You sicken me

Published April 16th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

You sicken me with the fact that you now have my best friend believing in your stupid, sick, blasphemous crap you call a religion! I can tell you what it really is, BLASPHEMOUS, MADE DURING A DRUG BINGE, IDOLATRY THAT WILL HAVE YOU BURNING IN HELL OR ON THE TABLE AFTER THE LAST WAR!!!! I am furious about the fact that there is a religion DEVOTED to SIN OF ALL THINGS! If you don’t change you and all your followers will be in a special place in hell just for IDOL WORSHIPPING, SIN LOVERS LIKE YOURSELF!!! You disgust me and I hope you see the truth before it’s too late.



I need more information on this “special place” in hell you refer to – will there be cake? 



2,466 Responses to “You sicken me”

  1. Clint says:

    Love the Antipastafarian bit at the end — “Antipasto” :D

    Nomnompastay (i.e. Namaste)

  2. Duck life says:

    I am very impressed with your post. Great article

  3. dani says:

    i think that your website is the most retarded thing you can do even if this is a joke this is wrong . you are lucky that God is loving to all of us we were sappos to die but Jesus died on the cross for us and by doing this the evil one is doing work inside of you . we need God , more than you could ever imagon he is knokcking on the door of your heart but you be doing some thing that you don”t hear but he is there he wants to be with you ok yes people wil hate you but what you are doing wether you know ti or not is wrong. ask the lord for forgiveness

    • Clara says:

      You’ve got more than a few spelling issues there my friend.

    • Keith says:

      How can you say Jesus died on the cross for us? According to Christian beliefs he came back from the dead, so it is hardly a sacrifice, is it?

      • sara says:

        Are you serious dude? You obviously have not spent any time studying the religion. Jesus was dead for 3 days total, rose from the dead, because Jesus is God. Jesus is larger than death so that is why he had the ability to rise again. The “sacrifice” was because he was a perfect person that never sinned. This innocent death covered for all our sinful lives. If you understand Judaism, they did the same thing, but with animals. He was just mirroring this practice but with himself as a human. Your understanding of the spiritual world and the earthly world is sad and before you make any comments you should do your research.

        • Captain B says:

          Sara, your understanding of the World is disgusting, propped up by unevidenced assertions, superstition and Biblical forgeries. Keep it to yourself behind closed doors.
          No decent person would endorse torture for ANY reason. You failed the test.

        • Excelsior says:

          You obviously cherry-pick when you read the Bible. According to the Bible Jesus never died. You will find the proof in Luke 23: 42-43. Jesus made a friend of one of the criminals being crucified with him who asked Jesus to “remember me when you come into your kingdom” Then Jesus replied “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in Paradise.”
          So you see, Jesus never died, he went directly to Heaven to meet his new friend there!
          All Christians cherry-pick, because they would become Atheists if they read the Bible seriously!

    • bruceo says:

      Who you callin’ a sappos?!!

    • Captain Birdseye says:

      Dani, which particular god are you referring to? Before you claim there’s only one, your Bible refers to several. How do you know that, by choosing the immoral, psychopathic one, you haven’t failed a basic test of decency?
      At that time, Middle Eastern nations were rife with claims of their particular religious leaders being resurrected.
      The idea of a blood sacrifice to atone for other people’s ‘sins’ is repulsive.

      • sara says:

        Captain Birdseye does not understand respect of other religions. The “sacrifice” was because he was a perfect person that never sinned. This innocent death covered for all sinful lives. If you understand Judaism, they did the same thing, but with animals. He mirrored this practice but with himself as a human. The fact that you use “repulsive” for a thousand-year-old ritual is offensive to religions everywhere believing in a sacrifice being needed. I would like you to pull out where all these receipts are for the nations saying many leaders had been resurrected 3 days or more like Jesus was. Obviously, you think you have a good understanding of religions, but you don’t. This is coming from an educated teenager so do your research next time and show your proof.


