I spent a while thinking (hate-mail)

Published June 14th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

I spent a while thinking of a good reply to this, without sounding like some sort of inbred hick or perhaps maybe to get your attention. However, I realize that there pretty much is no way for that to happen, if you put this in your hate-mail section, I’ll probably be mocked just as much as the next guy, who put the stupid comment about how you could never buy a pirate ship. I’m OK with that, I just wish people will actually think about what I have to say rather then ignorantly mocking what I believe personally. Whatever may happen, I don’t really mind, except that I cannot bring myself to be silent on this issue.

I am a Christian, whatever you may think about me, or absurd assumptions you may have about what I look like, think like, or speak like, realize this, I think all beliefs should be treated with equality. Atheism, Hindu, Buddhist, Christian, Muslim, Agonist, Voodoo, whatever, I don’t care, if you believe that you are correct, then you have every right in the world to believe that with all your heart, and nobody should force you to believe what they believe. Now I also believe in open criticism of any of these religions, meaning your Pastafarian view that openly mocks religion. However, it is also my right to criticize the criticism, meaning though while I believe it is your right to mock, harass, and generally make religious persons miserable, I don’t believe it is morally right.

Atheism is a belief just as much as Christianity. Say whatever you want about facts and how religion is stupid and all those who practice it are all idiots, but it still comes down to the fundamental truth that you must believe this to be more true over the other option. I am again, completely fine with that, and that is why I love America so much, because we CAN believe differently then one another, and still live peacefully (to a degree) together. However, mocking is not the right way to go about arguing your belief.
By the way, here is the definition of mocking:

1. Tease or laugh at in a scornful or contemptuous manner.

2. Make (something) seem laughably unreal or impossible.

To laugh at someone else’s belief that they dedicate their lives to is not funny or humorous, but I believe is rather childish and immature. This is the main reason why I would much rather sit down calmly with an atheist and have a rational discussion about each other’s beliefs, instead of smacking them in the face with a bible, and shouting how they are going to hell for not believing the undeniable truth that is the bible, or worse, calling their belief idiotic and getting my group of friends together and laughing and pointing in his face.

Of course there are people that do this, hence, you, and there will always be people like you. My job is try to convince you to be rational and discuss each others view points.

I could never put myself in your mindset and read this the same way through your eyes. To you, I just look like another idiot who took this seriously and decided to write a concerned letter and waste his time trying to teach you to be respectful, but the truth is, writing this helps me put my thoughts in order anyways.

If you do have one ounce of thought for my beliefs, at least view this letter with respect, and try to think about what I am thinking when I read this:


What I am thinking is that the joke has gone to far. Of course this letter asks for intelligent discussion, and that seems to have never existed in your website, so before I go, let my put it in your language.

Fuck you, and lay off religion asshole.


2,161 Responses to “I spent a while thinking (hate-mail)”

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  1. Mike N says:

    Like many other posters, I am absolutely sick of hearing people say that atheism is a belief. I’m currently wearing a comfy bathrobe and sitting in a cushy chair, but it requires no “belief” on my part to know that indeed there is a chair or bathrobe. Atheism is a fact of life.

    • Keith says:

      It beats sitting on a spike. There’d be no question about the existence of a spike.

    • thelr says:

      You are only half right. As far as what atheism claims to exist, sure it’s based on facts. That’s pretty much the definition of atheism. It is Atheism’s statements about what does NOT exist that becomes faith based.

      Most religions believe in the existence of a spiritual realm that is not in any way physical. Regardless of how ridiculous it sounds to you, science has no bearing on the factual existence of such a realm because science is physical. Thus, when atheists say “There is no god(s)/afterlife/heaven/hell/spirits/ghosts/etc”, they are making a faith-based statement.

      • Olio says:

        “/ghosts, etc”

        There is a division of science that concerns the para normal actually. It is actually science. One of the things you note is a sub division, but do not believe god enters into it excepting the beliefs of the people claiming to experience various phenomenon (or those studying it).

