I can appreciate a good joke

Published February 15th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

I can appreciate a good joke as much as any other guy.  But there’s a difference between making a joke and insulting other people.  When you begin to bring in specific religious practice or condemnations for not doing as the religion "requires," that becomes an insult.  Think of it this way: your website is good, but what’s the point of your occasional advertisement on the bottom with a picture of the religious book of FSM saying "Save Your Heathen Soul"?  It directly says to others that if you don’t believe what we tell you, you’re wrong and going to hell.  Yes, I’m a Christian, no I don’t believe most of the things in the church’s past were okay.  I simply choose to believe that there is a God, and if anybody has any questions about my faith, I’ll be happy to answer and guide them if that’s what they want.  If they believe otherwise, I’ll allow them to stay that way, because there’s nothing I can do to force their belief.  All I’m really saying is, think about what purpose each thing you say serves, and whether it’s taking it a step too far.

The point of our church is not to offend, but understand it is bound to happen.  Most of us in the Church of FSM are not anti-religion, and we have many Pastafarians who are active members of mainstream religions.  Part of what we’re doing here is questioning ideas considered rude to question.  Or, knocking down religion a peg – however you want to look at it.  We think it’s a dangerous situation for institutions and ideas to be above scrutiny.  

At the risk of spoiling the “Save Your Heathen Soul” joke, I’ll explain it.  You see, Christians often threaten nonbelievers with THEIR hell-place for various sins or sinful lifestyles – either explicitly, or indirectly, or in a judging veiled-friendliness sort of way.  But nonbelievers DON’T BELIEVE IN YOUR HELL.  Aside from the fact that we find it offensive the idea that we need a rulebook to define our morality, it is a strange proposition to be invited to believe in scripture in order to be saved from a consequence of it.  The “Save Your Heathen Soul” joke is a nod to other nonbelievers who have experienced this phenomenon. 

But, DJN, I honestly like Christians, the majority of those I know – and my experience in running the Church of the FSM has only increased my opinion of Christians (really).  I believe that the majority of Christians are thoughtful and open-minded, and that most are members of churches partly because of a belief in God, and partly because of the social benefits and community that being part of a church allows.  I get a ton of emails from thoughtful Christians who understand what we’re doing here at the Church of FSM – people like you who don’t approve of the abuses perpetrated in the Name of God. 

So, understand that around here there is an effort not to offend people, but at the same take a hard look at the strange business of religion. And in this way we give Glory to The Almighty Flying Spaghetti Monster, the one and only True God, who someday I hope Touches you with His Noodly Appendage so that you may know His Loving Embrace. 


385 Responses to “I can appreciate a good joke”

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  1. nunya biz says:

    our nice neighbor came by & asked me: ur meshugena, arent u?
    not nice. THAT. MESHUGENA indeed. WHO does that?

    • nun sequitur says:

      & i m not saying i m not…it just is very distressing 2 have people point it out in this manner.

  2. nunya biz says:

    i had a coworker elsewhere ask me if i m jewish, was my name, i answered yes…he began telling me how i needed 2 ask 4 jesus 2 enter my life, how he was aware i was in pain , etc & this would help, it does WORK, if I ONLY BELIEVED, (paraphrased) & gave me detailed instructions how 2 do it & 2 go & say specific things…he neglected closing procedures in his fervor & @ least admitted what happened…as when i was asked about the error, i did report this & how as well i dont kno what 2 do, becaus now in very awkwrd position & uncomfortabl there, becaus i feel this would continu& not want 2 get any1 in troubl, , ,so forth so on..am reassured that he will b spoken 2,,,THE REPLY involvd a sort of apology wrapped in a ribbon of contempt. It was not really an apology. How he had said i need saved, etc & THEY AGREED but, how ANYONE is welcome 2 work, there. THIS made me still uncomfortable & even more, now that mgr also involved…another place, i had it told 2 me, mgr said,while i m away for a bit, b4 returning…to person whom told, me …any1 NOT accepting christ goes 2 hell & she dsnt care wht any1 says (2 contrary) m going 2 leave it @ that.

    • Madcow says:

      I am Jewish too, and I do believe that Jesus is the messiah. I attend a messianic synagogue where we call him by his hebrew name Yeshua. Yeshua is Jewish and he came first to the Jews and then the Gentiles. Sometimes people shove him onto others, and it can be awkward or even push people away. It is a bad idea for them to force their beliefs and I think a better way would be to allow G-d to work in peoples lives. I hope that your coworker doesn’t make you unwilling to hear about Yeshua. The Jews are G-d’s chosen people, and he loves them and wants them to love his Son. G-d wants the best for you and I hope you know that.