        • Captain B says:

          Sara, you are very welcome to feel disrespected. The idea of ‘sacrificing’ (murdering) the most innocent of victims, including animals, in order to gain something, is and was a common, primitive and repulsive superstition.
          The Aztecs had the right idea, but, they obviously didn’t select the correct victims. Try doing your research on the history of religion/blood sacrifice from an unbiased source.
          I don’t care how old a tradition is, we’ve moved on from the Stone Age. It’s not exactly respectful to burn people alive, break them on the wheel, or pour molten lead down their throat, for disagreeing.
          A claim of ‘resurrection’ was and is a common feature of many religions trying to out-do the completion and win credulous converts.
          The claim of Jesus’s resurrection was not reported for several decades after the supposed event, nor are there any Roman records of zombies walking the streets of Jerusalem. Again, try doing some research from an unbiassed source.

        • Captain B says:

          Sara, ‘resurrected deities’ from just the Middle East include: Ugaritic, Baal, Melquart, Adonis, Eshmun, Osiris, Dummuzi, Tammuz, Attis, Dionysus, Asclepius, Achilles and Jesus.
          I haven’t included any from the rest of the World (loads of them), but, Captain Cook’s demise makes an excellent case study for diligent students such as yourself. I would mention Voodoo, but, they don’t seem to resurrect deities.

        • Keith says:

          Sara, do you have any evidence for your claims? Incidentally, have you read the Infancy Gospel of Thomas? According to the text, Jesus was a nasty little prick.

        • Captain B says:

          Didn’t baby Jesus turn his stepfather into a frog or something?
          Obviously, the neighbours never noticed, because sorcery was a capital offense back then, including for those who allowed one to live.

        • Excelsior says:

          There are thousands of Gods worshipped by men from Allah to Zeus. Added together, more people worship other Gods than worship your God. All Gods are Jealous! (Read the first of the Ten Commandments.) How can you be sure that you are worshipping the true God and everybody else is wrong? If you worship the wrong God you will burn in a much hotter Hell-fire than if you didn’t worship him at all! Beware!

        • Captain B says:

          Excelsior, a child stole a fruit off a tree in my garden, despite my telling her not to. I just knew she would do it. It’s so difficult to know what to so. Do you think I should damn the whole World for eternity, or, just her and her family? Do you think killing my son would help?

    • Ashley says:

      Would like to start off by saying that I don’t believe in the Pastafarian beliefs and that I’m an atheist. Visited this site out of curiosity. Wasn’t sure if it was satire, or an honest belief. Still not sure of at the time of me writing this.

      All that being said, what you’re basically saying that god sent himself to die for you to save you from himself, which is completely insane way of doing things and makes no sense at all. Those that don’t believe in him, according to your bible, are sent to a place of eternal torment by your loving god.

      Yes, I am aware of the general argument that it’s us that sends ourselves due to the act of rejecting god. That too doesn’t make sense due to the following reasons:

      1) Nobody would ever want to face an eternity of torture nor would they ever choose endure through such a thing without being forced.

      2) According to the bible, god is all knowing. If that’s the case than god knows exactly what he’d have to do for said person to believe. Before you bring up thee doing this would violate free will argument, which is the thing that most Christians I’ve talked to brought after making this point, (will talk more on free will in the bible in my next point) god of the bible has no problem revealing himself to people like Paul/Saul, and other people in the bible. Considering that, what I’m stating isn’t unreasonable. God can reveal himself if he chooses without any issues/problems at all. He chooses not, which makes no sense due to he’s supposedly a loving god that wants to have a relationship with us.

      3) According to the bible everything happens according to god’s will. Can see this in several places including, but not limited to, Job 42:2, Jeremiah 29:11, Mathew 6:10, Ecclesiastes 3:1-15, etc. Assuming those facts as presented in the bible (gave 4 examples. Could have giving a lot more) are accurate than can there really be free will? The answer is no. If everything happens according to god’s plan than individual free will would have to be an illusion due to it could interfere with god’s plan. Can’t have it both ways. If that’s true than said god creates everything including the people in it, plans their every event without them being able to change/alter it at all, and then he sends them to hell for all eternity for following the plan that he laid out for them. How is any of that moral or a sign of a loving god?

      • Captain B says:

        Ashley, the Bible is a mess of contradictions. About three quarters of the New Testament is forgery, added over centuries. Obviously, free will is voided by any godly interference, such as ‘hardening of hearts’, affecting weather, answering prayers, or ‘guiding the hands’ of those who wrote the Bible. Anyway, Determinism (Cause and Effect) rejects the Christian definition of ‘free will’.
        After centuries of burning alive non-believers, I suspect the ‘God of Love’ is a modern attempt at rebranding, rejected by most Fundies.

