Tides are proof of God

Published January 7th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

President of the American Atheist Group, David Silverman, went on the O’Reilly Factor to talk about the group’s “You KNOW they’re all SCAMS” billboard campaign.  Bill O’Reilly said it was insulting to religious people.  Silverman says it’s the truth and how can the truth be offensive. 


I will admit I laughed when I heard about the billboard.  I can imagine the response it will get in Alabama.  Anyone remember the Top Gear episode where they did a road trip through the south and wrote controversial slogans on each others cars?  Made me think of that.

manloverulesok2 nascar_sucks

I will also admit I have a grudging respect for Bill O’Reilly – because as much of a pompous ass he is, and as often as he is wrong about so many things, I find him intellectually honest.  I believe he believes what he is saying, and you can’t say that about everyone.  [Edit – I got a lot of flack for that statement. Maybe deserved. But still I believe there is a difference between what he is doing and what Glenn Beck is doing. Both are asses but I believe O’Reilly sleeps well at night and doesn’t believe himself to be a fraud.]

But here is one of those things O’Reilly says that leaves you stunned.  There is proof of (presumably a personal Christian) God because of Tides:

O’REILLY: I’ll tell you why it’s not a scam: the tide goes in, tide goes out. Never a miscommunication. You can’t explain that.

SILVERMAN: The tide goes in, tide goes out?

O’REILLY: The water, the tide comes in, it goes out, Mr. Silverman. It always comes in, it always goes out. You can’t explain that.

Here’s the video:

In response, friend of the Church of Flying Spaghetti Monster, Mr. Stephen Colbert, had Astrophysicist Neil Degrasse Tyson on The Colbert Report to give a scientific explanation for the tides:

As always, the problem with the false religion/science dichotomy leaves the masses ignorant of the Flying Spaghetti Monster’s influence over everything.

76 Responses to “Tides are proof of God”

  1. Gummihu says:

    Tide comes in, tide goes out, you can’t explain… Yo Bill, I’m really happy for you, imma let you finish but Isac Newton had the best explanation of the tides of all time.

    Oh my FSM I’m so sorry it just slipped out

  2. B. says:

    Now I get it.

    We here are Godless heathens, thats why we don’t have tides.

    Thank you Bill O’Reilly, for making this clear to me.

  3. PastaFaZoo says:

    “It’s not an insult. I said ‘IF’. ‘IF’ you are Bill O’Reilly, you are a complete and utter moron. ‘IF’.

  4. Gordon_UK says:

    It’s quite clear from that clip that O’Reilly is a professional when it comes to controling a discussions / debate and judging from the other comments here quite well known. So it begs the question why Silverman agreed to go on the show as he must of known that this O’Reilly would run rings around him.

    I also got the impression the tide remark was a trap, I think O’Reilly hoped Silverman would reference the moon and at which point O’Reilly could of further attacked him with something along the lines of “and where did the moon come from” which further flustered Silverman. Though I think Silverman’s response cough O’Reilly of guard and worked against him as we all know when Silverman was repeating it a large part of the audience where saying to themselves “I thought that was the moon?”.

    Anyway I’m glad that Fox news is an ‘also ran’ over here and Sky News would lose what little audience they have to BBC news if they try to copy Fox.

    • JamesL says:

      Doesn’t Murdoch also have quite a monopoly across the pond?

      • gordon_uk says:

        Not as much as he would like, at the moment he is trying to take control of BskyB but the goverment is trying to stop him.

        • JamesL says:

          Hopefully his reign of terror won’t infect you guys too.

  5. Souly_DK says:

    “You KNOW they’re all SCAMS” billboard campaign… i never seen anything so awesome :D !!! but still that O’Reilly dude is such an ass for not letting someone speaking out, hes constantly interupting! let the man talk and then talk about it like 2 adult human beings!!!!… i dunno if its just me, but people thats constantly interupting me, just makes me wanna stab them. If that was 2 girls they would be bitch fighting by now on open tellie…

    And Colbert?…. why is he even alive, jeeesh stupidity nowadays in the television i never seen something so fucked up to be honest.. people have the right to speak out their mind, and not get stomped oon on national television because the reporter is borned automatic christian and probably had a really ****** life that we see constantly around..

    Ramen XD !

    • Brian Fritzen says:

      Are you POEing about Colbert? Colbert is on Comedy Central… Go back and rewatch that one….

      You must be POEing.

      • bruceo says:

        I don’t think Souly is POEing–it looks to me like he’s unaware that Colbert is a satirist.
        Maybe he’s not from the U.S. and has never seen Colbert before. He obviously understands satire since he’s an FSM fan, so let’s cut him some slack.

    • TimmyAnn says:

      Dude, you get that Colbert is a satirist, right?

    • Rainbow Pasta says:

      I agree with your statement on O’Rielly, my parents watch him and glenn beck an insane amount, and I find that O’Reilly is an ass. He lets absolutley no one speak, and refuses to think about any ideas that might contradict with what he just KNOWS is right. On Colbert however, you realize that he supports His Holy Noodliness, right? He is satirical and understands the Truth set forth in the Pasta.
      R’amen brother. R’amen.

  6. Glenn says:

    Mr. O’Rily is a professional blowhard.

    There are counterparts on the left.

    Like anchor players in tug-of-war,
    they never risk being pulled into the mud pit.

  7. Destrii says:

    That interview is hilarious! O’Reilly clearly has no idea what an “interview” is. It’s when you have this guy and *you* ask *him* questions. You then wait for answers. You ask more questions. You do not, however, try to feed your ego by blabbering on about random crap. Silverman’s face at 2:01 is absolutely priceless!

  8. Mary Magdeline says:

    OMG just found your site! Thank you so much for the laughs. I’m toying between the Michel-spaghetti -o mug or T but I REALLY want a poster.

Leave a Reply