A Warning

Published April 9th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

While I am not of your "religion". I will not trash your website like the majority of the blundering baboons around here, instead I am here to support not your religion, but your attempt to keep religion and education separate. The constitution gives the people not only of freedom of religion but freedom from it. By teaching religion in any public school you are effectively taking away that right. Many, however argue that it is by "majority rules" that the teaching is decided. This argument is stultifying to many of  the proponents of this argument, because if this was true, slavery would still be legal.

I am a Hindu and have an open mind to virtually all religions. I know that this religion is not a real religion; but an attempt to show the errors and flaws of most organized religion and those who support it’s full integration into state affairs. I support your attempt to show how religion should not be taught in public education. The majority of people ranting on your website are not venting against the concept of separation of religion and public education, but against your satire of their religion.

Yet, I must warn you not to take this to far. You’re tab with the word hate mail is almost doing this. I am not worried too much about this, but the whole thing will make some people very irate. It might push some maniac over the edge and cause them to grab a gun and go after you. This has happened in the past, remember Malcolm X? Thus, I propose that you put somewhere on your front page of the site, that this is not an actual religion but an attempt to keep religion out of public schools.

Thank You,

A concerned supporter


I don’t think Nikhil meant direct criticism (or veiled threat) with this message.  

I take issue with the idea of real religion, as if such a thing can be defined and agreed upon.  I’ve said it in the past and I still believe strongly that there is no classification of religion without agenda.  I don’t expect mainstream religion (or a government influenced by mainstream religion) to see ours as a real religion because there is every incentive to see us as something else.  A joke, a way to mock their beliefs.  They will see us in terms that serve their purpose.

Most Pastafarians do want to keep religion out of schools, most of us are against tax exemptions (and indirect subsidies) for religious institutions.  We object to the power religion is allowed in government, and the excuses made for leaders of religion.  We’re saddened that it’s still seen as improper to criticize anything related to mainstream religion.

But this isn’t just because we’re Pastafarians.  It’s because Pastafarians are rational, reasonable, intelligent people who are not driven by any particular dogmatic thinking.  We are individuals who reject the concept of faith-over-reason, of indoctrination, and the fact that we’ve formed a group does not mean that we’ve come to these conclusions because that’s the group opinion.

Why does humor invalidate our beliefs?  I see this argument all the time and don’t understand it.  The idea that FSM is not an actual religion because it’s satire or this or that is obviously a joke – so what?  I’d argue that for the same reason Jon Stewart’s Daily Show has value as actual news, FSM has value as actual religion.  Different, yes, but that is the point.  Not everyone gets it – but again, that is the point.  We reject lowest common denominator indoctrination in favor of nuanced thinking

Is it just that mainstream religion is so utterly humorless?  Most religious people I know have a great sense of humor but I think they would agree that the institution of religion is rigid and stifling.  There are obvious areas where it’s not ok to make a joke.  One of the creepiest things I find about religion is that feeling that everyone is trying to act very serious. 

Our religion may not fit the definition of real religion as defined by outsiders.   But make no mistake – we have no ambition for FSM to be similar to mainstream religions.  How we’re classified is not important to us.  And while we understand that not everyone will get what we’re doing and why we’re doing it, it’s not our intention to offend – but nor is it our highest priority to avoid offense. 

172 Responses to “A Warning”

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  1. nunya biz says:

    gluten is not healthy for most, let alone persons with a known intolerance or allergy.& the inabilty to break down & properly digest can lead to what amts to opiates in the system, it is a neurotoxin once it permeates your gut lining…it creates / contributes to what is called leaky gut syndrome, tho not alone…& not anti pasta, just pro gluten free pasta..or even sphagetti squash (4 those whom doubted, c…it is provided in vegge format)- any1 with ragweed allergy may have issue with certain foods as squashes, tho. Just ur public service announcement for th day.

  2. BrightWhite says:

    The First Amendment In the United States, the religious civil liberties are guaranteed by the First Amendment to the United States Constitution:

    Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

    Hmmm . . . I don’t see anything here about freedom “from” religion. Nor do I see anything here about the believers in a Flying Spaghetti Monster not being able to express their views on whatever topic they want. Fettucini for the win!