      • TiltedHorizon says:

        By your logic, ‘There is no Santa Clause”, is a faith based statement. The word “Faith” applies when proof of Santa is not required, needed, or wanted.

        In all honestly, it is not unfair to expect proof of a “ridiculous” sounding claim, it is the only way to separate what is likely true from what is likely not true. Without “proof” any faith based claim is true from Christianity to Scientology (FSM too) and any action done in the name of faith is justified (like 9/11, racism, slavery).

        Without “proof”, it does not take faith to say “There is no god(s)/afterlife/heaven/hell/spirits/ghosts/etc”, it is a conclusion of the evidence provided.

        • Olio says:

          Really there are many Santa Clauses. Depends upon the time of year. He is simultaneously posted at just about every mall in america anyway and a few office parties. Hannuka Harry is harder to locate.

  2. Katie says:

    I actually respected this guy’s opinion until the end of this letter. Up until then it was alright to hear and I was tolerant despite my own personal views being different, and it was a to each their own thing…but then the end of the letter. With that he just became another asshole who needed to yank the stick out of his ass.

    • Amy Pirate says:

      I agree, I do understand that religion CAN be a sensitive subject, but that it HAS to be. I’m sorry Austin’s offended, but if our religion and our beliefs and way of life bothers him so much… why spent time on us? Life is so much more than idiots and pirates – I almost more sorry about a human not living but complaining and disrespecting others. I am a believer – why am I an ass-hole, just because I do not share his religion? Is it the same with Islam? Would I still be an ass-hole if I were a Hindu?

  3. Olio says:

    ‘I actually respected this guys opinion until’

    Let that be a lesson to you. I estimate that he was not looking to earn anyone’s respect in the first place.

  4. Q says:

    First a disclaimer: I’m new to this site and am basing my understanding of this church primarily on the about section I recently read.

    I agree, he made some good points all through the letter. The only thing I would question is if really gets that the point of all this is to mock the actions not the belief itself. I hold myself very strictly to the rule of respecting the beliefs of others (sometimes to a fault), but I see here a desire to separate those beliefs from the actions people take based upon them.

    For instance, if I believe I can fly under my own power that effects no one. If I dive off a building in an attempt to demonstrate my faith in this belief it leaves an impact (no pun intended) on those around me and my environment. If I try to convince others of their ability to fly under their own power it is up to them to defend themselves with logic. If I press for such teachings in a public school system or try to enact laws which further my belief over others, then it becomes a matter of public attention.

    By it’s very nature, our actions call attention upon us and that will always leave the door open for scrutiny. Yes people should be mature about their criticisms and not cruel. Yes the world really would be a better place if we could all sit down over coffee to calmly discuss our differences (and each of us should strive for this in our personal lives), but the reality is still far from this, so we must also prepare ourselves for less mature attacks. Frankly, my personal values and faith in part serve to stop me from such moral crimes and shield me from the hate of others, and I don’t see why that couldn’t be the case for everyone – regardless of which faith or values they choose.

    I applaud the writer for recognizing this need in the world, but respectfully ask him to look for the distinctions being made. Though I suppose not all FML church members will uphold the founder’s personal goals for this religion, I do think that individuals should be held accountable for such violations rather than the church as a whole.

    • TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

      Should someone want to believe the earth is flat, or less than 10,000 years old, fine. I might snicker, but they can go on with their delusions. However, when they try to enforce others to hold their beliefs, or start flying planes into buildings, it’s time to tell the Emperor he has no clothes. THAT is the point of the COFSM.

      • Keith says:

        The vast majority of flat-earthers are biblical fundamentalists, so it is inevitable that flat-earthers will try to ram their views down people’s throats every chance they get.

        • Olio says:

          I have yet to meet anyone whom actually thinks the earth is flat.

          Now that I’ve said this probably will.

          If people really think that I am going to start suggesting parachutes for bicycle riders meeting that description. Would not want to see anyone plummet off the edge of the planet unprotected.

          Seriously now. Please name one person alive today whom honestly believes this (not your four year old either) and I will stand corrected.