      • nun sequitur says:

        Pffft…madcow, sweetheart, i was fired from a job due 2 this s-t & it was disguised as something else…i was being told the hellfire remarks which the manager, whom glared @ me often, would contribute behind my back…& lets just say, nobody was crying crocodile tears when i was bullied 2 leave the other…enuf said. My current partime coworker & boss is my spouse, so i m not so much concerned that way & will stop @ that…

        • nun sequitur says:

          & if by messianic u mean what i recall, by the way, i urge u 2 cease & desist @ once. U made the visigoths the original ones, really proud today…

        • nun sequitur says:

          @ least u would not need 2 worry about the floggings,,,theyd have prob left u b!

      • stylusmobilus says:

        Just wondering, do you call G-d Y-W-, -H-H, or J-h-v-h? Given that J-s-s is G-d’- own f-t-e-, should you not be calling him Y-s-u-?

        You know, you shouldn’t force your beliefs on others by telling them the Jews are G-d’- chosen people. A Jewish Xtn recently told me that. Just thought I’d pass that along.

        It would be interesting to see the conversation he has with himself when they return. Something like ‘I want the best for you, I’m gonna kill people, I AM MY OWN FATHER…..’

        • nun sequitur says:



          It explains the concept behind the practice of writing g-d. ..i do not think xmen powers have specifically to do with the judaism per se, or that these are even powers, specifically, but experiences; the g-d is 2 = respect & deferrence similar 2 kissing a dropped prayer book. I actually have no recollection of any rabbi mentioning chosen as a term, but countless christians have by now mentioned it to me…which is the only way i became remotely familiar with it.

        • nun sequitur says:

          & the i m my own father thing, beyond my scope entirely…as i mentioned.

        • nun sequitur says:

          & for the record, i am not a spokesperson for judaism, nor am i pretending 2 b.

        • nun sequitur says:

          as displayed on THIS end, there was a comment including a referrence 2 a comment on another blog…concerning an XMEN referrence & the difference between ‘powers’ vs ‘experiences’…th xmens referrence was making light of, it; NOW, on review- the REMARK IS GONE. So, either someone is playing games with me on this site, or the DISPLAY end, on this device, is AGAIN being TOYED WITH & to whomever is doing this, it remains UNAPPRECIATED.

          THIS is the sort of thing i refer to- i respond to what is displayed & end up looking like the as*hole & whomever is responsible, for the bait & switch here remains NOT ONLY completely anonymous, but has no retaliatory measures taken nor repercussions. NOT cool. & targeting an easy target makes u even more LAME.

        • Wayne says:

          You are not being targeted. It has happened before with other posters, so you are not alone.

        • nun sequitur says:

          if u wanted me 2 LEAVE just SAY, LEAVE & in CLEAR LANGUAGE, not this subversive s-t. Trying to have my sanity questioned further is exceedingly unacceptable.

          incidentally i have screenshots of some of the b.s. with the device, but becomes MY BURDEN 2 prove, which is a challenge.
          i am already being fg marginalized, so whomever did this is unkind & subversive prick.

        • nun sequitur says:

          Wayne, ONCE again, no reply button; u have NO idea what level of spoofing we have had NOT limited to here, NOR limited to spoofing…i have larger issues. I am asking again for my posts b REMOVED, all. I made a contribution 2 site & will do so again…for efforts. This remark is irrelevant, that it has happened to other posters, because it is the OPPOSITE of what we have been elsewhere told. HEAD GAMES. If u would REMOVE the comments, thatd b HELPFUL.

  3. Sauce of Life says:


    Thanks for your heart warming note to us. And, thanks for offering to answer questions about your religion/beliefs.

    I only have a few questions:

    1. If your God created the Earth, which is over 4.5 billion years old, why did it take him 4.49999999 billion years before he sent Jesus to it?

    2. If your God created humans in his likeness, and we obviously evolved from earlier hominids based on the fossil record, does this mean your God is in fact a Neanderthal? Does he have a contract with Geico?

    3. Why hasn’t your God’s words (Bible) been found fossilized in some prehistoric cave that can be dated back to the beginning of time?

