re so-called religion.”

      • Brian Fritzen says:


        You are so Called! Sounds like something you would saying in poker. Or, is it: You are so called Religion? Is he saying Bobby is Religion? That would make it grammatically correct. So Bobby is Religion. Hmmm….. And since FSMism was revealed to Bobby, wouldn’t that statement, in fact, state that FSMism is Religion since FSMism’s prophet is Religion? Thus, are all religions just variations of the One, True FSMism?

        • Big Guy says:

          not even close to reality BF

          you and Booby your supreme leader are lost little sheep

          it isn’t to late to repent for your abominable sins

          salvation is what’s at stake… you would be remiss to deny the truth

        • Brian Fritzen says:

          ^^^ Oh, Gib, you never fail to fail.

  5. hotclaws says:

    There you go,perfect EU250,000 not millions.

    • ray says:

      Before we rent that ship, check to see if there’s a clause in the contract “expressly forbidding it be used for piracy/pillage or plunder”. I hear that if you break an Anti-plunder clause, it can be hard to get your deposit back.

      If there’s no clause, tho, we’re golden.

    • chadachada123 says:

      Honestly, we should really look in to buying this vessel. Fairly cheap, very large…it’s everything we could ask for, FSM be praised.

      • Rocketsauce says:

        The 6th I’d Really Rather You Didn’t explicitly asks us (Though no commandments!) not to build expensive churches or things resembling that. We shall have our Pirate Ships when we come to heaven!

        • Rocketsauce says:

          Though does not command*
          Sorry, I’ve been at school for almost 11 hours today ._.

        • Shongu says:

          Actually, the 6th I’d Really Rather You Didn’t only talks about building synagogues, churches, shrines, mosques, or temples. Never does it mention building/buying pirate ships. While pirate ships might be able to be considered shrines to the FSM, even if you go by that, it still doesn’t go against what he said. Instead, what he said was, “I’d really rather you didn’t build multi million-dollar synagogues/churches/temples/mosques/shrines to my noodly goodness,” So as long as the ship doesn’t cost millions of dollars, we should be fine. The FSM’s preferred creature is the pirate, which our Prophet clearly said here: “Pirates, as you know, are His Chosen People.” (The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, page 26). Global warming has rose ever since pirates began shrinking, shown in the Prophet’s first letter to the Kansas school board, so if we become pirates, it could be that we’ll have a positive impact on the world, decreasing the world temperature. It stands to reason, therefore, that by building pirate ships, we are improving our relationship with the FSM, and helping the world by getting rid of some of that Global Warming everyone’s talking about.

  6. Randy says:

    “What are you trying to do…….buy a pirate ship and fill it with strippers and beer?”

    He says it like it’s a bad thing.

  7. Jack says:

    “you have no right to start a religion or should i say cult.”

    Really? Tell that to Jesus, Buddha, Hubbard, Zoroaster, Confucius, Lao Tzu, Mohammed, Bahaullah, Nanak Dev Ji, etc.

    • Mariner says:

      “The only difference between a cult and a religion is the amount of real estate they own”

      –Frank Zappa

      • Spammyboy says:

        I can’t remember where I saw it, but someone compared cults to dogshit and religions to old, valuable dinoshit…

  8. opiesysco says:

    Hey Bobby, you need to start adding the email address for these idiots.
    That way we can email them directly and tell them how dumb they sound.
    A pirate ship costing millions, please…

    • Big Guy says:

      that would be illegal and this site is bordering on illegal as it is example attached below:

      @ Big Guy impostor: May 25, 2011 at 5:57 PM posted in You sicken me. “Yes, we make a great comedy act. Thank you for playing straight man. Show us that 140 IQ at work!”

      Your mining a dangerous game implying you work with me imposter. You’ve revealed yourself as a coward & more now get ready to face the music…

      how does law suit sound?

      from the one & only Big Guy

      • Brian Fritzen says:

        Bring on the lawsuits. Go right ahead. Love to see it. Sue me too. And NO, posting someone’s email addy is NOT illegal. You FAIL on so many levels, IQ Flunky.

        Gib, your utter lack of intelligence is astounding.

        You do realize that by continually posting your tripe you actually are giving Christianity a bad name. You represent the most ignorant of that Creed and any passing person interested in Christianity will, after reading what you say, know that Christianity is full of ignorant morons.

        So, as an atheist, I applaud your ability to repel anyone interested in following Jesus. You are helping to swell our numbers. Keep up the good work.

      • StJason says:

        Please do not feed the troll

      • midnight_rider says:

        Lawsuit for a violation of which law?

      • iFSM says:

        Bi-Guy’s back, just in time to relieve boredom with wit and intellect!
        But I know one whose noodle is greater…

      • Baby RAmen says:

        I’ll take a lawsuit as well!

      • Drained and Washed Clean says:

        It sounds like someone is scared to have their identity revealed. BG CLEARLY would not want anyone to know who he is or they may never speak to him again for being an idiot. He would be suing for pain and suffering for losing all his friends.

    • I'm Brian and so's my wife. says:

      It was only a matter of time before this impotent bellend started making idle threats about lawsuits.

      Your (not you’re) delusional hellfire and brimstone threats don’t scare anyone Big Guy, what makes you think laughably naive litigation will do any better?

      • TiltedHorizon says:

        Lawsuit? What happened Biggie? Did you just discover that praying does not work?

        • puppygoogoo says:

          or does god have a legal team? either way Biggie, your not going to win! Also who says you have sole rights to the name Big Guy? Last time i checked anyone can use it. So if you dont like the impostor……leave.


        • opiesysco says:

          This comment just made my day complete.
          Too funny.

        • Dr. Astronomer says:

          Can I be a fly on the wall of that conversation?

          BG: “Hello, police. I’m being harassed!”
          Police: “Ok, sir, do you know the location of this person?”
          BG: “Yes, on the internet!”
          Police: “This person is directly contacting you?”
          BG: “No they are on a web site.”
          Police: “Do they follow you from web site to web site?”
          BG: “No, just this heathen one.”
          Police: “Then why do you continue to go to this web site?”

        • Keith says:

          I doubt the conversation would get that far. After the second question he/she/it would probably be foaming at the mouth and falling over backwards.

      • midnight_rider says:

        Sue for what? Defamation of your lack of character? LOL.
        Sue for stealing your name Big Guy? LoL Is that on your birth certificate? LoL.
        Sue for trademark violation? Big Guy (TM) Dont think so. Besides I still have a fair use consideration nor do I make money using Big Guy in my posts.

        Well, you can hop in your airplane and fly your fanny down to my county courthouse because you can’t file that suit long distance. And take a number.

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