I spent a while thinking (hate-mail)

Published June 14th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

I spent a while thinking of a good reply to this, without sounding like some sort of inbred hick or perhaps maybe to get your attention. However, I realize that there pretty much is no way for that to happen, if you put this in your hate-mail section, I’ll probably be mocked just as much as the next guy, who put the stupid comment about how you could never buy a pirate ship. I’m OK with that, I just wish people will actually think about what I have to say rather then ignorantly mocking what I believe personally. Whatever may happen, I don’t really mind, except that I cannot bring myself to be silent on this issue.

I am a Christian, whatever you may think about me, or absurd assumptions you may have about what I look like, think like, or speak like, realize this, I think all beliefs should be treated with equality. Atheism, Hindu, Buddhist, Christian, Muslim, Agonist, Voodoo, whatever, I don’t care, if you believe that you are correct, then you have every right in the world to believe that with all your heart, and nobody should force you to believe what they believe. Now I also believe in open criticism of any of these religions, meaning your Pastafarian view that openly mocks religion. However, it is also my right to criticize the criticism, meaning though while I believe it is your right to mock, harass, and generally make religious persons miserable, I don’t believe it is morally right.

Atheism is a belief just as much as Christianity. Say whatever you want about facts and how religion is stupid and all those who practice it are all idiots, but it still comes down to the fundamental truth that you must believe this to be more true over the other option. I am again, completely fine with that, and that is why I love America so much, because we CAN believe differently then one another, and still live peacefully (to a degree) together. However, mocking is not the right way to go about arguing your belief.
By the way, here is the definition of mocking:

1. Tease or laugh at in a scornful or contemptuous manner.

2. Make (something) seem laughably unreal or impossible.

To laugh at someone else’s belief that they dedicate their lives to is not funny or humorous, but I believe is rather childish and immature. This is the main reason why I would much rather sit down calmly with an atheist and have a rational discussion about each other’s beliefs, instead of smacking them in the face with a bible, and shouting how they are going to hell for not believing the undeniable truth that is the bible, or worse, calling their belief idiotic and getting my group of friends together and laughing and pointing in his face.

Of course there are people that do this, hence, you, and there will always be people like you. My job is try to convince you to be rational and discuss each others view points.

I could never put myself in your mindset and read this the same way through your eyes. To you, I just look like another idiot who took this seriously and decided to write a concerned letter and waste his time trying to teach you to be respectful, but the truth is, writing this helps me put my thoughts in order anyways.

If you do have one ounce of thought for my beliefs, at least view this letter with respect, and try to think about what I am thinking when I read this:


What I am thinking is that the joke has gone to far. Of course this letter asks for intelligent discussion, and that seems to have never existed in your website, so before I go, let my put it in your language.

Fuck you, and lay off religion asshole.


2,163 Responses to “I spent a while thinking (hate-mail)”

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  1. Rob says:

    Just one correction: Atheism is not a religion. To use a famous quote, if atheism where’s religion then baldness must be a hair colour and Zero would be a strictly positive quantity. Again: Get your facts straight.

    • Alex says:

      Was that aimed at me?


    • St.Agliatelle says:

      NOt true – Atheism is the lack of a belief in a god just as baldness is the lack of hair and zero is the lack of an amount.
      Therefore atheism may be descibed as a faith, but hardly a religion.

      • Keith says:

        One fundamentalist website had this to say about faith (yes, it’s a cut and paste job)
        ” Faith is believing in what is true. Faith has two elements: 1) being convinced of the truth, being certain of reality, having evidence of unseen things, and 2) believing, hoping in, embracing, seizing the truth.”
        They just stopped short of telling us to have sex with it.

        • TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

          Note how they kept on pushing the word “truth”. You’re being directed to convince yourself the “truth” is something other than evidence and common sense tells you it is.

      • Rivermask says:

        Actually, atheism is a lack of faith.
        As one might realize from the word itself, atheism is the equivalent of ‘a-theism’. The prefix ‘a’ nullifies it, meaning the definition is ‘not theism’. In other words, the disbelief or lack of belief in a god or gods.
        The common confusion is that atheists believe that there is no god. That would be a faith, the faith that there is no god. If you are saying that there is no god and have no evidence to back it up, you are a gnostic atheist. That would be a faith, as there is no proof to it, but most atheists don’t believe that. Atheism, by definition, should be the default position; it is the equivalent of saying ‘I don’t know, and I won’t accept it as truth until it can be proven’.

        So yes, you are close, but there’s a subtle difference.

        • Lykeios says:

          Not really… what you’re describing at the end is agnostic atheism. You’re even closer but still missing the real point. “agnostic” and “gnostic” are degrees of perceived certainty. The word “atheism” itself does not imply any degree of certainty or uncertainty as far as I’m aware…

        • Dave says:

          Right now, unfortunately, I’m not on a pirate ship. If the people next to me believe they are on a pirate ship, and they know this to be true as they have a book that tells them so then great. I however do not spend my time believing in the faith that I am not on a pirate ship, I’m just not on one. Sad as this may be there’s just nothing to suggest to me that I’m on a pirate ship at all.

          I don’t need to think I might be on a pirate ship until I can solidly prove with iodine and string and other science instruments that I am not on a pirate ship, because there was nothing to suggest this ship ever existed at all in the first place. Spending time and effort to prove the pirate ship is not real is a waste of time, because then I’d just have to prove to the other people next to me that we’re not filled with cream cheese, as their book suggests. And then to the other people that think think gandalf is going to lead them to button moon. And then to….

