I spent a while thinking (hate-mail)

Published June 14th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

I spent a while thinking of a good reply to this, without sounding like some sort of inbred hick or perhaps maybe to get your attention. However, I realize that there pretty much is no way for that to happen, if you put this in your hate-mail section, I’ll probably be mocked just as much as the next guy, who put the stupid comment about how you could never buy a pirate ship. I’m OK with that, I just wish people will actually think about what I have to say rather then ignorantly mocking what I believe personally. Whatever may happen, I don’t really mind, except that I cannot bring myself to be silent on this issue.

I am a Christian, whatever you may think about me, or absurd assumptions you may have about what I look like, think like, or speak like, realize this, I think all beliefs should be treated with equality. Atheism, Hindu, Buddhist, Christian, Muslim, Agonist, Voodoo, whatever, I don’t care, if you believe that you are correct, then you have every right in the world to believe that with all your heart, and nobody should force you to believe what they believe. Now I also believe in open criticism of any of these religions, meaning your Pastafarian view that openly mocks religion. However, it is also my right to criticize the criticism, meaning though while I believe it is your right to mock, harass, and generally make religious persons miserable, I don’t believe it is morally right.

Atheism is a belief just as much as Christianity. Say whatever you want about facts and how religion is stupid and all those who practice it are all idiots, but it still comes down to the fundamental truth that you must believe this to be more true over the other option. I am again, completely fine with that, and that is why I love America so much, because we CAN believe differently then one another, and still live peacefully (to a degree) together. However, mocking is not the right way to go about arguing your belief.
By the way, here is the definition of mocking:

1. Tease or laugh at in a scornful or contemptuous manner.

2. Make (something) seem laughably unreal or impossible.

To laugh at someone else’s belief that they dedicate their lives to is not funny or humorous, but I believe is rather childish and immature. This is the main reason why I would much rather sit down calmly with an atheist and have a rational discussion about each other’s beliefs, instead of smacking them in the face with a bible, and shouting how they are going to hell for not believing the undeniable truth that is the bible, or worse, calling their belief idiotic and getting my group of friends together and laughing and pointing in his face.

Of course there are people that do this, hence, you, and there will always be people like you. My job is try to convince you to be rational and discuss each others view points.

I could never put myself in your mindset and read this the same way through your eyes. To you, I just look like another idiot who took this seriously and decided to write a concerned letter and waste his time trying to teach you to be respectful, but the truth is, writing this helps me put my thoughts in order anyways.

If you do have one ounce of thought for my beliefs, at least view this letter with respect, and try to think about what I am thinking when I read this:


What I am thinking is that the joke has gone to far. Of course this letter asks for intelligent discussion, and that seems to have never existed in your website, so before I go, let my put it in your language.

Fuck you, and lay off religion asshole.


2,161 Responses to “I spent a while thinking (hate-mail)”

  1. Brian Fritzen says:

    Except for the salutation, thank your for your thoughts. I would correct you in one respect. Atheists do not believe. They believe in one less god than you do. That is all. Atheists come in all shapes, sizes, professions, and intelligence.

    What the FSM and Pastafarians do is something you probably would do yourself: fight to keep religion out of science class.

    Sure, we have fun poking the occasional troll, but you fail to see the real work going on here. Check our Kiva contributions. Check our awareness programs about science.

    Again, thanks for the thoughts (that are ruined by the salutation, you really disappointed me there). But just remember to keep your religion to yourself and out of government and science.

    • Brian Fritzen says:

      BTW Recently a man was cured of HIV from a stem cell transplant.


      Let me repeat that. Recently, a man was CURED of HIV from a STEM CELL transplant.

      When George W. Bush was President of the USA he forcibly prevented STEM CELL RESEARCH from taking place based on RELIGIOUS reasons. This breakthrough could have occurred a decade ago and have had a significant impact on AIDS vaccines and treatment. How many people are now DEAD because of RELIGIOUS belief preventing this valuable research?

      Pastafarians and atheists have NEVER prevented stem cell research.

