FSM Theme Park

Published December 9th, 2010 by Bobby Henderson


Open call for submissions!

How about it? Let’s brainstorm and see if we can’t come up with some fantastic attractions and artwork.  I will be shocked if we can’t outdo the Ark Encounter.  Here are some themes to work with but don’t let this limit you:

* Pirates

* Beer Volcano

* Midgets  (I’m making that hand waving gesture because it’s a touchy subject (I think (or is that a touchy subject to mention it))

* The mystery of the Pirate Fish (specifically why has its origin never been explained?)

* The Creation Mountains

What am I missing?

396 Responses to “FSM Theme Park”

1 19 20 21 22 23 27
  1. 4NICK8 says:

    Oops, I misspelled – strippers are ‘terpsichorean ecdysiasts’…I’ve gotta stay away from the beer volcano this early. º¿º

  2. calvin willis says:

    you forgot the stripper factory. i would think that this would be your first thought since this is a family oriented theme park, men & boys would want to go cause its strippers, little girls would go to view job opportunities, & women would go to remember the good old days when daddy cut her off so she was gonna get him back by showing her tits to those weird guys who watch strippers all day & order the buffet.

  3. Evil Little Thing says:

    I also support the stripper factory, and would like to recommend that amphibious boats (ducks) be provided so that we can live the dream of driving a boat full of beer and strippers to the creationist museum in Kentucky. I would like my boat to be equipped with a pair of spinning stripper poles and spud guns modified to shoot meatballs.
    I also propose a yearly field trip with the fleet of amphibious boats full of beer and strippers to the Mormon General Conference in Salt Lake City, UT. They should recognize that the Planet Kolob is also a miracle of the great FSM.

    • Keith says:

      I may be stretching the point but it was probably originally called Skolob, because if you spell it backwards it is an extremely lazy way of spelling bollocks.

      • Atsap Revol says:

        Next you will be trying to tell me that the Golden Plates were tin. I will have to send a couple of our young Elders around to your place to get you squared away. Maybe they can even get you to wear magic underwear. Come to think of it, Mormonism is no more of a stretch than conventional Christianity; it’s just newer.

        AR, Iconoclast Extraordinaire

        • Keith says:

          Smith was mistaken. They were actually made of aurichalcum: not because of its value or practicality but because it sounds more mysterious and exciting. Remember, everything with a name in religion has to sound mysterious or vague. It gives the philosophers something to argue about and, to quote Deep Thought “You’ll be on the Gravy Train for life”.
          Looks like the Elders paid me a visit yesterday: two windows smashed and two “security” screens ripped off. They rather kindly left a donation of blood as their calling card.

        • TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

          At least Jesus didn’t have a wife calling him a fraud like Smith did. Or so we think.

  4. Jordan T says:

    The Beer volcano roller coaster, its a “water” ride, like splash mountain and such, only you get splashed by beer

    • Jordan T says:

      And we sit in pirate ships obviously for it

  5. Clint says:

    Marinara wave pool, anyone? And are there going to be characters dressed up, like Mosey and such?

  6. Andrew Hamblin says:

    are we forgetting to mention the mystery of the jollyfish

    • Andrew Hamblin says:

      also the front entrance of the stripper factory be a place of worship

  7. Max says:

    Maybe a ride in the shape of the Traditional pirates vs Global warming?

  8. Sandie Loyst says:

    AmericanHealthJournal is seeking partnerships with website owners in the medicine field. AmericanHealthJournal is a health care content site which owns three thousand of high quality medical videos. We are in need of individuals to write guest articles to our brand. Please get in touch with us at our contact form on our web site.

1 19 20 21 22 23 27

Leave a Reply