Certificates of Ordination

Published May 9th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

Update — The ordination certificates have been redesigned

Ordination certificates are $25, shipped anywhere in the world. Check out more photos on the order page here.

178 Responses to “Certificates of Ordination”

  1. lolhoofd says:

    @Omnipotent Zombie , woud u place the “Captain” as the Pastafarian version of “priest ot woud that be a seperate rank?
    (tho captain coud perform mariages in the old days)

    on a side not woud that also mean we coud perform Funerals?
    (leading our fellow pirats to our stripery beerfiled heaven)


    • Omnipotent Zombie says:

      1). well silliness aside; in the literal sense, you would need to be able to legally drive a motor vehicle
      2). Anybody can perform funerals, really.

      • lolhoofd says:

        so “priest” and “captian will be probly a diff thing logicwise

    • Shane says:

      So would the hats become more flamboyant as you move from “First Mate” through to “Admiral” and could you pick up metals for say blocking the Westboro Baptist Church from military funerals or anything else they like doing?

  2. Big Guy says:

    I’m not even here and you’re still trashing God get over it you pathetic God haters. Don’t you have anything positive to talk about?

    Point of interests; monkey man aka Insightful Ape I knew there was something weird about you. Now that I know you’re a Muslim I realize what your game is. Destroying Christians is a front for your real objective destroying the US by subverting this form from within. You’re not one of them you’re carrying on a jihad against Americans who are your real target.

    For the rest of you losers your collective hateful vitriol fuels my resolve. Atheist love to hate, you love to distort the truth, you love to create discord and you love to destroy those with faith. You’re all on the fast track to a lonely empty life in a dark hole void of compassion humility and love.

    • lolhoofd says:

      Big Guy, ur not here as defender of Christians, nor as hater of Pastafarians
      ur a forumtrol using Christianty as exuse to break the peace on the forum here (implying a bad personalty)
      no more no less (not implying ur not a Christian or so)

      please show respect for our place for us we dont go to our local church insult them

      ps: replying with more insult or bibical texst proves my piont

  3. Insightful Ape says:

    Luke 23:34 Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.

  4. Mouse says:

    Oh for spaghetti’s sake!
    How big is this thing?
    The metric system ought to be adopted by the Congregation.
    I do want one though…
    Cheers from Sweden.

    • stylusmobilus says:

      A4 by the looks Mouse.

  5. Big Guy says:

    monkey man

  6. wulff says:

    To all my Pastafarian brethren and sistren, while we of the true faith have no organization as such, any who are in the vicinity of or can easily get to Port Washington, WI from June 3rd-5th, they are once again having the Port Washington Pirate Festival. It might be fun for some of us to gather there and celebrate the FSM’s acolytes. For information about the event, go to http://portpiratefestival.com. I hope to see some of you there.

  7. Big Guy says:

    An atheist by definition means you are the one who should be tolerant of others. Atheist shouldn’t live for the hope of spoiling a Christians belief.

    Because you believe in nothing you seek direction and a sense of purpose, because you believe in nothing you seek vision truth and in your secret place you seek salvation. But this crazy FSM aka bin Laden distraction fills your wanting wanton lives. You crave knowledge truth and yes a secret salvation. But you foolishly risk your souls…

    • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

      I’ve already received my “secret salvation”, Big Guy. I freed my mind from Bronze Age superstitions. Try it. The TRUTH will set you free. I believe in plenty – just not sky fairies.

    • Ham Nox says:

      Fallacy #1: Actually, an atheist by definition (a- + theos) is someone who is not theist, which has absolutely nothing to do with what they do believe or how they think they should act. There is nothing in the definition of atheism that says they cannot declare war on all theists if they so desire. FSM knows how people have killed over lesser disagreements than that..

      Fallacy #2: ‘Atheism’ is the null/error position on ONE particular question–“What is God like?”–and nothing more. It’s a term like hairless or non-fiction or null: describing what something isn’t rather than what it is. Believing in nothing is NIHILISM, and is also completely irrelevant to whether or not some sort of supreme being exists. Equating nihilism with atheism is like asking someone what their favorite flavor of ice-cream is, and upon hearing that they don’t like ice-cream at all accusing them of hating all things sweet and delicious in the world.

      Fallacy #3: “you seek direction and a sense of purpose… You crave knowledge truth and yes a secret salvation.” Even if, and this is a wildly contested if, I accept your premise that humans have an innate need for god worship and religion, it does not necessarily follow god is real or that any particular religion is true. If religion is evolutionarily advantageous–perhaps by encouraging them to have more children, or providing beneficial guidelines for how to structure their life, or giving them hope when they would otherwise lay down and get mauled by smilodons–any gene that yields a tendency for it will get passed on to the next generation, and over time the population would accumulate more religiously inclined people than non-religiously inclined people. Evolution might not care a whit whether the people are bowing to a zombie jew or an ancient one-eyed warrior or flying sentient pasta, as long as they’re bowing to ~*something*~.

      I’m sorry, I’m feeding the troll aren’t I? I swore I was going to stop doing that…

  8. Big Guy says:

    An atheist can convince a freight train to take a gravel road

    fortunately Christians fly

    • lolhoofd says:

      even planes need to land somtimes


      • Wench Melody (UK) says:

        Usually true, lolhoofd, bur not if, like the majority of Gib Yug the troll’s post, they are empty and fuelled by an seemingly endless supply of hot air ….

        May we all be touched repeatedley by His noodly appendage.

        M X

        • lolhoofd says:

          i doub a plane exsit that never touched the ground

          after al as babies were all godless


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