I spent a while thinking (hate-mail)

Published June 14th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

I spent a while thinking of a good reply to this, without sounding like some sort of inbred hick or perhaps maybe to get your attention. However, I realize that there pretty much is no way for that to happen, if you put this in your hate-mail section, I’ll probably be mocked just as much as the next guy, who put the stupid comment about how you could never buy a pirate ship. I’m OK with that, I just wish people will actually think about what I have to say rather then ignorantly mocking what I believe personally. Whatever may happen, I don’t really mind, except that I cannot bring myself to be silent on this issue.

I am a Christian, whatever you may think about me, or absurd assumptions you may have about what I look like, think like, or speak like, realize this, I think all beliefs should be treated with equality. Atheism, Hindu, Buddhist, Christian, Muslim, Agonist, Voodoo, whatever, I don’t care, if you believe that you are correct, then you have every right in the world to believe that with all your heart, and nobody should force you to believe what they believe. Now I also believe in open criticism of any of these religions, meaning your Pastafarian view that openly mocks religion. However, it is also my right to criticize the criticism, meaning though while I believe it is your right to mock, harass, and generally make religious persons miserable, I don’t believe it is morally right.

Atheism is a belief just as much as Christianity. Say whatever you want about facts and how religion is stupid and all those who practice it are all idiots, but it still comes down to the fundamental truth that you must believe this to be more true over the other option. I am again, completely fine with that, and that is why I love America so much, because we CAN believe differently then one another, and still live peacefully (to a degree) together. However, mocking is not the right way to go about arguing your belief.
By the way, here is the definition of mocking:

1. Tease or laugh at in a scornful or contemptuous manner.

2. Make (something) seem laughably unreal or impossible.

To laugh at someone else’s belief that they dedicate their lives to is not funny or humorous, but I believe is rather childish and immature. This is the main reason why I would much rather sit down calmly with an atheist and have a rational discussion about each other’s beliefs, instead of smacking them in the face with a bible, and shouting how they are going to hell for not believing the undeniable truth that is the bible, or worse, calling their belief idiotic and getting my group of friends together and laughing and pointing in his face.

Of course there are people that do this, hence, you, and there will always be people like you. My job is try to convince you to be rational and discuss each others view points.

I could never put myself in your mindset and read this the same way through your eyes. To you, I just look like another idiot who took this seriously and decided to write a concerned letter and waste his time trying to teach you to be respectful, but the truth is, writing this helps me put my thoughts in order anyways.

If you do have one ounce of thought for my beliefs, at least view this letter with respect, and try to think about what I am thinking when I read this:


What I am thinking is that the joke has gone to far. Of course this letter asks for intelligent discussion, and that seems to have never existed in your website, so before I go, let my put it in your language.

Fuck you, and lay off religion asshole.


2,163 Responses to “I spent a while thinking (hate-mail)”

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  1. Lunatequ says:

    “Fuck you, and lay off religion asshole.”
    Correct me if I’m wrong here (as I am far from religious), but is it not a sin to use such colourful language in the presence of ‘God’. You know, the guy who, like Santa, constantly watches ALL your movements, thoughts, feelings, internet history etc.?

  2. John Dale Himebaugh says:

    Loved your response. I did read it and like Keith, I am a crotchety old man but Pastafarianism has helped me to let go and let his Noodley Appendages touch everything. In other words, things don’t matter as much anymore.

    • Tamara says:

      That is so nice to hear and thank you for your kind words :). We only get one shot at this (Unless reincarnation is real, and how cool could that be!? It would definitely explain the theory of old souls vs. young souls.) so I hope you enjoy all that is left out there for you to find and that you have the determination to keep looking when you don’t think anything is left.

      May his Noodly Appendage be on you always.

  3. Goodmalood says:

    There was a commercial on TV for ChristianMingle.com. Why no FlyingSpaghettiMonsterMingle.com?

  4. Zed says:

    Yep, no other gods before me.

    The new little god on the block is is belief, I mean Belief. All these pious people willing to worship the golden calf of belief, and do very willing harm on its behalf.

    The Flintstones was not a documentary. Belief always gives way to knowledge which spawns another generation of belief. And so it goes …

    Maybe we don’t blow ourselves up. Ten thousand years from now and whatever is human 2.0 will seem like gods to us … as we might seem to our previous selves as cro-magnon.

    If there is a God, laughter is divinity’s gift to all of us, and work is God’s punishment – look it up.

  5. Ken says:

    I have one small correction for Austin. Sorry if it appears in the myriad responses before this.
    Atheism is not a belief.
    Theists believe in imaginary friends, atheists don’t.