        • Ashley says:

          Captain B, you’re sort of right there. Where you’re right that there’s examples of things being copied/added to the bible in the New Testament, there’s also examples of this happening to the Old Testament as well. One example being the flood story from Noah’s Ark being a forgery from the flood story of the Epic of Gilgamesh. A lot of the people I’ve talked to just shrug it off or believe that the alternate source material copied from the bible even though the alternate source material predates the bible.

          Realize there’s a lot of contradictions in the bible. There’s several different sites that are dedicated to tracing them throughout the bible. Most theists accept that and still consider themselves to be Christian. I, for the longest time, was in this camp.

          God hardening pharaoh’s heart is a good example of going against free will. Honestly, I should have included it. Agree with you 100% there. And yeah, realize there’s people that believe in Determinism which believe that there’s no such thing as free will. In hindsight I probably should have brought the fact that there’s over a thousand denominations of Christianity and if the God of the bible was true and he sends his holy spirit to guide them that wouldn’t be the case.

          Yeah, find the rebranding of Christianity being funny as well.

        • Captain B says:

          Ashley, most Christians I know don’t believe a word of the Bible, believing the idea of ‘Jesus as social reformer’.
          Most Pastafarians are well aquainted with the Bible and other ancient texts. I didn’t mention your examples because I assumed you alteady knew of them. Don’t forget the ‘sending a deluding influence’ to ilustrate both the Christian god’s lying and removing of free will.
          The intentional alteration of a single word can completely alter the meaning. In Roman times, everyone was ‘a son (or daughter) of God’. Changing ‘a’ to ‘the’ suggests something quite different. Reconstructionists base their entire theology on miss-translating ‘stewardship’ to ‘dominion’ and the list is just starting. I believe there about 30,000 Christian denominations.
          Fundamentalists hate the idea of Determinism, as they do science’s axiom of Uniformitarianism, because they preclude superstition.

        • Ashley says:

          I honestly didn’t realize that “In Roman times, everyone was ‘a son (or daughter) of God’.” part. Will have to do research on it tomorrow. And you’re right, altering a single word can cause drastic changes in meaning. Regarding denominations, yeah, think you’re right when you said about 30,000.

          Been meaning to ask is the Pastafarians/flying spaghetti monster stuff, is it intended as a satire of religious beliefs or what? Started visiting the site yesterday and honestly don’t understand

        • Captain B says:

          Ashley, “Been meaning to ask, is the Christian stuff, is it intended as a satire of religious beliefs or what?” That’s exactly what the Romans asked when Christians started burning down synagogues and telling Romans that Saturn didn’t exist.

        • Keith says:

          Ashley, Captain B: If you are at all interested in Gilgamesh, the O/T etc. I suggest the “Digital Hammurabi” you tube site.

        • Captain B says:

          Thanks, Keith, I have read the Epic of Gilgamesh. Sara, It seems that developing a religion works best if one absorbs and exceeds the local popular stories.
          The apologetic claim that Jesus’s alleged resurection was ‘better’ than the dozens of competing alleged resurrections is that he was ‘bodily’ resurrected, and the others were transformed in some way. However, considering Jesus allegedly first disappeared then reappeared, then his disciples didn’t recognise him, and then he shot off into the clouds, suggests that he was quite different. Perhaps an actor played his part.
          There are dozens of existing, earlier, ancient funerary wills, instructing servants to secretly steal and hide their body. Empty tombs often won divine status for the deceased individual. Apparently, fraud didn’t bother them too much. This is the context of Biblical so-called historians.
          Personally, I think that Jesus’s body (if he existed) was stolen by grave robbers (very common) and sold for big money to some Jewish Mystery sect for a desecration ritual, to atone for his effrontery.

        • Captain B says:

          Keith, in your opinion, if Jesus had somehow survived or escaped crucifixion, would aspiring Christians have assassinated him and disposed of the body? Was he worth more to them dead than alive?

