I spent a while thinking (hate-mail)

Published June 14th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

I spent a while thinking of a good reply to this, without sounding like some sort of inbred hick or perhaps maybe to get your attention. However, I realize that there pretty much is no way for that to happen, if you put this in your hate-mail section, I’ll probably be mocked just as much as the next guy, who put the stupid comment about how you could never buy a pirate ship. I’m OK with that, I just wish people will actually think about what I have to say rather then ignorantly mocking what I believe personally. Whatever may happen, I don’t really mind, except that I cannot bring myself to be silent on this issue.

I am a Christian, whatever you may think about me, or absurd assumptions you may have about what I look like, think like, or speak like, realize this, I think all beliefs should be treated with equality. Atheism, Hindu, Buddhist, Christian, Muslim, Agonist, Voodoo, whatever, I don’t care, if you believe that you are correct, then you have every right in the world to believe that with all your heart, and nobody should force you to believe what they believe. Now I also believe in open criticism of any of these religions, meaning your Pastafarian view that openly mocks religion. However, it is also my right to criticize the criticism, meaning though while I believe it is your right to mock, harass, and generally make religious persons miserable, I don’t believe it is morally right.

Atheism is a belief just as much as Christianity. Say whatever you want about facts and how religion is stupid and all those who practice it are all idiots, but it still comes down to the fundamental truth that you must believe this to be more true over the other option. I am again, completely fine with that, and that is why I love America so much, because we CAN believe differently then one another, and still live peacefully (to a degree) together. However, mocking is not the right way to go about arguing your belief.
By the way, here is the definition of mocking:

1. Tease or laugh at in a scornful or contemptuous manner.

2. Make (something) seem laughably unreal or impossible.

To laugh at someone else’s belief that they dedicate their lives to is not funny or humorous, but I believe is rather childish and immature. This is the main reason why I would much rather sit down calmly with an atheist and have a rational discussion about each other’s beliefs, instead of smacking them in the face with a bible, and shouting how they are going to hell for not believing the undeniable truth that is the bible, or worse, calling their belief idiotic and getting my group of friends together and laughing and pointing in his face.

Of course there are people that do this, hence, you, and there will always be people like you. My job is try to convince you to be rational and discuss each others view points.

I could never put myself in your mindset and read this the same way through your eyes. To you, I just look like another idiot who took this seriously and decided to write a concerned letter and waste his time trying to teach you to be respectful, but the truth is, writing this helps me put my thoughts in order anyways.

If you do have one ounce of thought for my beliefs, at least view this letter with respect, and try to think about what I am thinking when I read this:


What I am thinking is that the joke has gone to far. Of course this letter asks for intelligent discussion, and that seems to have never existed in your website, so before I go, let my put it in your language.

Fuck you, and lay off religion asshole.


2,163 Responses to “I spent a while thinking (hate-mail)”

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  1. Atsap Revol says:

    No, UhOh, most of us still support the main objective of Pastafarianism: to stop the teaching of superstition in science classes in public, taxpayer-funded schools. The “militants” are the fundamentalists who shout loud and long for inclusion of their beliefs and prayer in schools. They often get bashed here, because their beliefs conflict with the separation of church and state. Religious instruction and prayer belong in the home, in the church, and in PAROCHIAL schools; surely that should provide enough room for all religious or non-religious people to indoctrinate (brainwash?) their children as they see fit. Families can even choose to home-school children if they find public education too reprehensible.

    Atsap Revol

  2. Past-arrr Mike says:

    Another case of ‘Didn’t Read the Directions.’ It saddens me that something done in light-hearted protest against those who are trying to force their beliefs onto others is regularly attacked by the same people who should have gotten the message. Don’t try to force your beliefs on us. We don’t want them. Part of the doctrine in the CoFSM is NOT to force beliefs on anyone. Tell them about it, what it’s all about and what you believe if they ask, but DON’T make fun of them because they don’t believe the way you do. If there are people on this site who do just that from an athiesm standpoint, I can understand it– I was horrendously attacked and told I was going to Hell so many times by other kids when I was in school, well, it left me with a very bitter taste for organized religion. What those kids should have done when they heard I didn’t know much about religion–if they wanted to convert me– was tell me about it, tell me what they liked about it, and why they liked it. Instead they just laughed at me and told me I was going to burn for eternity.

