Certificates of Ordination

Published May 9th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

Update — The ordination certificates have been redesigned

Ordination certificates are $25, shipped anywhere in the world. Check out more photos on the order page here.

177 Responses to “Certificates of Ordination”

  1. Gnostradamus says:

    We can’t allow unbelievers to get their hands on these holy certificates. Anyone has any ideas?

    Also, I second younger’s comment above.

    P.S. Does anyone find the banner ad under each post extremely misleading? I accidentally happened upon the comment section because I thought it marked the end of page.

    • Big Guy says:

      too late

    • tekHedd says:

      Why not? A lot of believers are unbelievers too.

      FSM allows you to worship other gods. Many claim that atheism is a form of faith. Therefore, you can be an atheist and a firm believer in the FSM at the same time. Right? Further, anyone who believes their non-FSM god is the one true god is an atheist as far as FSM is concerned. However, the previous logic means they can believe their god is the only true god AND believe that FSM is real simultaneously, without contradiction.

      The logic is simple, and only has two or three minor flaws that are easily dismissed through judicious application of denial. :)

  2. Minister Dion says:

    Is there any ideas for true believers of other countrys? Maybe some kind of test or quiz? like a citizenship?

    • Midnight Rider says:

      True believers will spend $46 for this credential. Skeptics will not. That ought to be enough of a test of believership. :) Of course you can go to other sites like ULC and get the ‘basic ordination package’ for about $27. It includes the main certificate suitable for framing, the parking permit to hang on your car mirror, the personalized wallet ID, press pass/consulate placard for vehicle window, clip-on Clergy card and 3 bumper stickers. Just sayin.

      • Encyclodpedia Brit says:

        @ Midnight, you mean it doesn’t include a special hat or collar?

        • midnight_rider says:

          Nope, no Pope-mobile either…lol

        • Encyclodpedia Brit says:

          Well what’s the point of that? I want Pope hat for the kind of money you have to shell out to those leaches.

        • Keith says:

          Make your own pope hat. I seem to recall that VIZ had a cutout one not long ago.

        • stylusmobilus says:

          Yes Keith, I have that somewhere in my cupboard. I thought of gluing bits of string to it to pay homage to His Noodliness.

        • opiesysco says:

          If any of you have seen the crotch protector on the army issued body armor, one would see that it could fit on ones head and it will look just like a camouflage pope hat. I have a picture somewhere.

        • Thomas L. Nielsen says:

          @ opiesysco:
          I’d just like to stress that I am NOT INTERESTED in learning how you found that out.

          Regards & all, rAmen and Aarrr..

          Thomas L. Nielsen
          Ecclesiastical Fashion Advisor

  3. Minister Dion says:

    You should also build a real church with the money or buy an abandoned church…

    • Hazel says:

      Bobby Henderson is raising money to build a Pirate Ship Church. Pastafarian Churches must be ships.

      • SpiritMuse says:

        Wikipedia has this to say about churches:

        “The main body of the building, making the longer arm of the cross, where worshippers congregate, is called the nave. The term is from the Latin word for ship. A cathedral is symbolically a ship bearing the people of God through the storms of life. In addition, the high wooden roof of a large church is similarly constructed to the hull of a ship.”

        So, really, all churches are already ships. All we need to do to make a pirate ship church is take one and make it our own!

  4. Insightful Ape says:

    The troll identified by himself as big guy is a vulture feeding on the attention he receives. He has no objective other than hijacking threads and having 15 minutes of fame. It is best to starve him of the attention he is craving by simply not responding to his droppings.

    • bruceo says:

      Ten days from now he’ll be Raptured up into Heaven and we’ll be rid of him.

    • tekHedd says:

      Agree. Until he starts reading, comprehending, and responding logically to the responses to his own comments, he should be soundly ignored.

  5. Big Guy says:

    Fatima revealed 1917 eye witnessed religious event



  6. Big Guy says:

    Do you idiots not realize you are banishing yourselves into the gray zone when you click me off the page…

    you’re all responding… DA!

    • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

      Hate to break this news to you, Big Guy, but your god and his mom are dumb-asses.
      Revealing “prophecies” to Portugese kids? How about showing up on the Oprah Winfrey show and tellilng us how to avert a war, not that one is coming. That’s about as wimpy as showing your image in a potato chip while thousands are dying by disease, war and natural disasters.

      • stylusmobilus says:

        Hahaha. I just had to laugh, especially the opening sentence.

  7. stylusmobilus says:

    Hopefully tax time, along with a few shirts. Nice.

  8. lolhoofd says:

    are there ather postions exept “official Pastafarian Minister” ?
    i woud be happy with a normal priest one

    and @ Olivier (first post) yhe legally perform mariages woud be a nice addon
    woud love to see a oficial mariage plan by bobby (eg: msuic , rituals and more)


    • Omnipotent Zombie says:

      Arrrgh! There be a VERY important position that all Pirates should be ready to assume; Designated Captain.

      During the celebration of Pastafarian holy days, (Fridays) it would not be uncommon that a pirate consumeth too much grog. In case of such events, have a pre-appointed one on the ready. Also, be ready to steppeth in as Designated Captain in a moments notice. As it was in the old days, many a pirate ship have disappeared when their captain had drinketh too much grog.

      A message from the Pirate Ministry of Health.

      • stylusmobilus says:


      • Thomas L. Nielsen says:

        On a historical side note, more than one pirate during the Golden Age of Piracy was caught due to alcohol-induced incapacitation (i.e. “stinking drunk”).

        One of the more famous/infamous examples is Calico Jack Rackham. From Wikipedia: “[Pirate hunter] Barnet captured Rackham and his crew while they were at anchor (and drunk) in Dry Harbor Bay in Jamaica, October 1720. They were tried and convicted in Spanish Town, Jamaica on November 16 or 17, 1720. Rackham was hanged at Gallows-Point in Port Royal on November 18, 1720.”

        And that wouldn’t have happened if they’d appointed a Designated Captain before opening the rum barrels.

        Regards & all, and rAmen,

        Thomas L. Nielsen
        Technical Consultant
        Luxembourg Advisory Board against PUI

Leave a Reply