        • Keith says:

          Cap’n B: In some cases, no. I understand that some offshoots of Christianity believe that Jesus survived the crucifixion and went on to preach in other countries (there is a particular sect in Shingo, Japan that believes this). The resurrection is not mentioned in Mark: i think it is first mentioned in Paul, so the “suffering” part seems to have been the important part to earlier Christians. The death and resurrection bit seems to have just been a bonus thrown in.

        • Captain B says:

          Keith, Ah so, shoddy workmanship by the Roman executioners.
          The execution stakes, only about 2 metres tall and permanently fixed, had pointed tops, sometimes used to fit a cross-beam onto, but, also used for impalement, depending on the mood of the soldiers or a shortage of nails.
          I guess Jesus couldn’t have got that method and survived, but, if he had been telling Romans that Saturn didn’t exist, they may have been tempted to smear pig fat on the stake and sit him on it. You wouldn’t see that depiction of his crucifixion in a Catholic church.

      • Keith says:

        There is an interesting short article on crucifixion in Bible History Daily


        Undoubtedly, different methods of crucifixion were carried out, depending on how long they wanted the victim to suffer. As far as the “empty tomb” is concerned, Bart Ehrman has pointed out that criminals who were crucified were left there to rot and be eaten by scavengers. There is no way Pilate, from what little we know of him, would have allowed a crucifixee a decent burial. It is equally unlikely that he would have been taken down to placate the Jews for the sake of a religious day. It is possible however that sufficient bribery would allow someone’s release but anyone sufficiently blessed with such money (certainly not fishermen) would have arranged a release before the execution.

        • Captain B says:

          Keith, I saw a documentary some years ago on that discovery of the heel bone. The Romans were reticent about recording their methods, but, Greek writers documented the details. A peg to sit on prevented early death from suffocation, which the article doesn’t mention.
          I doubt they left commoners to rot, because wood was scarse and they needed it for their next victims. As per the article, they seem to have released that body intact.
          I prefer the argument that Jesus’s body was purchased by a Jewish sect, for a large sum paid to the guards. Some Jewish records describe a desecration ritual, which provides a motive, and they would have had the money. In that context, an alleged resurrection, which was quite common at the time, may have been a fabrication of the bribed guards.

        • Keith says:

          Cap’n: I don’t think wood was as scarce as that. People tend to decay rather quickly in warm climates. The Romans did not keep people in gaol for very long but I’d say a week or two between executions would have done the trick. Jesus was a commoner and would probably have been dumped in a mass grave. I don’t think any Jewish sect would have wanted him particularly. The coming messiah was supposed to be a warlord figure. If Jesus had been a soldier or a member of the upper classes they may have taken some interest in him.

        • Captain B says:

          Keith, I’ll accept a couple of weeks for commoners; possibly the time between scheduled court sittings. Suitable trees (not olive) were a ten hour walk from Jerusalem.
          A mass grave may have been at the local rubbish dump, where feral pigs would dispose of any bodies or bones.
          The body mentioned in the article didn’t have scavenger’s teeth marks or broken legs, but, it’s only one subject.
          The Stolen Body hypothesis isn’t because Jesus was perceived as special in some way, but, because of his blasphemy of claiming to be. Desecrating his body was intended to appease YHWH (or whichever god they subscribed to) and hasten the True Messiah.

        • Keith says:

          Well, I can’t speak for anyone’s motives for stealing a body. The gospel of John is, I think, the only writing where Jesus himself claims to be divine. Jesus would have been crucified for pissing the Romans off: Pilate by all accounts didn’t give a pinch of shit for what the Jews thought and if he knew that any Jews wanted to get hold of Jesus’ body I think he would have been grimly determined to stop them, just so that he could rub their noses in it. (metaphorically speaking).

        • Captain B says:

          Keith, I understand that stealing bodies was a fairly common fraud, for the purpose of claiming resurrection, ascension and divine status. Retaining crucifixion victims on the stakes for a month would preclude that possibility. Guarding them would not be a pleasant job.
          I’m not aware of Jesus insulting Saturn or burning down temples, like the early Christians did, but, I’m sure you are correct about Pilate’s determination to constrain the troublesome Jews.
          I guess the Stolen Body hypothesis is pointless without evidence that Jesus actually existed, though, it may be intended to explain and dismiss Christian claims of resurrection as a common scam.