    You say you thought very hard about your response, well and good. Perhaps you should actually read through the materials as well. I think there is no reason why Pastafarians and Christians shouldn’t get along. In fact, there is no reason why people of any religion cannot also be Pastafarians. Pastafarianism is about intelligent arguments, not forcing beliefs on others, and not trying to teach mythology or religion as science. It’s not about making fun, it’s about making a point.

    I was with you until you got to the swearing at the end, too. You seemed so intelligent until then, and though I don’t now think you are stupid, I do think you thought less about the subject than you just carefully organized your feelings. I’m sure everyone here would gladly extend you a noodly appendage in peace, because there’s enough hate in the world already, all because of misunderstanding and “I-am-Right” ism.

    • UhOhSpaghettiO says:

      “I-am-Right” ism. I love that, Past-arrr Mike. Lots of that going around on this site, from both sides of the aisle! Perhaps we should lump the militant practitioners of the Atheism religion with the other fundamentals. They belong together.

  3. Madatak says:

    ‘I don’t want sound like an imbred hick’ ‘Fuck you assholes’ Well, nice work there. And yes, we do in a way mock people, but not because of religion alone, only when their religion seems to get in the way of their reason. None of us here should mock or hate someone just for being a Christian.

    • UhOhSpaghettiO says:

      None of us should, Madatak, but many do. IMHO, the original vision of this cause has been distorted and manipulated by those practicing their Atheistic beliefs. They are equal to the fundamental Christians, fundamental Islams, and others who take a “my way or the highway viewpoint.” If there is an afterlife, I believe these militant Atheists would be spending it with the other fundamentalists.

  4. w.a.hundt says:

    Hi, I have converted to CoFSM just now. I am not english speaking, as a fact I never was thought english. I just picked it up tagging along in the bush in Africa. What I am shocked is that people referred to as ‘intelligent’ do not know the difference between there and their and to and too. Assuming that these people had some instructions in english, I would not qualify such people as intelligent. I think it is from Shakespear ‘he did not know what to say. so he cursed”.
    Christian and most other religions (possibly excluding hinduism) are all religions of black mail. If you do this you go to hell, if you do not do the other you go to hell. Or if you do not belong to our blieve you go to hell too, or if you belong to any other religion you go to hell!

    This means logically, that belonging to ANY religion, you offend the doctrine of all other religions and YOU WILL GO TO HELL. So the safest to stay out of hell, would certainly be a member of the non-blackmailing CoFSM.

    However, having an engineering background, in electronics, mechanical engineering and boat design and an interest in History, I love discussing the fallacies of religious believes.

    A pope (was it Gregor 1st?) who said ‘where would the chourch be without the profitable fable of christ?’ On this point alone, since the CoFSM asks no contributions, its survival should secured for many 1000’s of years.

    Now lowreing my standard expression to the level to some religious fuck-nuts (see above), in Geneisis it is written, that god made the world in 7 days! Who was there to witness this? And ‘King Solomon was a man to Gods heart’ He had 500 wifes (but no wedding ceremony those days), so to take his example, should I now srew anything that does not climb a tree fast enough?

    And the last pretty girl was burnt as Witch in Germany as late as 1655. Religion for you!

  5. MJ Madrid says:

    “Atheism is a belief just as much as Christianity.”

    WRONG! Belief requires faith. Atheism requires no faith, just proof. There are no songs to learn, no rituals to follow, no potlucks to attend and no one to rob me of 10% of my earnings. Too many X-tians insist that Atheism is a religion, which is what you might expect from someone who believes the world is 6,000 years old and was created in six days.

    • Tom, Decatur, IL says:

      I am not a Christian, more of an agnostic leaning towards deism. What is the proof of atheism? You are trying to prove the absence of a divine being. How do you do this?

