Are you a retard?

Published February 3rd, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

I saw your retarded website and asked myself "why?" but then, there are a lot of crackheads in the world, and you seem to be one of the more insane ones. That is a joke website, right? Can you honestly tell yourself that you truly believe in this load of shit? Pasta is an inanimate food object. It cannot fly. It does not have eyes. It never was and never will be alive and breathing. For your own health, I ask you to stop whatever the hell you’re smoking.


444 Responses to “Are you a retard?”

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  1. the meatballer says:

    I’m not smoking, I’m vaping the holy steam spilling off the most glorious FSM

  2. Anonymous (I guess) says:

    Hello. I see that you are saying that spaghetti is not an flying object and dosen’t have eyes. Okay well what about about Jesus and all that (Im kind of an atheist. Im actually sitting right now and having religion. While i can’t remember what The new testament and the old one together is called in english.) They say that there’s a god (seems like a human.) That is in the sky and look down upon us from the clouds. Well that sounds ridiculous.

    Have a nice day!

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  5. John says:

    I totally get this. The issue with some versions of the god story is that you don’t actually get to see the entity. We don’t even know what these gods are made from. We don’t know why they exist. We don’t know what effect they really have on us. No wonder followers are so full of hate.
    However we can all see and touch pasta. No doubt it exists and we can prove it. We all know why it exists and what it does for us. Easy to love and share. I believe completely.

    • Keith says:

      That sums it up very well.

      • Rasputin says:

        Dear John, the FSM chooses to be represented as spaghetti because He wants us to fill our bellies, enjoy a life of peace and plenty and get our noodles sucked.

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  7. gagoonies says:

    People sometimes ask what is wrong with those obviously retarded “baptists”. Well abrahamic sociopathic psychotic retards including but not limited to christians, jews, & muslims amongst other shitty tasting flavors of religious nuttery are diseased. You see these retarded apes are literally retarded. It is important to pitty them to show these freaks of nature compassion, sympathy, & empathy as they require it. You may have encountered them in public places acting out their religious memes. Remember this is just a desperate cry for help from them like a last ditch effort for the actual homo sapien sapient human personality trapped inside their bodies soliciting assistance as they cannot help themselves. As they are demonically possessed by a daemon entity. A memetic organism brain parasite which is feeding off of their chi, soul, lifeforces. There central nervous systems are hijacked turning them into host vessels facilitating better interaction with this corporeal physical plane of existence because homo sapiens have thumbs.

    • Captain Birdseye says:

      Gagoonies, life is too short to show pity for fundies. Anyway, you will only offend them in the same way they claim to pity you. Don’t even give them a minute; walk by and take trouble to never vote for one for any form of public office. You are correct that they have a brain infection, that sucks their humanity from within their hard shell.

  8. Anonymous says:

    “Can you honestly tell yourself that you truly believe in this load of shit?”

    I could ask you the same thing

    • Captain Birdseye says:

      Anonymous, is it possible that you are in fact a Pastafarian?

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