    4. Is there free cake in your version of hell, and if so, what kinds?


    • nun sequitur says:

      ….’years before he sent jesus to it?’

      because…god was a procrastinator?
      or…various angels kept bugging god. CENTURY after century, after century…pssst, god, u need 2 represent down there…& god said yeah, yeah, ive been thinking about this….centuries go by…the angels r not heard & earths needs r neglected…finally, a bunch of angels gather together. They staged a PROTEST. They were about 1% of all the angels. 99% felt helpless or indifferent. ..the 1% finally did it. THEN, everything dissolved into what we have today-a good idea gone horribly wrong, somehow…

      ‘WHAT if GOD was one of us….Just a SLOB like one of us…just a STRANGER, on the bus, trying 2 make his way home….back up 2 heaven, all alone…nobody callin on the phone…’ – joan osbourne

      • nun sequitur says:

        Maybe god was depressed because he was alone & started imagining things, including an entire universe (or planet, or planetary system) & jesus was a dream one day, was willed into being like a thought mass & now, like a nuclear bomb it is already here in this realm & cannot b UN created…

    • Madcow says:

      The earth is not over 4.5 billion years old, and the reason he waited to send Jesus was that the world wasn’t ready for him yet. He sent prophets to prepare the world for him. Also Romans were building the first good roads around the time that Jesus came, so God sent him at a time when the Gospel would be able to be spread more easily around the world. If you are asking why he didn’t send him now when we have the internet and phones and all that, it was probably because we have to much junk cluttering up our lives that they didn’t have back then. It was easier for them to accept him.
      Humans did not evolve from apes. We don’t see monkeys or any other animal evolving into anything else now, so why are people so convinced that it happened “millions of years ago” It has been discovered that the sun is getting hotter and hotter. It would have been to cold for life to exist millions of years ago anyway.
      The Bible didn’t exist at the beginning of time. Instead it was written over a period of time by many different people. It has more authors than any other book, yet it never contradicts itself. In ancient times people could actually be killed for making a mistake while copying it. If you can imagine, it hasn’t changed much since it was written. By the way, some writings of the prophets have been found in caves by the dead sea. They were not dated back to the beginning of time, but you might want to check it out anyway. The are called the dead sea scrolls and I am pretty sure they were written by the prophet Isaiah.
      I hope you are joking about about the cake. God is not some serious police man who is going to smite you for smiling, but hell is no laughing matter. I am not saying I know what it is going to be like, but it is not going to be pretty. When Jesus comes back, he is coming to kill people. Yes, he is the lamb but he is also a lion. People who don’t believe are going to spend eternity in the lake of fire (hell). Read the book of Revelation. It is the last book of the bible and tells about Jesus’ return. It is a scary book, but I hope that I am around for it. The Jews are starting to turn to Messiah, and God said that he wouldn’t return until the Jews believed. It is coming soon, so everyone better decide where they stand on this.

      • stylusmobilus says:

        There is good evidence to suggest that the earth is approximately 4.5 billion years old, and plenty of evidence to debunk the lie that it is less than 100,000 years old and created by a sky zombie daddy who became his own son. This was the first site I found. This is good enough, so I didn’t bother to search further….


        As is common with most Xtns, you state irrevocably that ‘Jesus came’, ‘sent Prophets to prepare the world for him’, ‘God sent him’, and he wasn’t sent now PROBABLY because…’ without one shred of evidence to back your garbage up.

        Humans DID evolve from apes, because this is proven. To give you a brief analysis on how this happened, the trees started to disappear due to climactic changes (proven), various species of monkeys adapted to living on the ground (proven) then started to walk on two legs freeing up their forearms and improving their dexterity (proven), grasses replaced trees in certain areas on the planet (proven), food became more readily available through these grasses (proven), monkeys made further adaptations in the brain through evolution caused by the improved supply of food thanks to the grasses fully becoming neanderthal men (proven), the neanderthals adapted their brains and arms even further to use weapons for hunting, build structures to live in and eventually cultivate crops (proven). You do not see all evolution happen in the blink of an eye but there are examples of how it works visually available and even in front of your eyes today- examples, virus adaptation, and magpies learning how to turn cane toads over to feed on the non-poisonous section. Your argument about it not happening right now before our eyes to monkeys is strawman and a typical weightless example of a Xtn fighting a losing rearguard action.