        • Olio says:

          I have yet to meet a person whom actually believes the earth meets this description. Now that I have said that probably will.

          I am going to suggest parachutes for cyclists meeting this criteria so that there is no fear of plummeting off the edge of the planet unprotected.

          Seriously please, cite one individual whom believes this truly ( not your four year old either) and I will stand corrected.

        • Olio says:

          Oups. Got kicked off line during posting. It dis appeared. So I type it over again post it and they both show up. Go figure.

        • Keith says:

          Try Daniel Shenton

        • Olio says:

          ‘Try Daniel Shenton’

          Who is that?

        • Keith says:

          Google it. It is not hard to do.

        • Amber says:

          Ouch, you obviously live in a box.

        • TiltedHorizon says:


          No. We live in the world which we recognize as being much larger then the 20 mile bubble most people inhabit.

        • Reverend Captain Mal says:


      • hotclaws says:

        I have met someone who believes the earth is hollow

        • Reverend Captain Mal says:

          I read a book about that once. It was pretty fascinating to think that only a hundred years ago, it was a very compelling argument. Lots of factual evidence was presented in such a way that if one didn’t know better, they may actually start believing that crap.

          Is this person you know a friend of yours or just some nutjob you keep around for the giggles?

        • Keith says:

          Has he/she by any chance read “The Smoky God” or “I remember Lemuria”?

        • Olio says:

          Is the person believing the earth is hollow the same person believing the earth is hollow? I cannot envision how it could be both flat and hollow at the same time. Not unless it were inflatable, like a big raft. ..

        • Olio says:

          A correct on that. After the word hollow it should read ‘flat’, not hollow again.

    • Violette says:

      Thank you for actually looking into what this site is about before getting all up in arms. You are entirely correct. The problem is too many people think that if THEY believe the Bible says something is wrong or right then our society should be forced to follow those rules. I wonder which rules they think we should follow? Because if we ask the Southern Baptists, dancing and card playing would be illegal. Ask the Seventh Day folks–how about closing stores on Saturday? And then there are the Assembly of God followers who would make movies illegal. It is never simple and wars were fought over people splitting dogmatical hairs many times in history. That is a trap we decline to fall into, thank you very much.

  5. Olio says:

    ‘Our actions draw attention on us and that will always leave the door open for scrutiny ‘

    Can you tell me what actions this person had taken which deserved the type of scrutiny she received? Thank you.


    • Violette says:

      The reason this activist site came into being is awful. However, I think the site itself is fabulous and I applaud this young lady for her good endeavors. I assure you our dear FSM has touched her with His noodly appendage! Ramen!!!

  6. Olio says:

    Intelligent discussion has not existed in this website? Maybe not.
    But on the web site, it does all the time.

  7. Alphy says:


    Atheism is NOT a religion or believe system.

    For Poop’s sake, go take a good long hot enema!

  8. Mrs FSM says:

    “I think all beliefs should be treated with equality. Atheism, Hindu, Buddhist, Christian, Muslim, Agonist, Voodoo, whatever, I don’t care, if you believe that you are correct, then you have every right in the world to believe that with all your heart, and nobody should force you to believe what they believe.”

    Are you completely serious about this?
    Racists believe they are correct. The nazis believe they are correct. Terrorists believe they are correct. Psycopathic killers believe they are correct. Rapists, murderes, child molesters, everyone.

    Just because we believe something is correct, does not mean we should close our minds to different ideas and perspectives.

    As for me, I think killing is wrong. I think it is wrong no matter who does it. (And YES, America, that means you too!) BUT, I understand that sometimes you might wind up in a dire situation where it’s you or the other guy. And of course, if you have to kill someone in order not to be killed, I understand. Still, that might also be wrong in some cases. Like, war. Soldiers kill other soldiers in order not to be killed themselves. War is wrong. THOU SHALT NOT KILL, and so on. (I’m not religious, but I do agree that one should not kill another human being).

    Bottom line:

    Just because one believes strongly in something, does not automatically make it right, or even legal.

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