      • SillyKiwiMan says:


        Read up on Russel’s teapot. I have a belt that protects me from snakes. I wear it every day and have never been bitten by a snake. Prove it’s not my belt protecting me. Savvy?

        • Keith says:

          That’s interesting. I know a fellow who drinks beer regularly to prevent the sea snakes from St Kilda (South Australia) from crawling onto land and entering his house. He has never had a sea snake enter his house.

        • TiltedHorizon says:


          I gave my son a spray bottle with ‘special’ monster-be-gone liquid. (to ease him into a bedtime ritual) To date there have been no monsters under his bed or closet…

          Must be the spray. :)

      • TheFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

        Well, that’s the point, Tom. Proving the ABSENCE of something is near impossible. Luckily, the burden of proof should be on those who hold extraordinary views. Not only do they claim there’s a one-of-a-kind omnipotent being that no one’s ever seen, but then they make wild and contradictory statements about his wants. Really? A perfect being has wants? We Pastafarians do not hold that the FSM is a perfect being. He drinks a little too much and over the years some of those noodly appendages have gotten a little flabby.

      • TiltedHorizon says:

        There is no “proof” of atheism. There is only evidence, specifically the lack of, which results in one concluding a higher power is not likely; this conclusion results in the subtraction of god from, i,e, to be without-god, ipso facto, atheism.

  6. Daniel Løvbrøtte Olsen says:

    The thing is it is laughingly ridiculous… Blantyre saying there’s an invisible man stalking you is insane, and religion just blocks the eyes of people

  7. Kelehe says:

    I felt compelled to comment on the assertion made by Austin that all beliefs should be treated with equality. We are socially trained to believe that because religion is “sacred” that we should not criticize it. This is very convenient for theocrats, not only do they get blind, unquestioning followers, but the non-believers are too polite to question it as well.

    If everyone believed in magic belts of snake protection, monster-be-gone spray, beer keeps sea snakes from entering their house, a teapot is flying around a planet and unicorns, who would care? But we live in a world where beliefs are organized into a mixture of sociology and mythology called religion. Believers are unquestioning and leaders change the rules to accommodate their personal message as often as the wind changes direction. These organized groups have real effects on the world around them, affecting their neighbors, friends, family and through the magic of government and law, people far and away.

    With that kind of power and influence behind a belief, why would anyone assert that they should all be viewed equally? You mean viewed as equally absurd? Equally dangerous? Equally flawed? Perhaps I might buy into some of those assertions, but I don’t think Austin means that. Austin means viewed as equally valid; equally deserving of respect; equally deserving recognition as valuable and worthwhile. Why? Well apparently if enough people believe it, then it should be so.

    I disagree. These belief systems are used as tools to many ends. They hold sway over others for personal, political and social power and control. They are fully deserving of critical dissection and evaluation. Society must begin to think freely and critically about religions and discuss them openly; they are dangerous to society. They affect laws and social norms in very negative ways. When was the last time a powerful religious group lobbied the government for something good? Prop 8? Transvaginal ultrasound for abortion? (I guess if they believe it is good, then we should respect that belief and treat it equally) When was the last time a politician stood up and said, I’m voting for universal healthcare, equal rights or services for the poor because I am morally bound by my religious beliefs to do so? Quite the contrary; religious leaders dupe their followers, often poor, elderly and otherwise susceptible members of society out of billions of dollars a year to subsidize their tax-free organizations which they use to affect society. If one were to compare the ratio of dollars to social good, (feeding the poor and clothing and housing the homeless, for example) to the dollars spent on denying LGBT rights, legislating women’s reproductive rights and lobbying against healthcare for everyone, one would find a very large disparity.

    So, in closing, Austin, as you so eloquently put it, Fuck YOU, and I will not “lay off” religion. I don’t care if you believe your belt wards off snakes, but I do care when you believe other people are less than you and should legislated to act as your mythology dictates. All beliefs should not be viewed equally.

  8. Lexagonal says:

    Hey if god loves me so much he would find a more interesting SRP teacher.

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