A Warning

Published April 9th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

While I am not of your "religion". I will not trash your website like the majority of the blundering baboons around here, instead I am here to support not your religion, but your attempt to keep religion and education separate. The constitution gives the people not only of freedom of religion but freedom from it. By teaching religion in any public school you are effectively taking away that right. Many, however argue that it is by "majority rules" that the teaching is decided. This argument is stultifying to many of  the proponents of this argument, because if this was true, slavery would still be legal.

I am a Hindu and have an open mind to virtually all religions. I know that this religion is not a real religion; but an attempt to show the errors and flaws of most organized religion and those who support it’s full integration into state affairs. I support your attempt to show how religion should not be taught in public education. The majority of people ranting on your website are not venting against the concept of separation of religion and public education, but against your satire of their religion.

Yet, I must warn you not to take this to far. You’re tab with the word hate mail is almost doing this. I am not worried too much about this, but the whole thing will make some people very irate. It might push some maniac over the edge and cause them to grab a gun and go after you. This has happened in the past, remember Malcolm X? Thus, I propose that you put somewhere on your front page of the site, that this is not an actual religion but an attempt to keep religion out of public schools.

Thank You,

A concerned supporter


I don’t think Nikhil meant direct criticism (or veiled threat) with this message.  

I take issue with the idea of real religion, as if such a thing can be defined and agreed upon.  I’ve said it in the past and I still believe strongly that there is no classification of religion without agenda.  I don’t expect mainstream religion (or a government influenced by mainstream religion) to see ours as a real religion because there is every incentive to see us as something else.  A joke, a way to mock their beliefs.  They will see us in terms that serve their purpose.

Most Pastafarians do want to keep religion out of schools, most of us are against tax exemptions (and indirect subsidies) for religious institutions.  We object to the power religion is allowed in government, and the excuses made for leaders of religion.  We’re saddened that it’s still seen as improper to criticize anything related to mainstream religion.

But this isn’t just because we’re Pastafarians.  It’s because Pastafarians are rational, reasonable, intelligent people who are not driven by any particular dogmatic thinking.  We are individuals who reject the concept of faith-over-reason, of indoctrination, and the fact that we’ve formed a group does not mean that we’ve come to these conclusions because that’s the group opinion.

Why does humor invalidate our beliefs?  I see this argument all the time and don’t understand it.  The idea that FSM is not an actual religion because it’s satire or this or that is obviously a joke – so what?  I’d argue that for the same reason Jon Stewart’s Daily Show has value as actual news, FSM has value as actual religion.  Different, yes, but that is the point.  Not everyone gets it – but again, that is the point.  We reject lowest common denominator indoctrination in favor of nuanced thinking

Is it just that mainstream religion is so utterly humorless?  Most religious people I know have a great sense of humor but I think they would agree that the institution of religion is rigid and stifling.  There are obvious areas where it’s not ok to make a joke.  One of the creepiest things I find about religion is that feeling that everyone is trying to act very serious. 

Our religion may not fit the definition of real religion as defined by outsiders.   But make no mistake – we have no ambition for FSM to be similar to mainstream religions.  How we’re classified is not important to us.  And while we understand that not everyone will get what we’re doing and why we’re doing it, it’s not our intention to offend – but nor is it our highest priority to avoid offense. 

172 Responses to “A Warning”

  1. Evan says:

    people. Let us not pick apart this man’s writing, and point out what is wrong. let’s look at it, and see it’s merits. this man has come much further than many of the people that leave mail, he has expressed respect for what this religion is trying to accomplish. and while he may not see it as “real” punching him in the face for it is a totally wrong way to go. in doing so, we would become no better than the very same religions who many say we mock.

    • cassy says:

      I am of the opinion that if he tells 8us something, he should be able to debate it, and the message should stand.

      • cassy says:


  2. Noob says:

    You consider our religion to be *false*.What does “false” mean? According to us, every religion (that includes your’s) is false.

  3. Sure Bob Sure says:

    “I don’t think Nikhil meant direct criticism (or veiled threat) with this message.”