      • PastaPete says:

        Well according to the bible, it would be best not to know about anything, or else it just makes you more unhappy. I guess that includes life-saving procedures and drugs.
        “For with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief.” -Ecclesiastes 1:18

      • Tracy says:


        First off, this is truly an amazing breakthrough and I share your frustration with GW’s handling of stem cell research. As a skeptic, however, I have to point out a flaw in your logic. This scientific breakthrough happened in the UK, not the US. GW’s policies likely had no bearing on the timing of this advancement, and if it did, there is no way to prove it. I can’t remember the name of this fallacy off the top of my head. If someone knows, please enlighten me.

        Lastly, let me again repeat what you said: “Recently, a man was cured of HIV from a stem cell transplant.” How awesome is that?! We have got to stop blocking this kind of research.

  2. Frank says:

    I have found most people on this site to be passionate, but as respectful/disrespectful as they feel they are being treated in the hatemail. I’m not sure how your email will be received, since it is at once respectful and disrespectful (just the last bit).

    As for the mockery and civility of discourse, I do not really have a problem with it, because this is mostly a forum where the like-minded talk to each other. The members of the Church recognize that this is satire, and not an act of disrespect to the religious, so long as they are not being preached to. The point is often made that the satire can be appreciated by non-atheists, though the site has a devoted non-religious following.

    Atheists do not have churches, so there are few places where they can speak to each other. This is why the hatemail is so jarring–it’s like someone wandering into your church basement and trashing you. That is also the reason why the Pastafarians flame the hatemailers. Am I being disrespectful of the religious if I walk into an empty people and insult the religious? No, and I am no more disrespectful if you snuck in without my knowledge.

    You walked into our basement–you are welcome here, like anyone else, but adjust your expectations regarding how you will be addressed. Many people at this site bear scabs and scars from religion, and will not take kindly to your picking at them.

    • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

      Well said, and R’Amen. Thank you for speaking frankly….Frank.
      Many of us are just fed up with the holier-than-thou (literally) attitude of the religious
      disparaging us for not believing in things there has never been any proof of. I mean,
      how do you think the average person would react to my berating them, and telling
      them they deserve eternal torture, for not thinking aliens are controlling us via our

  3. Joe says:

    Austin’s word choice gives the illusion of respect, but in my opinion he doesn’t truly respect our beliefs, because he starts out saying how we aren’t willing to discuss things before he even tries to have a discussion. He also comes across as condescending (not even counting that “Fuck you” thing at the end).

    • Alishaa says:

      Very very true.

  4. CheeseSauce says:

    People here have brought up that Austin appears to want respect for his belief while not respecting ours. While I believe with utter certainity that he should respect our beliefs, at the same time, we should not disrespect his. We’re above that.

    And maybe our title of hatemail is a bit too harsh. Certainly we recieve many items that do count as hate mail, but it’s been brought up before that this label may be causing some people with honestly good opinions about us not to send anything in because of that title. So I propose we simply change it to “Feedback”.

    Austin, you ask us to stop mocking religion. Ignoring that fact that many times, religion mocks itself, have you ever noticed that we are mocked as well? Or that many religions mock each other for the other’s belief? I once had a friend that upon learning that my family was Catholic, basically sat down and told me that every single one of the beliefs in Catholicism is wrong and she mocked the fact that this is what my family believes in. Do I believe in Catholicism personally? No. But yes, I felt angry that she was mocking a set of beliefs that I was raised in just because she disagreed with them. And Austin, you’re mocking us. Your last sentence proved that.

    You bring up that boy who was suspended from school for wearing the proper regalia of a Pastafarian and ask us to see what you see. Well, you never say what you see, so I can’t speak for you. But what I see is a boy from the same state as me and probably the same grade as me as well who dressed up according to what he believes in and got suspended. In the past year, that’s happened several times in NC, mostly with the patrons of the Church of Body Modification. Example : http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/39577039/ns/today-parenting/t/lawyer-judge-tells-school-take-pierced-nc-girl/

    Listen, you came to us asking for respect for your religion. Please give us respect before we give you any.