    -I was an atheist until I discovered His Noodliness.
    Now I know why I have alsways liked pasta and rich red meat.

    • Keith says:

      There is certainly no harm in reinforcing what atheism is. It needs to be continually drummed into the hate mailers heads as they seem to live in a world of their own personal definitions.

    • Bill J says:

      Theists seek to put atheism in the same light because they want to legitimize belief and faith as equal to rational thought and facts. It’s just another thing that theists say to each other and, with sufficient repetition believe to be true.

      I have no faith. I live a fact-based life. If I find evidence of a deity, I will consider it and make a decision. We don’t need a deity if we have each other. If we can get past tribalism, which is exacerbated by religions we will be able to make this world a good place.

  6. Bill J says:

    Human beings search for answers. There was no science 2,000 years ago and most people were hopelessly ignorant and lived short, retched lives by today’s standards. Still needing answers to help push back their fear (of death, the “other”, and all the things they couldn’t understand that appeared to just happen) they grabbed on to religion. They were told that the shaman, priest, etc knew the ultimate Truth. And for a small contribution they too could learn the Secrets Of Everything. Time passes… we no longer need to fear what we don’t understand. Science has pushed back the night. There are facts that explain and theories that seek to do so for most of what religion pretends to explain.

    Religious people complain and rant that we should respect their faith and beliefs. However, they do not respect rational thought, scientific evidence and that all progress starts with challenging accepted paradigms. It’s especially “disrespectful” when it is their faith paradigm that is challenged. We should not respect faith and belief systems because they are sourced from the irrational fears of primitive peoples.

    It’s turtles all the way down.


    • FreshCountryTomato says:

      “There was no science 2,000 years ago and most people were hopelessly ignorant and lived short, retched lives by today’s standards.”

      Are you sure? Do you really mean it? I want you read history again. In India, science was part of the cultural rituals. The Hymns that were sung, while being offered oblations in fire, were all about sciences like Math, Geography, Astronomy, Medicine etc. For example, a small ritual that is still part of our culture, is to point at two stars (“Twin Star” system) after the bride and groom finish their prayers and their allegiance to each other. This is not just mere point at a spec of light in the sky, the Rishis and the authors of various Scriptures intended to teach the common people, who would otherwise not understand this astronomical (both literally and figuratively) concept. You know when were these identified by the “Astronomers” ? Maybe you can tell me, this could be your homework.

      However, now, its a mere pointing at the sky. No one really cares why we actually point to the sky, of course they tell you why, but you are more concerned with how much sex you are going to have later that night with your new wife/husband.

      I am not trying to point out a fact that you were unaware of this. I am trying to mention that even though you are an atheist (gathered from tone of your argument) I dont think you are knowledgeable enough about science and religion. I think you should read about Hindu scriptures, not from a “religion” point of view, but from a philosophy point of view. There are billion instances where the scriptures demand complete “devotion” but I interpret that demand from another point of view.

      PS: I have been in your situation many a times, and still find my self in them. The only thing I take from them is that, I am still ignorant as in not knowledgeable and not what it means in our current time. You can take what you like from this.

      • Keith says:

        I think that Bill J was responding to Austin, who is a christian. Austin seems to think that atheism is a belief and that all beliefs, no matter how patently absurd, should be treated equally. I daresay that most of us are aware that India, like Greece and China, had sophisticated ideas about astronomy long before the western renaissance.They also had ideas that were absolute rubbish. Most of the sophistication seems to have been wasted on determining when weddings should take place or whether reigns or business ventures would be propitious. All three also claimed medical knowledge, some of which has turned out to be correct: most of which turned out to be appallingly inaccurate. Of course, some people would probably call me a racist, colonialist bastard but I for one will not be spending the remaining 30 odd years of my life learning an ancient language and pouring through source texts just to prove or disprove your claims. I did have a spare 10 minutes or so for this response.

  7. Steve from MN says:

    “In The Beginning”…..it sounded as if he truly was a sincere Christian looking to rationally discuss his views as contrasted with the views of Pastafarianism. I couldn’t help to reflect favorably on his reasonable tone, and his stated acceptance of other religion’s rights to be treated as equal. The calm and even tenor of his written discourse was a powerful reflection of his Christ-like love of others.

    He had me until “Fuck you, and lay off of religion asshole”.

  8. Sure Bob Sure says:

    “To laugh at someone else’s belief that they dedicate their lives to is not funny or humorous, but I believe is rather childish and immature.”

    Actually it’s liberating and powerful. All tyrants fear laughter. It’s no surprise to me that non-pastafarians fear it

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