        You’re right, the Buybull did not exist at the beginning of time because for this Earth that was 4.5 billion years ago. The fact that it was written by many different PEOPLE makes it more open to being a contradictory load of rubbish. Doesn’t contradict itself? Again, you have proven that like most Xtns who post here you have less knowledge of the book than we do. I suggest you go read it again. I have, twice, and each time found several contradictions. You have no idea who wrote the Dead Sea Scrolls, and neither does any one else. So, therefore, you say you’re ‘pretty sure’. Hahahahaha.

        ‘Despite decades of excavations and careful analysis, there is no consensus about who lived there—and, consequently, no consensus about who actually wrote the Dead Sea Scrolls.’ Andrew Lawlor, Smithsonian Magazine.


        No, we are not joking about the cake, we really do hope there will be cake in hell. If you don’t know what hell is like then how on earth can you say it is no laughing matter or not going to be pretty? For all you know, your indoctrinator may have lied to you and it may have cake, a spa bath, plenty of beer (although somewhat stale) and heaps of strippers (although somewhat ugly with STD’s). I have read the book of Revelation, I rate to to be up there with the best descriptions of hallucinogenic drug use I have ever seen. How do you know what God said? You have already proven how unsure or just plain wrong on other points.


        • Keith says:

          Just came across some articles about another nut job named Herman Cummings who claims to be the leading authority on Genesis. Apparently he does not understand evolution, although he seems to have written more than Madcow but with equal eloquence. http://vyoma108.blogspot.com/2007/12/looking-for-something-droolingly-insane.html . With so many cranks crawling out from under the rocks it’s amazing Americans can keep track of them. Is there a National Database of loonies or something over there?

        • nun s equator says:

          Yes, keith, i am compiling that database, currently…everyone using the terms nutjob, loony etc due to a poverty of imagination during discussions goes on the list…congratulations ; )

          & about madcow

          that is the only madcow i care 2 discuss. no offense 2 madcow. if it was not 4 ur name, id not have gone 2 the site…props, respect.

        • Bill Coberly says:

          I would rather go to heaven because they have 200 ft long oysters. I calculated this from the description of the door of the gate being made from single pearls. The doors, or pearls would be about 8 or 9 ft diameter. The oyster would need to be at least 200 ft. Keep your cake in he’ll…I want to see those big oysters.

        • Zach says:

          Lol dude finally something i don’t cringe reading tyvm for being a bit open minded oh and i love the buybull pun lol

        • Zach says:

          In responce to Keith yes there is and i really beg someone to buy me a one way ticket to the middle of the Pacific so i can get away from them

      • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

        “Humans did not evolve from apes. ”
        True! Apes and humans evolved from a common ancestor.

        “We don’t see monkeys or any other animal evolving into anything else now”.
        Do you see constellations flying apart, or does the Big Dipper look the same year after year? The individual stars making it up are separating at tremendous velocities, however. You are dangerously misinformed about evolution. Pick up a book on the subject before you voice your pastor’s opinion.

        • nun sequitur says:

          ‘does the big dipper look the same, year after year?’


          it looks slightly more blurry,
          mainly when eyeglass script goes unupdated.

          it isnt just his pastor, either, thefewtheproud, we knew an esteemed scientist whom feels evolution is outmoded & he claimed, a ‘tool’ 4 fundamental atheism…i m dead serious (but still, notably, alive)

        • nun sequitur says:

          The few the proud PAGE UP a bit & c mad cow witnessing to me concerning what god wants for me…is deluded if he/she believes she/he can speak, let alone for god, on what is best for ME; & needs to attend to furthering education about matters as suggested, instead of pretending 2 have all answers i think, what with my remaining 2 braincells…
          & there MAY b people whom know whats best 4 me, but not madcow…heshe scares me…

      • nun sequitur says:

        Blah blah blah. I was sexually harassed by someone attending that temple & i will not tell u what worship he was interested in because i never stuck around to find out…never mentioned jesus, tho! just told me HEY…im jewish TOO! …I had not asked.

      • Insightful Ape says:

        Yes I agree. Read the book of revelations. It is a good example of what hallucinogens can do on human mind.
        Above all, it says the only ones who will be saved are 144,000 virgin male jews. Sorry madcow, unless you happen to be one, you are screwed.

        • nun sequitur says:

          This disparages many people whom have recovered from substance abuse, having met several i would not qualify them as compromised as this implies.