          So to be an Athiest is to take the world at face value and logically work with what you have. That is not a belief, it’s an ‘is’. You don’t have to be nasty to people who believe nonsense, however you also don’t have to accept that said nonsense might be true just because it can’t be proved otherwise. That’s playground reasoning. ‘I saw a real unicorn in the woods and you can’t prove I didn’t.

        • stylusmobilus says:

          That, Dave is one of the best ways I have ever seen it put.

  2. puppygoogoo says:


    Does anyone know what an Agonist is? Can’t find any recordings of this ‘religion’ anywhere?


    • Keith says:

      There was a story called “Casey Agonistes” by Richard McKenna about a phantom ape thing that keeps appearing in a TB ward. I don’t know if that has anything to do with it.

    • Omnipotent Zombie says:

      The only thing I can think of is a metal band called The Agonist, who is fronted by a very attractive female lead singer. Maybe he is refering to their fan club?

    • stylusmobilus says:

      Someone who believes in pain…? Sorry, that was very, very lame, I know.

    • NV_DC says:

      Agonism is a sect of Christianity. It’s not that common.


  3. Rational thinker says:

    Do not pass judgement on others if you do not want them to judge or mock you.

    • Keith says:

      People in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones, look before you leap, it’s always darkest before the dawn, an owl in a sack harms no man, to be alive you must live to be:
      I’m not certain who you are addressing this to but your rephrasing of “judge not lest ye be judged” (and other similar interpretations) is really quite meaningless unless you know that the other party is genuinely disinclined to judge you. I have never known any people who are like this. People like Austin have already judged us probably before they actively sought out this site so that they could express their judgement. Yes, I am being judgemental. It is a human condition.

    • TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

      Bring it on! I say let’s drag everything out into the light and examine it logically. If there’s a reason why we shouldn’t mock ridiculous beliefs, present them.

    • puppygoogoo says:

      What about look left then right before you cross the road? I can handle judgement and mocking so have at it.


      • Keith says:

        I was always taught to look left, then right, then left again, then keep looking both ways as you cross the road. Nowdays kids don’t bother. They charge across because they know that as far as the law is concerned it’s never the kid’s fault.

        • The Reverend Toni Rigatoni says:

          If I didn’t already know, that statement would immediately identify you as a Brit Keith!

        • Keith says:

          Anglo-Australian. Growing up in the suburbs in the ’60s there was really no difference between the two cultures.

        • stylusmobilus says:

          And that if they get hit they still have two lifes left, will only lose a quarter of a bar and will reheal quickly or can hit the continue button.

        • Keith says:

          You can restore 10HP with an Oran berry.

  4. WorshipMe says:

    All that matters is:

    1. What CAN a man do?
    2. What CAN’T a man do?

    The rest is all bullocks and madeup by people.

    So if you all CAN shut up…

  5. david chappy says:

    Funny that a confessed christian would end a letter with “fuck you asshole”…I’m just sayin’…RAmen is so much better.

  6. Solitairedog says:

    Claiming atheism is a religion is a red-herring. The issue is between science and mythology, period. I recommend judging each on their merits. Mocking a belief system is totally better than killing for it. Smiling is better than burning at the stake. Laughter is better than shunning your neighbor. And knowlege is better than faith.

  7. micky2shoes says:

    Wait – what? All beliefs should be treated with equal respect?

    Utter bollocks, i’m afraid. If someone tells me they believe hatred of a particular colour/sexuality/other minority is ok, or that we’re here because of an alien called Xenu, or that AIDS is gods’ punishment, i reserve utterly the right to not respect that viewpoint.
    How would you react to a belief that it was ok to discriminate against Christians, to ban them from public spaces, to deprive them of rights – would you believe that should be respected?

    Really – do you Xtians never think it through?

    • SillyKiwiMan says:

      I’m of the opinion that all religions should be treated with equal respece: None.

      Perhaps a better way to put it would be that all religions should be treated with equal contempt. I can vary my respect for individuals, ie. the religious person who doesn’t preach, isn’t bigoted (in all their many forms) etc, but I will NEVER respect their beliefs.

      And I expect the same in return. They can be smugly satisfied that I’ll burn in hell, but as long as they keep that to themselves, I won’t bother arguing the toss with them.



      • SillyKiwiMan says:

        *Respect* (not respece, or even the Ali G “Respek”)

  8. Jesus says:

    You all are going to hell for not believing in My Father and I. And to think I died for your sins just for you to worship a type of food. It just saddens my heart.

    • Keith says:

      At the risk of being a pedant, it’s “My Father and me”.

      • Atsap Revol says:

        Oh come on Keith, don’t try to correct a Christian. They know that they are right about everything. You have truly doomed yourself to eternal pedantic Hell for that comment. But if you repent and truly welcome Jesus into your heart, you may yet find salivation [sic]. Christians believe in salvation, Pastafarians believe in salivation when worshipping at a delicious plate of marinara-drenched pasta.

        Atsap Revol, The Road to Hell is Paved with Good Grammar

        • Keith says:

          All that talk about salivation is making me salivate! Talk about a Pavlovian reaction. Lick me ’till I scream!

    • TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

      He’s right, you know! It’s all so obvious to me now – the talking snakes, the sun stopping in the sky, millions living in the desert for years on the move, getting their only sustenance from falling bread and water from the rocks. If only Jesus would have lived long enough to actually make someone notice! Why couldn’t he have been born into a large, advanced civilization, or at least left a shred of proof he ever existed at all? Now we’re all doomed to the all-merciful’s eternal torture chamber.

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