I spent a while thinking (hate-mail)

Published June 14th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

I spent a while thinking of a good reply to this, without sounding like some sort of inbred hick or perhaps maybe to get your attention. However, I realize that there pretty much is no way for that to happen, if you put this in your hate-mail section, I’ll probably be mocked just as much as the next guy, who put the stupid comment about how you could never buy a pirate ship. I’m OK with that, I just wish people will actually think about what I have to say rather then ignorantly mocking what I believe personally. Whatever may happen, I don’t really mind, except that I cannot bring myself to be silent on this issue.

I am a Christian, whatever you may think about me, or absurd assumptions you may have about what I look like, think like, or speak like, realize this, I think all beliefs should be treated with equality. Atheism, Hindu, Buddhist, Christian, Muslim, Agonist, Voodoo, whatever, I don’t care, if you believe that you are correct, then you have every right in the world to believe that with all your heart, and nobody should force you to believe what they believe. Now I also believe in open criticism of any of these religions, meaning your Pastafarian view that openly mocks religion. However, it is also my right to criticize the criticism, meaning though while I believe it is your right to mock, harass, and generally make religious persons miserable, I don’t believe it is morally right.

Atheism is a belief just as much as Christianity. Say whatever you want about facts and how religion is stupid and all those who practice it are all idiots, but it still comes down to the fundamental truth that you must believe this to be more true over the other option. I am again, completely fine with that, and that is why I love America so much, because we CAN believe differently then one another, and still live peacefully (to a degree) together. However, mocking is not the right way to go about arguing your belief.
By the way, here is the definition of mocking:

1. Tease or laugh at in a scornful or contemptuous manner.

2. Make (something) seem laughably unreal or impossible.

To laugh at someone else’s belief that they dedicate their lives to is not funny or humorous, but I believe is rather childish and immature. This is the main reason why I would much rather sit down calmly with an atheist and have a rational discussion about each other’s beliefs, instead of smacking them in the face with a bible, and shouting how they are going to hell for not believing the undeniable truth that is the bible, or worse, calling their belief idiotic and getting my group of friends together and laughing and pointing in his face.

Of course there are people that do this, hence, you, and there will always be people like you. My job is try to convince you to be rational and discuss each others view points.

I could never put myself in your mindset and read this the same way through your eyes. To you, I just look like another idiot who took this seriously and decided to write a concerned letter and waste his time trying to teach you to be respectful, but the truth is, writing this helps me put my thoughts in order anyways.

If you do have one ounce of thought for my beliefs, at least view this letter with respect, and try to think about what I am thinking when I read this:


What I am thinking is that the joke has gone to far. Of course this letter asks for intelligent discussion, and that seems to have never existed in your website, so before I go, let my put it in your language.

Fuck you, and lay off religion asshole.


2,163 Responses to “I spent a while thinking (hate-mail)”

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  1. Holsum Danger says:

    You said, “To laugh at someone else’s belief that they dedicate their lives to is not funny or humorous, but I believe is rather childish and immature.” In my opinion, being ignorant enough to believe a religion is “childish and immature”. Religion is man-made and, therefore, is most likely incorrect. If you haven’t noticed there is a lot more to the world than just Earth. I’m content knowing that I will never know the purpose for life on this planet. Religion is a guideline for morals and nothing more. I’m not sure if anyone agrees with me, but no one on this planet has any fucking clue what is going on. Why waste your life trying to understand it’s meaning. By the time your 80(if you make it there) you may regret wasting away at your Bible when you could have been experiencing the beauty of the world around you. It’s not hidden in your book.

    • Olio says:

      I meant to put this over here and stuck it in the wrong spot.

      People can hold things sacred, have held standards and codes of conduct with and without religion.

      Aside, I was thinking recently that if Jesus is said to have sacrificed himself for sins, volunteered to, that is a suicidal gesture, a suicide mission, which that is supposed to be a sin. Then there is absolution for sins based upon that…it confuses me. Thou Shalt Not Kill …part of the guidelines. So it would seem as if anything which goes on from that point becomes relative. This would be a bad message to send. Not intended to mock anyone.

  2. Paganomaly says:

    I could honestly appreciate bits and pieces of what he said (apart from assuming he’s another loony Christian, Hell bent on beating free thinking minds into submission with a gold plated cross.) until he got to the part where he tried impersonating a member of the Pastafarian faith by rudely saying “fuck you and lay off religion, asshole.” Firstly, I have never heard a pirate use such offensive language, we tend to be quite regal creatures. And thirdly, by using such vulgar, hateful speech and supposedly stooping to our level, he further discredits his own religion by showing the “higher power” he so desperately clings to is in no way real and active in his life. Wasn’t Jesus mild mannered and didn’t he preach acceptance and patience? He must have a different version of the bible than I do because don’t I see much of a resemblance between he and his beloved Jesus. /shrug

    • Keith says:

      The popular image of “gentle Jesus, meek and mild” doesn’t really hold water. Cursing fig trees for not bearing shade, telling his disciples to sell their cloaks to buy a sword, kicking the money changers from the temple because they didn’t follow his ideas of morality and “he who loves his father and mother is not worthy of me”: pretty nasty stuff.

  3. Nick says:

    “Atheism is a belief just as much as Christianity.”
    And therein you are incorrect, my Christian fellow.
    Though a Pastafarian and not actually an Atheist, I do know for one thing that atheism is the LACK of belief. It is not a religion but a group of people who do not believe in God or any god. They see no evidence of god(s) and so they refuse to believe that there is one.

