FSM Theme Park

Published December 9th, 2010 by Bobby Henderson


Open call for submissions!

How about it? Let’s brainstorm and see if we can’t come up with some fantastic attractions and artwork.  I will be shocked if we can’t outdo the Ark Encounter.  Here are some themes to work with but don’t let this limit you:

* Pirates

* Beer Volcano

* Midgets  (I’m making that hand waving gesture because it’s a touchy subject (I think (or is that a touchy subject to mention it))

* The mystery of the Pirate Fish (specifically why has its origin never been explained?)

* The Creation Mountains

What am I missing?

396 Responses to “FSM Theme Park”

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  1. Victor Mendoza says:


    nuff said.

    • Joseph says:

      This must be recreated.

      • smartyhardyhar says:

        don’t trust it I wont look at it. But if Pastafarian over here can recreate it. maybe I will see it and.. I might like it.

  2. theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

    Coming down the mountain could be the most awesome water slides, looking like a bunch of spaghetti noodles. Now how do we dye the water to resemble marinara sauce?

    • Keith says:

      You could make the water look like beer.

      • smartyhardyhar says:

        that is so easy to do with just color. like maybe this red type pink marble of a tub and slide just makes the water look golden. Like Duff Beer. Or Luck LuetchLAGGER Beer which is my step-dad’s brand. If you protect me, I will protect you. I want this brand a happening ASAP. With the best beer men on the JOB and MY own personal cut for my family who doesn’t even have a pot to piss in. Can anyone else hear the sound of gold coins showering above their wonderful head right now?

  3. johnny says:

    how about a ride on a pirate ship? it could follow a little circular artificial river…complete with an imitation of the holy pirate experience on the ship…we could have like 3 of them going at once

    • smartyhardyhar says:

      “holy moly macaroni”

  4. johnny says:

    also all employee uniforms should be pirate regalia

    • smell says:

      all clothing should be pirate regalia, no entry without sword and hat

      • smartyhardyhar says:

        mmhmm yes pirate, and wrenched wenches – hmm whatever ‘THOSE’ are. feel free to delete any of my comments if deemed necassry to establish THIS whatever THIS is.

  5. Joseph says:

    You know that pirate ship that goes back and forth, almost reaching 180?


    Also, pirate hat and sword are needed for entry (or maybe a discount).

    The food areas should serve only pasta, and root beer.

    A statue to his noodliness is obviously needed.

    Finally, SWORD FIGHTS.

  6. Michael says:

    Surely the centrepiece must be the giant rollercoaster that is in the form of His Noodliness??? You enter and exit the ride through two great big balls and are then whizzed around the twisting rails of noodly appendages. His eyes could be accessible viewing platforns that provide a 360 degree view of the park.

    Please make it happen!

  7. Saintsalive says:

    How about an educational Journey with Mosey? We shall join a guide who is dressed like great captain Mosey in a re-enactment of the receiving of the Eight I-Really-Wish-You-Didn’ts, and for the kiddies, a little quiz afterward to test their knowledge of His Noodly rules.

    • Jamie says:

      I do like the idea of incorporating the eight I’d-Really-Rather-You-Didn’ts. I think the re-enactment part is cool, but I can’t see people excited for the quiz afterward. Maybe the re-enactment could be interactive and we can have the participants decide what to do, and then reveal what the I’d-Really-Rather-You-Didn’ts say.

      • Saintsalive says:

        The quiz would be solely for the kiddies, so they could learn in more detail His Noodly ways. The adults would, of course, get free beer, and, if they aren’t Pastafarians and don’t already have the rules set to heart, a little notebook showing what the I’d-Really-Rather-You-Didn’ts (Did I make a mistake? I-Really-Wish-you-didn’ts? I-really-rather-you-didn’ts? Does it really matter, as long as we adhere to the Noodly Rules?) are. Remember, this should not only be a good enjoyment for the ones out there who have been Touched but also for those who are curious and have yet to learn His ways. It shall be a good educational opportunity for all, young and old, pirate or not, Touched By His Noodly Appendage or yet to be Touched! All are equal in the FSM’s eyes!

        • smartyhardyhar says:

          thank you you guys rock my world with your clary sage noodle house stuff you got going sweethearts.

  8. Michaela says:

    Some of these might have been said already (I didn’t read all the comments), but here are some ideas:

    A beer volcano themed log flume
    A stripper factor themed fun house
    Of course a food court featuring tons of pasta
    Have the pathways be curvy and all over the place so that it looks like the holy FSM from a bird’s eye view
    A spaghetti roller coast
    Pirate bumber boats
    Several shows and musical performances composed entirely of pirate dressed midgets
    After hours, it turns into a total adult theme park. Real beer volcanoes, pirate dressed strippers (women and men of course) waltzing around the park, things along those lines…
    Maybe we could even get Al Gore on board so he can teach to all the connection between global warming and the decreasing number of pirates =D

    That’s all I got for now =)

    • smartyhardyhar says:

      Michaela have you done this before? You’ve got experience girl where-ever you are.

      Save the world – noodle nerds.

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