    • Jeff says:

      RAmen! Indeed it does not mention freedom FROM religion, and that is where I have the problem. I get pissed off driving down the highway and see a 60 ft cross built on the side of the road, billboards telling me I’m going to hell, and signs everywhere that say “Jesus Saves”. People can believe what they want, but they shouldn’t be able to throw it in our faces. I get that a “religion” is supposed to attempt to recruit new members (like a cult, but lets face it theres no difference besides govt approval) but it does not have to be so incredibly shoved down our throats. Have a sign that has the name of your church this exit, just like a gas station. Religious types can continue to be uneducated and believe that the stuff in their books actually happened, but its a part of our freedom to not have to be force fed it. Would you like it if I posted a giant FSM on the median of I-95? Or a bilboard showing that religions all are based off of a single point and EVOLVED into the different ones we have today. Or point out that with whatever “help” religions have done throughout the years, they still havent made up for their ridiculous wars over nothing. No, the churchees would lose their minds that it’s offensive.
      Sure the Constitution says that we are free to believe what we want, but look closer, “In god we trust” “One nation, under god” “God bless America” Not to mention that a study has shown that more Americans would vote for someone who is homosexual, than one who is atheist. (by all means do I not mean homosexuality is a bad thing, I could care less who you love, freedom!) But with how big of a deal we make being gay, it seems kinda nuts that you are gonna not vote for someone simply because they don’t believe in a higher power. They would rather vote for someone who may be “praying for the answers” rather than someone who is gonna use rational thought.
      And going on the lines of right to peaceably assemble, Westboro Baptist Church, so wrong on almost every level.

      In response to jimm, in the next post, 1) learn to spell religion if you are going to argue for it. 2) an insult to faith? it’s a spoof, just like a movie or weird Al song. Faith is something used when people cant think of an answer or solution to an issue. “Damn I failed my science test again, it’s ok though, I have faith that I will graduate.” Faith is an excuse for uneducated to not have to learn anything, and is also the reason we have extremists. They allow faith to run their lives and all of a sudden we have serial killers, suicide bombers, and the Westboro Baptist Church.

      As an atheist, I used to not care about religion, live and let live ya know? But after some years of seeing what religion can do (3 of those years in the mid east) how it can rip apart a country, turn families against each other, and how people miss the message of religion. I have made it my mission to educate people. I know it may seem a little hypocritical, but someone has to do it, or the world will never learn. Open your minds! give in to what we have learned. There are answers to your questions!!

  3. jimm says:

    This religoin is fuckin shit and is an insult to faith.

    • Alphy says:

      I have faith that Geezuz will cum again down out of heaven just like the tooth fairy and he is going to rapture me up into the sky to be with him and all other Christians. That’s also why I believe in flying saucers, extraterrestrials, space monsters and the boogy man. I am not superstitious. I just have faith in the supernatural becuss I loves Geezuz and stuff. Of course when I say christians I mean only protestant fundamentalists, the descendants of the puritans, who killed quakers and burned witchs to death, the so called born agains. Did you actually think that I meant someone who believes in the divinity of Jesus Christ, someone like a Roman Catholic or an Episcopalian? Hell, Fuck, NO! I meant only us narrow minded self righteous fundy whack jobs!

      I am a religious nut Cake and I have faith that Geezuz is going to snatch me up into the sky to be with him. I also have faith that he will not let me hit a power line when he snatchs me up or be hit by an airplane. Gravity will be no more! Hallelujah, I’ll fly away! Oh, Glory! I’ll fly away.

  4. Olio says:


    Religion is not a guarantee of faith to start with. And if this religion matches that descriptor you assign it, so would other religions. So I have gathered from trying to read the about page. I am not an expert in f—-n s–t. So may not be the best person to respond to this.

    • Keith says:

      I think people like jimm visit this site because they are not allowed to swear in church. They therefore need to vent their childish frustrations somewhere else.

      • Alphy says:

        I suspect you are right. You know that profanity is a fucking god damn sin and he will go to fucking god damn hell for swearing.

        Shit, maybe, I’ll see Jim in hell while I am down there kissing the devil’s ass for dinner.

  5. Religions vs Atheism says:

    I believe religion provides a means for people to do what they wish to when their own morality opposes it. It is a bridge that permits them to overlook their own conscientious reaction, because the tenets of any given religion are provided as god-sent. Therefore, their selfish interests become god’s will.

  6. Religions vs Atheism says:

    I believe religion provides a means for people to do what they wish to when their own morality opposes it. It is a bridge that permits them to overlook their own conscientious reaction, because the tenets of any given religion are provided as god-sent. Therefore, their selfish interests become god’s will.

    • Keith says:

      That probably explains why the Judaeo-Christian god is so incredibly selfish.

  7. Daric says:

    I’ve noticed some things lately. Atheists tend to think that religious people are the ones shoving their beliefs in everyone’s face and trying to make them convert. My friend (who I will say, IS a Catholic, even though I am not) was talking to me, and we realized that it is really the atheists who are doing all this.

    • TiltedHorizon says:

      I have been married to the same woman for 20 years, I am an atheist, she is catholic. In these 20 years, we tried to marry in church (to make her happy) and were refused 7 times, we have been denied being god parents because my ‘lack of belief’, we are trying to foster but our paper work with catholic social services is always being lost. Thankfully the city, working as a secular authority, married us, our friends consider us god parents to their children regardless of what the church thinks, and the secular Children & Youth county program is processing our home study. I have a lifetime of examples which say your option is without base.

