FSM Theme Park

Published December 9th, 2010 by Bobby Henderson


Open call for submissions!

How about it? Let’s brainstorm and see if we can’t come up with some fantastic attractions and artwork.  I will be shocked if we can’t outdo the Ark Encounter.  Here are some themes to work with but don’t let this limit you:

* Pirates

* Beer Volcano

* Midgets  (I’m making that hand waving gesture because it’s a touchy subject (I think (or is that a touchy subject to mention it))

* The mystery of the Pirate Fish (specifically why has its origin never been explained?)

* The Creation Mountains

What am I missing?

396 Responses to “FSM Theme Park”

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  1. jai says:

    it must be open only from midnight friday morning to 1159 friday evening.

  2. Sarah says:

    methinks we need to have our own private island… somewhere near the Equator, maybe? So the strippers won’t get cold? We can pray to His Noodlyness to create an island for us, so we don’t have to go through the hassle of buying one. And maybe this volcano – a new kind of volcano, one that spews ice-cold beer, rather than million-degree lava – can pour into a lake of beer. We can arrange pirate ship ferry rides to Isle ______(I can’t think of a suitably entertaining name, but I was it to be Isle something, not Island something. Isle is much cooler). Oh, also, the trees need to grow noodles and stripperfruit, and the bushes need to be pruned into His Holy shape. The whole island should vaguely resemble something FSM-ish, be it a stripper, a pirate hat, or His Noodly Likeness I’m not sure. Maybe all of them, each from a different angle. I’m sure He could do that quite easily.

  3. George says:

    I think a wedding chapel in the form of a great pirate ship would be nice. There should be lots of rigging which would symbolize the inviolable binding of holy matrimony and there should be tall thick masts with great billowing sails and flags. The masts symbolize the potency and strength of the holy union; the sails symbolize the new found freedom the couple now has to blow where they will go. I am not sure what the etiquette is for Pastafarian weddings but I think there should be a vast wooden plank for the couple to walk. Perhaps the couples could jump from the plank into intricately carved oak vats of the pasta sauce of their choice. The sauce symbolizes the thick gooey medium of love which the couple has hopelessly immersed themselves into and yes, I am in favor of full immersion, none of this sprinkling of a few drops here and there like other traditions might do. Ornate golden treasure chests for keeping the rings and vows etc. would be nice. Musicians and orators would have a place on the bridge; the rest of the wedding party would congregate on the poop deck previously swabbed to perfection by the deckhands under direction of the mates … just a few thoughts!

  4. Critic01;) says:

    I believe in the FSM and all, but arent you taking it a bit far ?

    • Rev.Stu says:

      Too far is always better than not far enough.

  5. Patong beach says:

    My wife and i have been quite delighted that Ervin could carry out his analysis through your ideas he was given out of the site. It is now and again perplexing just to possibly be freely giving concepts which often many others have been trying to sell. And we all understand we need the writer to give thanks to for this. These explanations you’ve made, the straightforward web site navigation, the relationships your site make it possible to instill – it’s got most fantastic, and it’s really letting our son and our family do think that theme is amusing, and that’s wonderfully essential. Thank you for everything!

  6. Manny says:

    Well, what about a Noodly Appendage roller-coaster?

  7. Metallavery says:

    One of the main attractions would be a giant beer volcano. In the Volcano is a ride of the creation of earth. At the end of the ride would be at the top of the volcano. where theres a Club that has stripers!
    All the workers at the park would be pirates. There should also be an event that happens every hour or two called “The truth of pirates!” where you go on a pirate ship(the park would be near a large lake or large man made lake or the ocean or something.) with you’re captain Black beard. And you will go along as he tells you the true tail of the pirates. then you’d get attack by the evil British. Then there would be a show where the pirates and the evil British fight. and then the british ship will sink (kinda like the treasure island pirate ship battle in los vegas.) There wil also be cold beer served on the ship, in fact every where in the park you can buy cold beer.
    There should also be a pirate lazer tag. Where ever one must dress up in pirate out fits (Wich they buy from the park) and play lazer tag with swords!

    Then there would also be a ton of other rides
    Like the Septette monster twister(a twisty turny roller coaster)
    The Pirate ship raging rapids(a really awesome pirate themed water ride)
    spaghetti monster Monster trip of doom(one of the really fast and tall roller coasters)
    Pirate themed roller coaster.
    The Spaghetti tosser! (one of though giant spires where you go up and down the crash down.)

  8. Otis says:

    The Pirate Fish’s origins haven’t been explained because the FSM wills it so!!!!

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