    • Danny says:

      I think changing “Hate mail (and concerned criticism)” to “Feedback” is a great idea. We’d still receive hate mail, but we’d also be able to see how many supporters we have (I’m pretty sure that the positive feedback would soon make the hate mail a minority)

  5. Randy says:

    “Fuck you, and lay off religion asshole.”…

    You just couldn’t help yourself, huh? Religo-crazies can only keep that “nice guy” veneer on for so long before the seething hate comes out.

    I’ll tell you what though, Austin, I promise to “lay off” your religion, if you promise to keep your violent fairy-tales the hell out of class rooms and out of legislation. Do we have a deal?

    • Insightful Ape says:

      Lay off-as in, giving it the pink slip?
      That would be a good idea.

      • midnight_rider says:

        Religion has been laid off due to fewer donations in the collection plate. Yes, it is sad news for the faithful of the world. Religion would not return our calls Wednesday after repeated attempts for an interview but sources close to religion tell us that it has in fact applied for unemployment compensation.

    • Nicole (Fly) says:

      So, i pop on into this website quite abit, beacuz although im not all that religious, i do believe that there is more than Science that was involved in ‘Us’. I Agree with Randy, in that If you keep to your self, I will keep to myself. I don’t look at FSM as a way of life, I don’t sing the pastafarian anthem, yet… but i do enjoy the frivolity that is to be had when you think of FSM…
      I personaly believe in the earth… im not wiccan, but i have my own conversations with Her. That said… This ‘Movement’ is about Respecting the freedom of Religion, Science, Magic… and even Sceptisism, one of my best Friends is Athiest, and another, Catholic, and Muslim… We get along fine, fun arguments debates, and quite frequently enjoy talking about Pirate Fish and His Noodley Appendages.
      I don’t take this as seriously as some others, but i understand that this is More than an F you to religion. To me, it isn’t even that at all, to me this is a freedom of expression with lighthearted laughter that has a powerfull old on the imagination, And as My Sceptic Athiest says: Keeping religion out of the Science rooms.

      Nicole ‘Fly’

      • Nicole (Fly) says:

        please pardon the spelling errors

      • Lynda says:

        As your Atheist friend I have to say thank you for the honorable mention in your first FSM post. Congrats Fly! And bigger congrats for at least admitting to the horrible spelling lol. I don’t have a lot of friends that I can unload on with filter removed like I can with you and I appreciate it. I just hope that some others would realize, before they decide that hate mail is required, that everyone deserves a forum to express their opinions and this is ours. Once again I say I have never gone to a Christian website to tell them they are wrong. Were I to ever do that I would expect the unfavorable replies. Why? Because that is their forum and I am not an idiot. Even if I were completely rational in my argument I know for fact that I would be getting ridiculed and slandered.. or pitied (which by the way is more of an insult). So please, trolls, feel free to get off of your “poor me” milk crate and take what you are obviously asking for!

        • Attila the Bun says:

          Good point! People go to a website to insult, mock and threaten everyone there, and then have the gall to act surprised when they’re served in kind? What’s sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander!

  6. EinBesucher says:

    “let my put it in your language…”

    I think you’re confusing two groups of people here: Those writing “hate mails” and those who respond to them.

    Maybe I misunderstood, but it sounds like with “your” you are refering to the latter group, aren’t you? If so, I can remember several different “hate mails” using said language, but no answers doing so (except for quotation, of course).

    If it weren’t for that one sentence, I’d really have taken you seriously… but unless I am indeed mistaken, I cannot.


  7. theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

    Maybe Austin has a point. Mockery may not be the way to convert people. Let’s borrow the ways most – if not all – religions got their foothold: the sword and the rack! Let’s see if Austin becomes a Pastafarian when threatened with boiling in water (with just a touch of olive oil).

  8. tekhedd says:

    You don’t want all religions to be treated equally. You want yours to be taken seriously, and ours to be considered a joke. Your letter makes it plain. Liar liar pants on fire, is what I’m saying here.

    I had more rational, calm responses in mind. But, in light of your attitude, I’ll just say fuck you and the donkey you rode in on.

    • tekhedd says:

      (That’s what you wanted, right? Congratulations, now you’re a martyr.)

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