I spent a while thinking (hate-mail)

Published June 14th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

I spent a while thinking of a good reply to this, without sounding like some sort of inbred hick or perhaps maybe to get your attention. However, I realize that there pretty much is no way for that to happen, if you put this in your hate-mail section, I’ll probably be mocked just as much as the next guy, who put the stupid comment about how you could never buy a pirate ship. I’m OK with that, I just wish people will actually think about what I have to say rather then ignorantly mocking what I believe personally. Whatever may happen, I don’t really mind, except that I cannot bring myself to be silent on this issue.

I am a Christian, whatever you may think about me, or absurd assumptions you may have about what I look like, think like, or speak like, realize this, I think all beliefs should be treated with equality. Atheism, Hindu, Buddhist, Christian, Muslim, Agonist, Voodoo, whatever, I don’t care, if you believe that you are correct, then you have every right in the world to believe that with all your heart, and nobody should force you to believe what they believe. Now I also believe in open criticism of any of these religions, meaning your Pastafarian view that openly mocks religion. However, it is also my right to criticize the criticism, meaning though while I believe it is your right to mock, harass, and generally make religious persons miserable, I don’t believe it is morally right.

Atheism is a belief just as much as Christianity. Say whatever you want about facts and how religion is stupid and all those who practice it are all idiots, but it still comes down to the fundamental truth that you must believe this to be more true over the other option. I am again, completely fine with that, and that is why I love America so much, because we CAN believe differently then one another, and still live peacefully (to a degree) together. However, mocking is not the right way to go about arguing your belief.
By the way, here is the definition of mocking:

1. Tease or laugh at in a scornful or contemptuous manner.

2. Make (something) seem laughably unreal or impossible.

To laugh at someone else’s belief that they dedicate their lives to is not funny or humorous, but I believe is rather childish and immature. This is the main reason why I would much rather sit down calmly with an atheist and have a rational discussion about each other’s beliefs, instead of smacking them in the face with a bible, and shouting how they are going to hell for not believing the undeniable truth that is the bible, or worse, calling their belief idiotic and getting my group of friends together and laughing and pointing in his face.

Of course there are people that do this, hence, you, and there will always be people like you. My job is try to convince you to be rational and discuss each others view points.

I could never put myself in your mindset and read this the same way through your eyes. To you, I just look like another idiot who took this seriously and decided to write a concerned letter and waste his time trying to teach you to be respectful, but the truth is, writing this helps me put my thoughts in order anyways.

If you do have one ounce of thought for my beliefs, at least view this letter with respect, and try to think about what I am thinking when I read this:


What I am thinking is that the joke has gone to far. Of course this letter asks for intelligent discussion, and that seems to have never existed in your website, so before I go, let my put it in your language.

Fuck you, and lay off religion asshole.


2,179 Responses to “I spent a while thinking (hate-mail)”

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  1. Rasputin says:

    Je suis Charlie.

  2. Thundal says:

    > you must believe this to be more true over the other option.

    You might want to study up on some semantics, there, buddy… atheism is the default opinion in formal debate (assumption of the negative, lacking proof or evidence). It’s what you believe if you think all the options are bullshit… Unless you think that walking away from a buffet is a meal.

  3. TheMan says:

    Basically this dumb fucking idiot says that the FSM is unbelievably real.Do you realize how stupidly hypocritical this dumb fuck sounds?

    The Man,

    Touched by his noodly appendage

    • Excelsior says:

      I advise you to watch your language. We don’t want to see this wonderful Forum deteriorating into a cess-pool, Do you?

      • Rasputin says:

        Dear Excelsior, you’re right as always. I encourage the use of f*cking asterisks.

    • Rasputin says:

      Dear TheMan, There is definitely a God. Hundreds of millions of Jews, Muslims and Christians agree. The problem is that they’re all worshipping false gods whereas the Flying Spaghetti Monster is real. What’s difficult to understand?

      • Luiz says:

        I agree.

  4. Michael S F says:

    When will these people understand that atheism is not a belief like Christianity is? What color is clear? What kind of hair does a bald person have? What channel is Off?

    • Keith says:

      I’m certain they understand the difference but they refuse to let that understanding interfere with their own little world.

      • SillyKiwiMan says:

        The endless capacity for self-delusion of the religious never ceases to amaze me. I liken it to the friar in Erik the Viking as the waters rise. It’d be impressive if it weren’t so harmful and annoying.

        I’ve seen a priest cheerfully say “I know there’s no good reason to believe in this, and many good reasons not to, but I choose to believe anyway”. He seemed nice enough, but somehow we’re expected to respect such a position. THAT’S the bit that really pisses me off.

    • Mark says:

      Atheism absolutely _is_ a belief; the conviction that “there is and are no god(s)”.

      Agnosticism is the true absence of belief; “I don’t know”.

      • Apprentice Frederic says:

        @Mark, as you will find out shortly, there is a dimension of militancy that spans both atheism and religiousity, and maybe even agnosticism as well. I’m gonna have another (cold, fresh) beer and turn around and look back toward the stage where the strippers are all dancing to the glory of His Noodliness.

      • Excelsior says:

        Actually there is not much difference between Atheist and Agnostic.
        First of all let’s get this straight: No one has ever proved that there is any God!
        An agnostic says “Well, I don’t believe there is a God but I can’t prove that there isn’t one.”
        An Atheist says “These Theist geeks are crazy inventing something to worship! Most of these priests/Mullahs are just scamming the ignorant masses or using religion to mobilize the masses for their own profit. It’s not up to me to prove that their God doesn’t exist. It’s up to them to prove that their God exists! Is it my duty to prove that the Lord of the Rings or Santa Claus doesn’t exist?