        • nun sequitur says:

          ..that being said, none of those
          people i referred 2 said anything ’bout the 144,000…

          alert, alert, there may b 144,000 jewish men locked in to rooms all over the planet whom need release…

      • puppygoogoo says:


        a few questions that i hope you can answer for me.
        1. As a percentage, how much is pretty sure?
        2. How do you know what hell is like? Have you been?
        3. The comment “When Jesus comes back, he is coming to kill people. Yes, he is the lamb but he is also a lion.” How can a man/god be both a lamb and a lion at the same time? I call bull poo.
        4. “If you are asking why he didn’t send him now when we have the internet and phones and all that, it was probably because we have to much junk cluttering up our lives that they didn’t have back then.” Do you mean clutter like science and logic?
        5. “We don’t see monkeys or any other animal evolving into anything else now, so why are people so convinced that it happened “millions of years ago”” Unless you plan on being alive for “millions of years” you won’t observe it either.
        6. “Instead it was written over a period of time by many different people.” and “In ancient times people could actually be killed for making a mistake while copying it. If you can imagine, it hasn’t changed much since it was written.” These quotes and knowing human nature lead me to believe that what we have today is nothing like the original, especially as it wasn’t written down until well after it all went down.

        Thats enough for now. Cheers


        • nun sequitur says:

          Puppygoogoo, i never thought id hear myself saying this but, ,,may u b warped in his noodly embrace…

          wrapped, 2.


      • nun sequitur says:


        I had some1 tell me about russian hands & roman fingers, once…

      • Keith says:

        Well, you got the “Mad” bit right. The rest of what you have written is rubbish.

      • nun sequitur says:

        Easier to accept him? They were essentially living on the edge of a desert, were they not? What r u saying…without modern conveniences, He with all the connections has to minister 2 a deprived peoples, so they will b desparate enough to cling 2 whatever hope, however hollow is offered??? Are u SERIOUSLY suggesting people r now saying: OH heck, ive got my XBOX here, WHO NEEDS JESUS?

        I was serious, when i said u scare me…

        • nun sequitur says:

          & FYI 2 any1 wondering, no matter what circumstance u place me in, not even the 1 i m in, will i sing praises of jesus…i could b waterboarded & have parts of my brain removed ala silence-of-the-lambs & u will never c me @ that messianic temple…unless it were i had been invited in the past, there was a time i would let nearly any1 take me by the hand, but if u try 2 take mine i will need 2 pull it away. U r false & offer false hope & r not correct…moocow.

        • nun sequitur says:

          thats NOT entirely factual…i sang ‘holy night’ in our public school chorus…merde.

        • nun sequitur says:

          Ive no respect for people whom talk of god but try to play him in vindictive manners & then say it is gods will & they are only conduits & if u do not submit, are said 2 b directing ur own fate ALSO via god…it is a clusterf-k of illogic. i have said god is IN each of us, that is 2 say, if u r willing 2 embrace this as a concept ,2 embody it, u can not LIMIT it 2 judgement alone, slighting those whom do not share your concept…the idea of it, the practice of it, the way people do…it makes me weep.

      • nun sequitur says:

        ”it is coming soon, so everyone better decide where they stand…”

        R u talkin 2 me?

        I know of people whom would b up high, on a PLATFORM raised 2 the sky, saying u want a piece of this? u can’t HANDLE this. Not u…u would probably shove people off of it & say TAKE ME!

        ,,,we can make a reality TV show about it. the general public can weigh in on it & decide whom deserves what fate…

        That is it seems what u r already doing, u & this demographic u represent. ..u brought up technology. U cannot b serious. Do u mean 2 tell me almighty god cannot manipulate a few radio signals or pixels in order to deliver a universal message? I m not talking about u, getting on airwaves & playing god, much like u r doing here. Paranormal investigators capture EVPs all the time but god cant get in there & grab a soundbyte? A guy out west actually claims 2 have done an ‘automatic writing’ from god…i find him far more plausible than u.

        The god u speak of sounds like an abusive parent threatening his children further…oh, babies i am coming back here, & when i do, will get out the belt again but, only if u give me a reason. There ARE people right now living thru TERRIBLE things, people whom are right now, being subjected to abuse…so put a cork in it about all this vague unjustified retribution.

      • TiltedHorizon says:

        “Also Romans were building the first good roads around the time that Jesus came, so God sent him at a time when the Gospel would be able to be spread more easily around the world.”

