FSM Theme Park

Published December 9th, 2010 by Bobby Henderson


Open call for submissions!

How about it? Let’s brainstorm and see if we can’t come up with some fantastic attractions and artwork.  I will be shocked if we can’t outdo the Ark Encounter.  Here are some themes to work with but don’t let this limit you:

* Pirates

* Beer Volcano

* Midgets  (I’m making that hand waving gesture because it’s a touchy subject (I think (or is that a touchy subject to mention it))

* The mystery of the Pirate Fish (specifically why has its origin never been explained?)

* The Creation Mountains

What am I missing?

396 Responses to “FSM Theme Park”

  1. Noodlity says:

    A display of the FSM’s greatest drunken design blunders, featuring, say, a platypus, a blobfish, an axolotl, and so on and so forth. Because these are things that can only exist through the miracle of un-intelligent design.

    With stuffed toy souvenirs, of course.

  2. Sven says:

    A vending machine, where a modeled FSM flies down and ‘creates’ a little man out of candy.

    • smartyhardyhar says:

      jeez you got brains Sven that’s funny. maybe… GOOD Candy that doesn’t cause Cancer. whatever. with a brander cancer crab in our pirate ship.

  3. Jos says:

    There should be a ride for kiddies… with the FSM in the middle, and you can ride his noodly appendages.. where the appendages spin around, kinda like the Octopus!

  4. robert says:

    The pastafarians of new york will fund and support the endevour you are bringing to the world. furthermore, we wish to raise revenue to get the park into fruition. we will raise funds to do this, FSM please help us put this all together.

    Signed The FSM of WNY

    • smartyhardyhar says:

      kentucky kansas and PASTAFARIANS in the name of Aunty Em. Daisy Duke. IYAM.. and ummmm.. all of you’s

      • smartyhardyhar says:

        and Wayne Edmonshuck Gretzky – Mikey J Fox Edmonshuck right and ummmm Recycling. whatever money we got. Marlyn Mansoites playing Cyndi Lauper Time After Time SAY WHAAAAAT??? this is fruitified in the name of fruition and the HOLY PAST SPIRIT. fizzo.

        • smartyhardyhar says:

          holy moly macaroni pasta spirit.

  5. MiggyEvans says:

    What about the “Influence of Science via Noodly Appendage” exhibit. There can be all sorts of science like calculators, beakers full of tomato sauce, noodle ropes strength tests, creation measuring devices, and all rigged to show incorrect numbers, complete with a sign that explains that His Noodleness will always influence the results (though admitting that he’s far too busy to be consistent in such an exhibit, so the results are modified as per his will)

    • smartyhardyhar says:

      world of science likes this – get the NORTHERN ALBERTA LEGO ASSOCIATION on the phone for this one PLEAse. WIN!!

  6. cypressgreen says:

    1. One of those cheesy photo shops where you dress up and get expensive photos taken…of course, it would be pirate garb instead of gay 90s or cowboy wear.
    2. There should be 1/2 price admission for people in pirate regalia.
    3. A whole “Little Italy” area with restarants would be nice.
    4. The whole water theme park is necessary. What can Ark Encounter supply that’s cooler? A pool of water filled with dead animals and humans for kids to play in?

    • smartyhardyhar says:

      and noodle lego because I said so wher ein our craft room we are decorating things with cool shaped pasta and painting them gold.

  7. Velma Porq says:

    It needs a ride that explains the relationship of pirates to global warming. It will demonstrate life when pirates abundantly roamed the seas far and wide. Then it will show the current threats that the world faces. And it will end with a devastating look of what life will be like if pirate numbers continue to drop and global warming grows out of control.

  8. Smack says:

    Must have: A science center (a giant Epcot-center-like meatball) where water is turned into wine AND marinara sauce!

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