        • Rasputin says:

          Athiests believe, “There is definitely not a God”. Agnostics say, “I couldn’t care less either way”. Both groups are hostile to our FSM, and they’re both wrong.

        • Excelsior says:

          Moderated: Pastifarianism is the only religion that doesn’t scam and we don’t have to prove that the FSM is real. If you like it here come and join us, we welcome everybody , including those that other religions condemn to hell!

      • Keith says:

        Mark, don’t confuse knowledge with belief.
        Atheism is simply the LACK OF BELIEF in any gods.
        Agnosticism applies to LACK OF KNOWLEDGE about gods.
        Atheists can be POSITIVE or GNOSTIC atheists, which means they do not believe in any gods and claim to know there are none.
        Most atheists are AGNOSTIC atheists, which means they do not know whether or not there are any gods and have not been presented with sufficient evidence either way. It is the logical default position. It is the same with fairies. Noone has shown for certain that fairies exist so most people in modern societies do not believe in them.

        • SillyKiwiMan says:

          My atheism, while at the slightly militant end of the scale, is born of laziness.

          I like your term agnostic atheism, I’d even go so far as to say it probably represents the majority of atheists. I do not know there is no god, there is simply no reason to believe in one. Having said that, I consider the choice to believe in something with all the validity of Santa to be stupid.

          The reason I say that my atheism is laziness is just because I refuse to believe in something without sufficient evidence, rather than trying to make good reasons up. Belief is easy. Many religious people I know just find it easier to follow the crowd, their family or are just plain-ol’ scared that when they take their last gasp, that’s it. To follow may seem easy, and in some ways it can be. I find it easier to sit by the river and watch the bodies of the arguments of my enemies float by (to bastardise a quote from Sun Tzu). Given enough time, most arguments for religion collapse on their own.


        • Keith says:

          Sun Tzu also said that we should always build our enemies a golden bridge to escape across. I’m not sure if it would work in our case as many of our enemies are so puffed up they would announce their escape as a victory.

        • Apprentice Frederic says:

          ..or announce it as a logical necessity…

  5. Ian Bathelt says:

    “I spent a while thinking of a good reply to this, without sounding like some sort of inbred hick or perhaps maybe to get your attention. However, I realize that there pretty much is no way for that to happen, if you put this in your hate-mail section, I’ll probably be mocked just as much as the next guy, who put the stupid comment about how you could never buy a pirate ship.”

    No Austin, you did make yourself sound like an inbred hick all on your own. No need to mock you when you say things like this: “Fuck you, and lay off religion asshole.” THAT, sir, makes you sound like an inbred hick.

    Aarghhh, matey!


    Ian Bathelt

    • chacstrap says:


    • Rasputin says:

      Jeremy Clarkson for Prime Minister. (Sorry it’s a bit off-subject, but petrolheads will know what I’m referring to.)

    • Capitan Hook says:

      “F*ck you, and lay off my religion asshole.” How do you know if i’m an asshole? You have never met me Austin. For a person of religion you sure do cast stones.

      We should make him walk the plank.

      • Luiz says:

        I second that capt’n!

      • The Sauceror says:

        Dearest Austin, I, for one, am sorry that you failed at your attempt to avoid “sounding like some sort of inbred hick”. Better luck next time.

        • Rasputin says:

          Am I the only guy on this blog who actually drives an Austin? It’s got 14 inch wheels from a Morris Minor.

        • Keith says:

          I drive a Metro Shades, which I am told is a girly car. In other words, it suits me fine.

        • The Sauceror says:

          The only Austin I’ve ever driven in is in central Nevada. It lies half-way between nowhere and nowhere else. It’s so small that most of the people who live there don’t even know it exists. It sounds like your Austin is bigger.

        • H. Bolivar Shagnasty says:

          *Rasputin’s* Austin is bigger; *

        • H. Bolivar Shagnasty says:

          ..*Austin’s* Austin is way teenier…

        • The Sauceror says:

          Dear H. Boliver, You’re probably right about that. Austin’s Austin is a teeny weenie, loud, obnoxious P.O.S. that only blows smoke out of its tailpipe. Don’t take this as a sting, but I’m suspicious that Rasputin’s 14 inches may be a bit of an exaggeration. But I wouldn’t know. You will have to ask R-o-o-o-x-a-a-a-nne, you don’t have to put on the red light. Those days are over. You don’t have to sell your body to the night. R-o-o-o-xanne…….

  6. Kevin says:

    That Austin guy sounds like an in-hick with a chip on his shoulder. So much for his own scripture of “judge not, lest ye be judged”.

    One more hypocrite.

    • Rasputin says:

      It’s difficult to post replies in the correct places when the blue “Reply” button is absent. I don’t know why that happens.

  7. Daniel says:

    Austin…seems a tender little nerve there has bee touched? Shame! Dont worry once the FSM touched you with his noodely appendage, especially in your “special place” you will want to take his sacrament and eat a whole bowl of spaghetti bolognaise.

    Pasta will be upon you

  8. dino says:


    There are a finite instances of commas in the universe. Please, when considering using a comma in a sentence, try to use the punctuation correctly.

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