        LOL. So god, who created everything from nothing, needed a man made road to help spread the word of his own existence. Basically, you are saying god cannot exist without man, which ironically, is the same thing I have been saying for a looooong time.

        “Humans did not evolve from apes. We don’t see monkeys or any other animal evolving into anything else now, so why are people so convinced that it happened “millions of years ago””

        There is likely no god, we don’t see god anywhere, so why are people so convinced of his/her/it’s existence?

      • TiltedHorizon says:

        “Humans did not evolve from apes.”

        Actually, genetically we are closer to Chimps than apes, a fact best explained by common ancestry (i.e. evolution) than the alternative (i.e. god did it). Since we are on the subject, another fact is that chimps & apes are prone to throw things at rivals, anything really, like mud, rocks, poop, etc. I thought I’d point since it is ironic that those who object to the common ancestry argument choose to do so by beating their chests and throwing bibles, judgement, and faith, like ….. um…. ‘not’ monkeys.

        • nun sequitur says:

          like people! historically speaking, if a prayer book were chucked in my presence i would need to pick it up & kiss it…this strikes me as somewhat obsessive compulsive. I am not saying I didn’t DO it, nor am i faulting anyone whom is practicing this, now. I think it is a 2% difference, in DNA but there r probably chimps smarter than me…

      • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

        If you want to see creatures in the midst of evolutionary changes, Madcow, you have no further to look than the species homo sapiens. Anyone very familiar with anatomy can point out a couple dozen flaws in the design of a human body; mighty sloppy for a grand designer, but understandable for an evolved, vegetarian tree-dweller. Things like the design of the knees and back to wisdom teeth, appendix, eyes, sinuses, etc. Did you know that most people have 12 pairs of ribs, but some have 13, like…apes?

        If god made us in his own image to have dominion over the animals, why can’t we run faster, see better, smell better or hear better than them? Oh – because we don’t HAVE to? But that’s natural selection, isn’t it?

        • Apprentice Frederic says:

          tFtPtM, you’re probably long acquainted with “The Beak of the Finch” – I’d be interested to know what you think about that as an example of contemporary evolution….

        • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

          Frederic, I’m glad you brought that up. Geneticists have found the beak differences between finches on different Galapagos islands are due to the same gene being turned on 24 hours apart. Want a long beak? Turn on the “beak” gene during the 5th day of the embryo’s existence. Wait a day and you get the shorter, tougher beak for nut-or-seed crackers.

          The most interesting thing found so far is that we share many common genes with animals that have profound differences. For example, take the fin of a dolpin. If you really look at it, you’ll find a similar structure to our arms & hands. It’s the “junk” DNA’s timing of when to activate the fin/arm gene that determines what develops. Remember those poor unfortunates who had flippers due to thalidomide?

          Anyway, this explains macro evolution. It only takes a minor glitch in the timing of events to produce profound differences.

        • Apprentice Frederic says:

          Thanks, tFtPtM – interesting! I’m prompted to find oujt more!

        • nun s equator says:

          genetic mutations, we are.
          hairy bags of water..
          this how it was explained 2 me.
          Due to our moisture level,,our water content, by percentage, help holding it all in here, this skin membrane organ, from that,
          the hair projecting out of, it..

          its a wonder we all do not just seep, dissolve & evaporate.

          i would ad 2 that, we r consciousness,,,,, awareness & perception affecting it, & which can b altered
          either with or (as in whats become of me), without our permission…

        • nun s equator says:


          some1 pointed out 2 me our canines r for meat ripping which makes us omnivores (potentially) & i would think our arms would b substantially longer if we were 2 b dwelling in the trees,
          but do not object 2 people building tree houses,
          so long as u have not fallen while trying 2 climb a tree & broken, strained or otherwise damaged parts of evolved self which are essential 2 climb up, there…

        • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

          Yes, longer arms are great for living in trees, but when our ancestors moved to the African savanna, shorter arms became preferable. Ever see an orangutan walk with his arms waving above his head? It’s either that or let them drag on the ground.

      • Kid Northcote says:

        “…yet it never contradicts itself.” – Madcow, have you read the Bible?

        Lets start at the beginning, open at Genesis (and not that terrible band Phil Collins was in)

        God made Adam and Eve (2? I count 2 people so far.)

        They had Cain and Abel (4. Correct? 4 people: Mum, Dad, 2 brats. 4. I’m counting 4. K? K.)

