Tides are proof of God

Published January 7th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

President of the American Atheist Group, David Silverman, went on the O’Reilly Factor to talk about the group’s “You KNOW they’re all SCAMS” billboard campaign.  Bill O’Reilly said it was insulting to religious people.  Silverman says it’s the truth and how can the truth be offensive. 


I will admit I laughed when I heard about the billboard.  I can imagine the response it will get in Alabama.  Anyone remember the Top Gear episode where they did a road trip through the south and wrote controversial slogans on each others cars?  Made me think of that.

manloverulesok2 nascar_sucks

I will also admit I have a grudging respect for Bill O’Reilly – because as much of a pompous ass he is, and as often as he is wrong about so many things, I find him intellectually honest.  I believe he believes what he is saying, and you can’t say that about everyone.  [Edit – I got a lot of flack for that statement. Maybe deserved. But still I believe there is a difference between what he is doing and what Glenn Beck is doing. Both are asses but I believe O’Reilly sleeps well at night and doesn’t believe himself to be a fraud.]

But here is one of those things O’Reilly says that leaves you stunned.  There is proof of (presumably a personal Christian) God because of Tides:

O’REILLY: I’ll tell you why it’s not a scam: the tide goes in, tide goes out. Never a miscommunication. You can’t explain that.

SILVERMAN: The tide goes in, tide goes out?

O’REILLY: The water, the tide comes in, it goes out, Mr. Silverman. It always comes in, it always goes out. You can’t explain that.

Here’s the video:

In response, friend of the Church of Flying Spaghetti Monster, Mr. Stephen Colbert, had Astrophysicist Neil Degrasse Tyson on The Colbert Report to give a scientific explanation for the tides:

As always, the problem with the false religion/science dichotomy leaves the masses ignorant of the Flying Spaghetti Monster’s influence over everything.

76 Responses to “Tides are proof of God”

  1. Jack says:

    Fucking tides, how do they work?

    • Rich says:

      Surely tide tides have something to do with the ammont of water being strained off boiling pots of pasta or noodles at any one time?

  2. John Morrison says:

    I laugh so hard every time I come across these clips. Then
    an overwhelming dread strikes me to the core.

    O’Reilly either believes what he is saying or is pandering.

    What scares me is the number of supporters he has regardless
    of his integrity. The fact the ideas he professes are so widely
    accepted should not be taken lightly. The results of having so
    many malleable minds will prove to have catastrophic consequences
    on our liberty and comfort.

    • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

      “O’Reilly either believes what he is saying or is pandering.”

      That scary thought is universal at Fox Propoganda News.

      • Thomas L. Nielsen says:

        The difference between PR and propaganda:

        If we’re doing it, it’s PR.

        If the opposition is doing it, it’s propaganda.

        Regards & all, rAmen and Aarrr….

        Thomas L. Nielsen
        Assistant Thesaurus Editor

  3. TimmyAnn says:

    What kills me is that people like O’Reilly assume that if the particular atheist to whom they are speaking can’t explain something off the top of his/her head that means it is unexplainable and must be the work of god. I can’t explain how this computer I’m using works, does that mean it is god making it work?

    • Thomas L. Nielsen says:

      Yes. Yes it does.

      Thomas L. Nielsen
      Supernatural IT Supply & Repair Emporium

  4. EricB says:

    Wow, who did Silverman think he was going to talk to? He should have practiced on a few Catholics before he went to the show;

    O’Reilly: Why are you insulting Religion.

    Silverman: I’m sorry that religion was insulted I didn’t mean to hurt it’s feels. Just like I’m sure that your arrogant behavior isn’t meant to insult me, even though I find it insulting.

    O’Reilly: It’s not a scam.

    Silverman: Bill, do you mean to say that you think that everything that every religion says is true. Actually you and I agree that all religion, except yours, is a scam. Right Bill, the devil’s little scam? Are you telling me that Catholics don’t sit around a laugh at muslims and their silly myths. Or, how about those buddists, Bill. Not a myth? Careful Bill you know who’s listening and I’m not talking about your ratings.

    O’Reilly: 80% of Americans are Christians.
    Silverman: Mormons believe that the father and the son are not the same Bill. Are you sure you want to lump yourself in with them ? And, 7th day Adventists think blood transfusions are a sin. Are you saying that you are OK with that?

    • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

      But Bill, 80% of we Americans are un- or misinformed fools. Thanks to – and including! – people like you.

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  6. Nick says:

    It’s when I watch videos like this that I really worry about the American Education system…

    Apparently science isn’t even a class. I learned that the moon’s gravity controls the tides when I was in primary school, Bill.

    • TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

      It’s a scary thing when science is considered fair game by religion or politics.

      • Apprentice Frederic says:

        Right on. Neil Degrasse Tyson re-said something like that recently (to paraphrase): I don’t interfere with what you teach in Sunday School, but I’m gonna be up in you face if you tr to pushyour churh teachings into science classes….

  7. dug says:

    Test your faith. Read entire link. You may never believe in God again.

    • Keith says:

      The grammar and spelling need to be tidied up on that site. Many of the god botherers like Fred Nile (he is an Australian) disregard any arguments relating to quotes from the old testament. They simply say “that was all replaced by the new covenant made by jesus. It is not relevant.” This is, of course, despite the fact that many of these people are quite happy to quote the o/t when it suits them. If you want to put them on the spot, make sure you can show them what bastards jesus and his god are. Just remember that this is not necessarily a battle you can win: if they were amenable to reason they would have dumped their ideas long ago.

      • TheFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

        A. If the new testicle replaces the old, why bother having that boring list of who-begat-who attached? Spin off those old parables and fables into an Aesop-like series of bed time stories guaranteed to frighten the children.

        B. It should be pointed out to Fred and his ilk that the core of the new testicle is the life of Jesus, whose existence can’t be verified by historians and whose back-story is disturbingly like that of Mithra, Attis, Horus…..

        • Keith says:

          I have read (unfortunately I don’t know where) that the parables told by jesus (assuming, as you say, that he existed), were nothing new or remarkable: merely reworkings of parables that were commonly circulating at the time. Regarding the list of “begats”, they were included so that poor shites like Ussher could while away the time pursuing fruitless chronologies.

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