        • Keith says:

          Cap’n: You are right. We don’t have evidence for the biblical Jesus, although I do accept that there was a troublemaker named Yeshua (or whatever) who was crucified under Pilate’s maladministration. Apart from that, everything else is speculation. An amusing exercise, but still speculation.

        • Captain B says:

          Keith, I think that people exposed to certain religious assertions, should be aware that claims of resurrection and ascension were a common scam in those days, in almost all parts of the World. Such claims reflect mankind’s most ardent desire: to control Nature.

    • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

      I never understood the “he died for us” stuff. Why did he have to die? Well, to appease a vengeful god the father who supposedly thought “The only way I’m going to forgive all mankind for a minor infraction from a hundred thousand generations ago is for you to torture and kill my son”. Makes more sense the less you think about it.

      • Keith says:

        The bizarre thing is that their god was the tempter by putting the tree in an easily accessible place. He presumably knew what the results would be so he engineered the whole mess in the first place. I guess he was just looking for a reason to kick Adam and Eve out so that he could cosy up to the snake.

        • Captain B says:

          It’s the Bronze Age method of shifting responsibility, along the same lines as ‘but she made me hit her’, and other blame-game bollocks.

        • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

          It’s all part of the guilt trip, too. “How dare you not worship this god after he suffered for you!”

        • Captain B says:

          tFtPtM, that’s two manipulative arguments from dozens that may be used to coerce. Negative conditioning (‘reward’ by the removal of something unpleasant) is a common dynamic in abusive relationships. Try Machiavelli if you’re not familiar with the term or methods.

    • Mr. PastaAnderson says:

      I thought the Lord loved me even if I didn’t believe in him. And whatever happened to respect thy neighbor.

    • Maxime says:

      Although this religion is rather unique, why is the flying spaghetti monster ”retarded” while hindu gods have animal faces or multiple faces/ limbs and i hear no complaints about that? The flying spaghetti monster is just as much of a god as all the others. Pastafarians are followers of a peaceful religion, if followers of other religions criticize their way of living then maybe THEY are the problem. Everyone should be allowed to believe in whatever they want, and anyone forcing their religion upon others against their will is an embarrassment to their god.

      You say ”jesus died on the cross for us” but that is what you believe, and that is okay. Pastafarians don’t, and that should be okay as well.

      Leave them be, it’s their religion, not yours. Do what you want and let them do the same, that way everyone can live in peace. If you hate this page then simply don’t visit it to share your hatred.

      • SillyKiwiMan says:

        Here’s some possible good news at least:


        Let’s see what happens next.


        • Captain B says:

          Yeah, religionists have enforced the idea that they have exclusive knowledge about life issues for too long.
          IMO, to qualify as ‘chaplain’, they should not only be counsellors but also have a degree in the anthropology of religion, or similar.

        • Keith says:

          I don’t see how you can possibly have a secular or atheist “chaplain” since the term distinctly refers to members of the clergy. They should just ditch the scheme altogether and employ people who know what they are doing and who don’t have a particular agendum.

        • Captain B says:

          I think that’s correct, Keith. By definition a chaplain can only be a Christian cleric, even if the institution they minister to is secular.

  4. Excelsior says:

    How do you know that the God that you worship is the real God and all the thousands of others like Allah, FSM, Zeus, etc. are fakes? All Gods are Jealous and if you happen to worship the wrong God you will burn in Hell for 2 eternities and not just one!

  5. wolfie says:

    as a new Adventist pastafist meatballist revised circumspective cranial American minister of (bow head) the FSM…I pray for all whilst they urinate and cut their toenails, that being said…why are my beliefs less or more valid than yours? Ashley…I will pray…after I get a beer, Ramen

  6. j says:

    The hell he is referring to is the special hell reserved for child molesters and people who talk in/at the movie theater.- Sheppard Book

  7. Noah Osmond-Gray says:

    Just saying not hating on the comment but there is a religion called satanism you know that right? also, some cults seem pretty messed up this one is basically a joke it’s much better than some other cults/religions.

  8. Captain B says:

    NO-G, it seems we can agree that any cannibalistic blood-cult that believes human torture can provide eternal life is disgusting.

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