        We are @ Genisis 4, the bit where God is definately a steak kinda Lord, not a salad kinda Lord.

        Alright, keep reading Genisis 4, Cain does a 187 on Abel’s ass and were down to 3 in the hood. We got 3 people. Adam, Easy Eve and Big Daddy Cain (alright he is not a daddy…yet…read on)

        Genisis 4:17 – “Cain made love to his wife and she became pregnant and gave birth to Enoch”

        WHAT THE FUCK? What wife? Where the fuck did she come from? Did Cain fuck a sheep? Did he fuck Eve? His mother? We haven’t got through Genisis and there is contradiction already! Adam, Eve, Cain and his dead brother Abel. No, no mention of a wife. God had not made any wives. This is some whacky shit.

        Sorry, “made love” to his mother Eve. Lets not drag it into the gutter.

        By the way, does anyone think “Jesus 2: The Return” will be as good as Terminator 2 or Empire Strikes Back? the sequel can be superior to the original, although not often (Revenge of the Nerds 2: Nerds in Paradise – not as good as the original)

        • TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

          Cain could have “married” a younger sister. But let’s not forget that there are 2 Genesis stories. In one, Adam and Eve are simultaneously created from clay.

        • Omnipotent Zombie says:

          let’s not forget about poor unfortunate Lillith . Poor old girl gets kicked out of Eden for desiring equality. (Also, the very first divorce as well) “It’s Adam and Lillith, not Adam and Eve!” :p

        • Keith says:

          Well, whatever happened with Cain is still technically incest in Judaeo-Christian terms. After all, it happened after the fall so was sinful. In context, Lillith was a spirit (demon if you prefer) before she became Adam’s wife and then was kicked back into the unholy pantheon. Religious mythology is full of twisty turny ideas.

        • TiltedHorizon says:

          Contradictions are aplenty in the bible, they become more clear after each reading and incredibly easy to spot when you look at direct Hebrew translations which are generally free of translator biases.

        • Kid Northcote says:

          Eve may have been the “protomilf”, the original cougar. Cain, you naughty monkey!

          I’m hungary…

        • Zach says:

          Uhhhhhhhh Archaic Homo Sapiens evolved from HOMO ERECTUS! NOT APES. GET YOUR FUCKING FACTS STRAIGHT BEFOR U MORONICALLY RAMBLE MADCOW. Ok I’m done *pant* had to make that clear


  4. Geneva says:

    As an atheist, another religion is not what the world needs. I respect your believes as much any other religious believes. I appreciate you not lobbing my schools the teach your creation mythes in the science class room – this is a lesson that other regions, that will go unnamed, could learn from you.
    You are still encouraging faith in the super natural. (Using your deity to explain gravity with no evidence denies the possible eventual physical explanation, unless the Flying Spaghetti Monster retreats when something unknown is figured out. In which case, why bother with a deity at all)? Faith without physical evidence is the root of the problem. Once believers throw off there rational logical minds (or never develop their minds in the first place) it is only a matter of time before stupidity and self delusion takes over. I think it is a pattern that any religion falls into. After stupidity comes strong emotions and rigid black and white thinking. I have read at least a few posts on this site in a capital letter that stated in some form you are going to hell for creating/believing this religion. I hope that two thousand years from now these voices will not be coming from Born Again Flying Spaghetti Monster worshipers.
    Maybe I am mistaken. I will never know everything. I can, at least, try to understand the world using a method (the scientific method) whose evidences appears to work. Airplanes fly and spaghetti factories are capable of making noodles by the laws of physics. I can not disprove your deity. All I can say is that the Flying Spaghetti Monster and other deities are highly unlikely and I have already wasted too much time writing this post. Besides, I am gluten intolerant hence allergic to spaghetti.

    • nun sequitur says:

      Faith without physical evidence- when a persons physical pain is denied, it is on this basis & countless people end up taking their lives or leading marginal existences in untreated pain…which is overwhelmingly tragic. So your blanket argument is no more a solution than this is not neccessarily not, one. It got your attention, for one. That says something.

