Official church stance of homosexual marriage

Published January 19th, 2011 by Katie

Fellow Pastafarians,

I am writing about the official church stance of homosexual marriage (i.e. none). I am concerned that this stance is in direct contradiction with the will of the FSM. You see, I received a vision from the FSM this evening while (as is often the case) I was cooking a grilled cheese sandwich.

During his appearance he told me that homosexuals are gay because He has touched them with his noodley appendage. This is the reason that “experts” have had so much difficulty pinpointing what makes someone gay. And since gays and lesbians have been chosen by Him, to deny them the right to get married is an abomination in His eyes (meatballs). Of course many have argued that no major religion has ever accepted homosexuality. It should obvious to any FSM follower that the real reason homosexuals are shunned from mainstream religion is because of blatant prejudice towards those who have been touched by Him. A bigotry that I know many of my fellow Pastafarians have experienced first hand.

I am especially concerned because of the state of gay rights movement today. Too often gay activists argue that should be given the right to marry because of court precedent that says marriage is their “right as a human being” or essential to the “dignity ” of a relationship. Then they rely on the 14th amendment to say that they deserve “equal protection under the laws” and that under constitution gay people are “equal to” straight people.

Well I think to time to put these arguments to rest. Gay Pastafarians should sue because not allowing gay marriage is a violation of their first amendment rights since it is commanded by the FSM as relayed to me in my vision. Of course He works in mysterious ways and we may never why He commands that gays get married. But there is no question that He does.

Now if I know my fellow Pastafarians, you want proof. Attached is a photo of the grilled sandwich I was cooking when He appeared to me. I think it speaks for itself. I hope that it is satisfactory proof to convince everyone that we should amend the CotFSM’s stance on gay marriage to supporting it. Only then can gay Pastafarians demand true religious freedom and marry as the FSM intended.

May you all be touched by his noodley appendage,


375 Responses to “Official church stance of homosexual marriage”

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  3. P michael Halden says:

    Haha – This is awesome! Thanks so much for writing it.

    And here’s a link to why Christianity is more unnatural than Homosexuality.



  4. sil says:

    As usual this site confuses me but in a good way
    I to am subject to visions that come upon me before my second coffee in the morning but I listen with confidence to my secret friend who translates the wishes of my unicorn in reference to the wisdom of the dragon.

    • Keith says:

      That’s always a good way to start the day.

  5. Erik says:

    This message was written back in 2011. Now gay marriage is legalized in the U.S. It clearly PROVES that the flying spaghetti monster words is The Truth and that His Power finally win regardless of what other people say.
    Because his words is objective moral truth.

    But gay marriage is not only founded on faith, but also on reason. If you discard the flying spaghetti monster, you discard carbohydrates. If you discard carbohydrates you discard your health. If you discard your health you discard your life. Therefore, gay marriage is vital for our survival. Checkmate, christians.


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