      This is not to say that there are no extreme atheists, some of them can be just as bad as fundamentalists but as a whole we are are laid back bunch, non-confrontational, happily living our lives to the best of our ability until someone thinks it’s OK to impose their will over others on the basis of their faith.

      Google: “Dennis Markuze” who was arrested for death threats against atheists.
      Google: “Charles Worley” a pastor who wants to corral all “gays” behind electric fences.
      Google: “Fred Phelps” a pastor who uses the funerals of fallen soldiers to preach hated for homosexuals.
      Google: “Ken Ham” who wants to teach his brand of creationism in school so you can learn how dinosaurs coexisted with humans and did not live millions of years apart.

      You want more? I have hundreds of examples, these are just the most current.

      • Olio says:

        ‘ for 20 years’


      • Olio says:

        About Worley you mention wishing to round up folks behind electric fencing. I believe there are ordinances preventing that application from passing certain channels. Plus if someone had an implanted medical device and touched that fence, we would see death sentences carried out. Which seems a bit excessive punishment for anything short of serial murderers. I see holes in that plan. But since you brought it up, I have an idea to round up Worley, Markuze, Phelps & Ham, to have them invited to stay in the enclosed space mapped out by Worley. With the people he proposed to serve time in there on the outside of the pen. They will all be separated technically. Since its his plan, I don’t see any objections to him trying things out in there himself. The others are just to keep him in the company he is accustomed to which should meet his approval. Let me know what you think of this proposal.

    • Omnipotent Zombie says:

      Daric, it may seem like that, but the truth is the period we are living in now is maybe the safest time ever to be an atheist. (Speaking for Western based societies only) Revealing yourself as an athiest always earns you some form of ostracism; whether it be in the form of nasty rumors, social or job discrimination, or some times out right violence. But it still beats previous centuries where the crime of athiesm could be punished wiith and not limited to incarceration, torture and death.

      So yes, athiests have become louder, if only because we don’t have to whisper anymore.

    • TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

      I have seen plenty of atheistic messages which were defaced. Never saw a religious one done that way.

      Ever had atheists come to your door to hand out pamphlets, or been approached on street corners to NOT join in a prayer?

      Ever gone to a public, secular function and had a statement of DISbelief start it off?

      Ever heard an atheist tell a religious person they were eternally damned for their faith?

    • The Rev Toni Rigatoni says:

      You will have to do better than that Doric, you’re up against atheisms finest here!

      May the Sauce be with you all.

      The Reverend

    • Drained and Washed Clean says:

      Doing all of what? Attempting to take over the government and run the country like a theocracy? Definitely not the atheists trying to do that.

    • Armadildo says:

      The religious have been shoving their beliefs in everyone’s face for so long you don’t even notice it any more. You consider those things normal. For example, religious processions probably seem normal to you, and not “shoving your beliefs into other people’s faces”. Yet a FSM one would probably be seen as exactly that.

    • Maverick says:

      Hmm i sincerely doubt the truth of this.
      If that is true,why have I never seen any atheist hand out flyers or talk to me on the streets,trying to “Talk sense” into me?

      You cant compare a forum like this,where indeed a lot of atheists are venting their opinion on religion,to what happens on the streets.

  8. Noodle Seeker says:

    I like egging on wack-jobs as much as the next person, largely they are the yeast particles in the bottom of a well made beer. Slightly unsightly but harmless and easily ignored. Reading the hate mail gives me a chuckle in the same sort of way. However. I feel the the posting of the Hindu chap made a valid point. Having all the wackadoos and doom cryers under the tab of ‘Hatemail’ might be less peaceful than the FSM (praise his noodle-y goodness) intended. Therefore I respectfully suggest the tab “Hatemail” be changed to ‘Counter-Opinion’ with a sub-tab for the three thumbers who can only communicate with a leavening of cuss words.

    On the bright side, I made buffalo meat balls in sauce (made from scratch, peeled my own tomatoes, went out and cut garden herbs, used the garlic and shallots my g/f organically grew) with home made spaghetti for dinner and I have to say it really rocked! Buffalo has a very ‘meaty’ flavor, sort of like spicy beef but darker. I use rough chopped onion and garlic for the meatballs, the sticking out bits caramelize wonderfully and give a slightly BBQ flavor to the proceedings. To make perfect meat balls that don’t fall apart on cooking, put the finished meat balls on a plate in the freezer for a good hour or more until they start to harden. Then fry in a quite hot pan, you just want to seal the outside, not cook them through. An hour in the tomato sauce will take care of that.


    • Keith says:

      Beside “Hate Mail” is (and Concerned Criticism). This sort of covers the people people who write in without condemning us all to perdition. Granted, it is not as big as the hate mail label but the size of the lettering just about reflects the amount of genuine concerned criticism this site gets as opposed to the mail written by people who foam at the mouth and fall over backwards. The description of your meal makes my mouth water (not foam).

    • The Reverend Toni Rigatoni says:

      NS, perhaps a second sub-tab for recipes?

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