    • The Reverend Toni Rigatoni says:

      You are right of course Nick, but sadly what you say tends to fall on deaf ears; this argument has been made time and time again to no avail (Although we do need to keep saying it regardless, lest we loose by default!). The idea that evidence is required before acceptance can take place is alien to those who can, and do, accept anything and everything on faith alone. For some reason the religious tend to assume that atheists have taken a stance against god rather than just not accepting it in the same way that they don’t accept Thor or Mithra or the bloody easter bunny! It makes me so angry and so frustrated that every time I hear it I want to weep.

      On a different note, I don’t recall seeing your name before, are you a new visitor? If so, welcome to the fold and I look forward to interacting with you in the future.

      May the Sauce be with you,

      The Reverend

      • Olio says:

        Bloody easter bunny? Where? Poor easter bunny. I guess this means no chocolate baskets this year.

        • Keith says:

          You do realise that those things he dropped weren’t eggs?

        • Olio says:

          I can’t tell the difference. I’ve been fed s–t for years.

  4. Steph says:

    you base your belief (and sustain it´s not a belief, but a fact) on well proven facts, like the theory of gravity… LOL I guess they just chose to call it the law of universal gravitation for the LOLs,

    There is not such thing as the “law” of evolution, that´s a theory, get your facts right, and also, the guy you replied to, is on your side Mats.

  5. wolfmanNine says:

    Odin gives big hi fives to FSM!!!!

  6. BRussellsSprout says:

    Atheism is not a belief. It is the absence of a belief in anything magical or supernatural. The fact that the word contains “theism” is because it was created by a true theist. It may seem at times that atheists are anti-religion, and we probably are given one simple fact. Religious people impose their beliefs on us.

    Your favorite color might be red and mine is blue. We can coexist easily together on this planet despite this clear difference of opinion. I believe in evolution, the big bang, and that someday I will die and I will simply cease to exist. You believe in angels, heaven, virgin birth, talking snakes, and if you are like most Christians, that all morality comes from religion. Given that more people have died in the name of religion than any other cause, and the vast numbers of man on boy statutory rapes that are committed by clergy, I would argue vehemently that religion is not the root of morality. Far from it.

    I believe life begins at birth. I’m not a “lust to dust” or “squirt to dirt” kind of guy. I believe in abortion. Not as birth control, but because the world might just be a better place without some folks in it. Since you believe in magic, what about time travel? Travel back to before Hitler was born, or perhaps Bin Laden. Would you abort either of those births if you had the power to do so? Save millions of lives and untold suffering by taking just one? I for one, would not hesitate.

    But how does religion really affect me? Well for one, I can’t recall the last time I was offered an atheist presidential candidate from which to pick. And trust me, I want the guy with his finger on the big red button not to think he’s going to a “better place.” I also recall being forced to recite pledges and anthems all mentioning God. Imagine yourself as a Christian having to say, “one nation under Allah” every morning. Or seeing “in Zeus we Trust” on every stinking piece of currency you possess (lest we forget). Make you uncomfortable? Guess what, me too.

    And let’s say I am ever accused of a crime and have to swear on a bible in front of a jury. Yes, we are given the option not to say “so help me God,” but how do you think this will play to the jury of my “peers?” I quote peers because I do not consider people that believe in magic to be my peers. How ironic it is that a group of people that believe in something based on no objective evidence are asked to make a decision based solely on evidence.

    You don’t like being mocked? What about killed? I know many Christians think the earth is 4,000 years old, but that time window does include the crusades. And I must ask, how were you mocked? It’s not like we atheists erect tall buildings displaying crosses on every-other intersection to rub your nose in our [lack of] beliefs. We don’t wear black ghost costumes or doilies on our heads either. We don’t display ancient torture devices on gold chains, point to the sky when we score a touchdown, or put fish on the backs of our cars (okay, fish with feet maybe, but you guys started it!). And if the numbers are accurate, we atheists are in the minority. So how is it that you are being mocked again?

    Truth be known, it is us atheists that remain largely closeted. We do so because we fear reprisal from the majority. And I might add, a majority that does not hesitate to use violence. Oh yes, He works in rather mysterious ways…

    • Olio says:

      Brussel Sprout,

      If you could travel back in time I could give you a list of to do to take along with. That action you note about Osama Bin Ladin might traumatize his mother some. Maybe just hire yourself as his cook and poison his peanut butter jelly sandwich. Or see that his mom and dad do not meet. He gets the flu on the night of their date and she meets someone else, he never gets born. Something like that. Same for Hitler. Maybe a boulder ruins his picnic. Probably though, the whole set of circumstances leading up to all the tragedy could be altered and change things for the better without that type of intervention I suggested. In case you get that time machine running.

      This is not laughably unreal or impossible either. Regarding that statement defining mockery in above letter. Stuff like this happens. Not sure of the time travel part. But never know.

      • Olio says:

        Nix that idea. Hitler and Osama had food tasters I bet. Probably cannot alter history. If you changed that could be overlooking someone whom would just blow up the entire planet. Then there will be nobody left to go back in time. I did not spend enough time thinking prior to posting. Not like the letter writer.

  7. Laughingcat says:

    For those writing hate mail, or having a hard time for one reason or another, whether aggrieved religionists or non-religionists, I live by the dictum offered by the proto-Pastafarian Wavy Gravy: “If you don’t have a sense of humor it’s not funny.”

  8. NotaSheep says:

    My reply isn’t to the self righteous person that submitted the hate mail, but more directed at everyone else. THIS IS GREAT! I love seeing so many other like minded people in one place. You all have said the same things and made the same arguments that my brother and I have been making for years. It’s funny how “believers” will preach to you at every opportunity, drop pamphlets in public bathrooms, and knock on doors to “spread the word,” and any time we even hint as disbelief, we become public enemy #1. It’s nice to read all your comments, and keep them coming.

    • InHisNoodlyEmbrace says:

      Couldn’t have said it better.

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