      • nun sequitur says:

        My point was that overly rigid thinking period can b an issue- not neccessary that it is merely religious. I asked somewhere on the boards if any1 here had seen a ghost. . .there r accounts of people whom have experienced ‘unexplained’ phenomena such as this whom end up in turn calling everything they believe into question, while others dig the trenches more deeply…it RARELY leaves people unaffected

        • nun sequitur says:

          That area by the way, if there is anything which explains the formation of religion best, i think it is our individual & combined experiences with what is termed the ‘para’normal or ‘next’ to normal…which is part of our natural universe, but not in an ordered manner we can readily wrap our feeble heads around (i ought speak 4 myself, i know)…
          any1 whom has NOT seen a ghost automatically thinks the any1s whom have r delusional.
          i never finished that book, the god delusion…i kept falling asleep.
          I got the general idea of maybe the beginnings of the framework & concept…but does any1 know if this was touched upon, in there?

          B4 U say i am alone in my thinking on this, there r research institutes all over the country. Duke U, Stanford, are 2…which have paranormal investigative facilities. I m hardly an expert on this, but it is my understanding that this is one of the most contentious fields 2 b involved in to this day, even with advances in the field of metaphysics & another word for advanced scientific understanding & exploration i cannot think of & the main reason it is so discarded is that it involves the HUMAN MIND, psychology, subjectivity,,,but is no less real.
          in the victorian era, the subject of ghosts was ever popular but there was no comprehension of emf fields, other explanations &…it becomes even now like a secret club u r inducted into if u c one, or u r labeled with words i will not repeat. surely these experiences have driven as many persons 2 church as a mental hospital

      • nun sequitur says:

        & since part of the concept of jesus has 2 do with human suffering, i think there is something in there 2 b made a point of, even if u r not invested in the entire framework…like not tossing out the baby with the bathwater. i was raised in what is termed a judeo environ, which some call judeo christian, or a complex of beliefs shared by other faiths, monotheistic like islamic faiths & even atheists r raised in the same society with few exceptions ( i mentioned an athlete whom was raised in seclusion in the woods no electricity, but think he did attend school with other people)- i have no beliefs, just thoughts, on what god may b, & was taught we cannot conceive of it- maybe pretending 2 b fully informed & 100% correct works for some people. I was told by a ‘therapist’, that is WRONG! About an answer i gave which HE ASKED…this was DAMAGING & not 2 him. He still has his career.

        • nun sequitur says:

          The question asked had 2 do with the afterlife. He strongly disapproved of my answer.

    • stylusmobilus says:

      ‘About’ tab.

    • Zach says:

      Um the only reason we are here is because we wish to correct the things that are wrong with reiligon ex:people being forced at young ages to be certain ways and think certain things, it destroys personal free will(one word?) And i personally cant stand it.

  5. nun sequitur says:

    There is a member of OFFLINE COMMUNITY whom bragged he has capably the ability to interfere with computers, that information is ‘free’ & is his, just like oxygen…& offered 2 take our computer 2 ‘check’ it for us, while there was nothing told 2 him undicating any issue…he was evicted from our premises & the police were contacted over harassing remarks & stalking…& tried repeatedly to convince me to stop taking my pain medicine & start smoking pot; several times, in front of my husband. I am not against its use by people, just not interested personally; posting this here 2 go on record that if that same person or any associates were involved with this tinkering here,i consider it FURTHER HARASSMENT. Trying to INVALIDATE my complaints
    , which remzin valid, by such deceptive means DOES NOT NEGATE the basis for my complaints; COLLUSION does not equal justification…as*holes.

    • nun sequitur says:

      I post this here in event party mentioned is member of group. UNACCEPTABLE.


  6. nun sequitur says:

    & now I have NO idea if ANYTHING i have responded 2 is ACCURATE; as, if the display on this end DIFFERS from what, apparently may actually be THERE, EVERY RESPONSE i make & every referrence is INTENTIONALLY SKEWED.

    NOT okay.

  7. BrightWhite says:

    Just an FYI . . . they don’t serve breakfast in hell, but I hear the Spaghetti is good.

    As humans, we should question what we believe. Not just in the religious arena, but all aspects of life. FSM is trying to get that point across. So stop with the hateful crap, sit down, and take a breath. The fact that any of us are on this site is an indication we are intrigued by the idea of questioning the establishment (or just want to mindlessly vent about something).

  8. Olio says:

    “Just an FYI…they don’t serve breakfast in hell, but I hear the Spaghetti is good”

    Must be in that place being as I seem to skip breakfast most often. Have you not ever had leftover noodles for brunch?

    • BrightWhite says:

      I love leftover noodles at all times of the day.

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