    Actually I do think Nikhil meant a veiled threat. But I fear not. His Noodliness walks beside me through the Valley of Death, to the land of Pirate ships, beer and strippers, where I shall not want. Bring it, Hindu dude.

  4. Al says:

    Veiled threat?
    Not veiled (“Yet, I must warn you not to take this to far. “) but empty. Nothing he / she / it can do.

  5. OTO93_1333 says:

    You made a point about how not all will understand you, that’s fine. But you say religions need some Humor? Like really? Devout beings looking for answers are not there to be annoyed by foolishness, they are not pretending to be serious, they ARE serous. I guess you don’t know what it’s like to sink your teeth into some good philosophy…
    I don’t usually like Humor, and prefer it if nobody tried to make jokes around me.

    I HATE nearly ALL revealed religions, they are pathetic and weak. I say “revealed” because anybody can be recruited and everyone knows about the faith, because they let their knowledge run rampant, utter foolishness. The masses cannot control themselves, they follow the filth into oblivion, they will pervert anything they get their hands on. Look what happened to Christianity after they fooled their followers into thinking Jesus was real rather than philosophical. The whole “Hell” thing too, what the fuck guys, control schemes much? They got the whole world thinking the old gods are blasphemy… burning the library of Alexandria too?? I will NEVER forgive them for that! … I better stop now, I’m going on a rant… Christianity just fuels my fury, they must be exterminated (Thank Lucifer for the Secular World Order put upon us, or else we wouldn’t be sitting here having this talk)
    A “False” religion is open to the public, only initiates of the mysteries will know what is happening in this day and age. I am part of the Order Of The Black Flame – A Luciferian Sect (We work with the Illuminati on a regular basis)

    I still don’t know why I’m here…. waste of time…

  6. Nkosi says:

    I stumbled across this based on another topic. Very nice site and very good discussions. If fact they are at a level of discourse that is not as common as I would hope for. Keep up the good work..

  7. Bill Johnston says:

    Finally, I have found a religion I can agree with. I am a pastafarion!

    • Rasputin says:

      Dear Bill, WELCOME and keep coming back! Eat pasta, drink beer and get laid. What’s not to like?

  8. Nate says:

    Wow Nikhil, you have clearly demonstrated why this joke of a religion still exists. Because of fools like you. You call the people with common sense, “blundering bafoons,” but listen to yourself. Do you really support the stupid joke that there is a flying spaghetti monster? When I first heard about this idiot belief, I burst out laughing thinking it was a joke. And to support this? You must be stupid. Anyone who said what you did has no common sense whatsoever and needs to do some moral searching to find the truth. The real truth. Whoever came up with this crap was on crack, and I hope you realize that, whoever you are.

    • Rasputin says:

      Dear Nate, Your entry is unclear: Are you FOR or AGAINST the FSM?

      • Rasputin says:

        Dear Nate, I’ve read your other entries and your position is clear. We pray for you to seek our warm sticky creator and find salvation in His noodly embrace. At worst, believing in the FSM is as rational as believing in Jesus. At its weakest, our Noodly Deity is not responsible for war, famine, genocide and hatred like yours is. That makes the FSM much nicer than yours. The FSM wins, and yours disappears in a puff of nonsmoke.

        • Nate says:

          Dear Rasputin, I understand that by simply saying how wrong a person can be will not change them. I cannot say, “Go to Hell you satan follower for not believing like me,” because that is not my job. See, Christians are taught in Church not to judge other people for their mistakes, so technically I cannot force you to come to our side, or criticize you as human beings. But I do feel the need to question how your beliefs came about. Christianity wants only to spread the message of God, which is peace, to treat all people fair, hope, and etc. The reason evil came about in the world is not because of God, but because one one thing: free will. God gave his people free will, so they wouldn’t be like robots, so they could serve him as they pleased. This explains why people do crazy stuff. It was their dicision to create evil, and once you start something, it’s hard to stop. Our God wants only for his people to be blessed, and to prosper in His name.

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