FSM Theme Park

Published December 9th, 2010 by Bobby Henderson


Open call for submissions!

How about it? Let’s brainstorm and see if we can’t come up with some fantastic attractions and artwork.  I will be shocked if we can’t outdo the Ark Encounter.  Here are some themes to work with but don’t let this limit you:

* Pirates

* Beer Volcano

* Midgets  (I’m making that hand waving gesture because it’s a touchy subject (I think (or is that a touchy subject to mention it))

* The mystery of the Pirate Fish (specifically why has its origin never been explained?)

* The Creation Mountains

What am I missing?

396 Responses to “FSM Theme Park”

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  1. FSMFTW says:

    make a ride about how the FSM pushes people down istead of gravity maybe like a bouncy house for it

  2. Roger says:

    What am I missing?

    Duh, Stripper factory.

  3. Brian says:

    Sidewalk would be nice…

  4. Mason says:

    A blimp shaped like Him floating around the park

  5. Mason says:

    Also, a pirate school. We need more pirates.

  6. clxxxiv says:

    With foam noodles for pools possiblities are endsless with water theme.
    Beer volcano just not possible but a water slide easily done. Maybe a volcano shaped bar? Aka a volcano/tiki theme strip club. Back in NY there is one that stole parts from an arcade that had giant talking tiki heads that greated you on way in. Might want to find out where or how made. Could use robots to praise gospel of the FSM at the strip club.

    Have the FSM effigy rise out of a volcano (5 stories high) forced liquid out for water slide that moves you to a pool just outside the stripper pirate ship shaped bar! Make said bar serve only italian food and your could even have olive oil wrestling with the girls. this could serve as the representation of creation.

    Migets could at as bouncers going for the reals ones as need for pirates who have had to much frolicking.

    The creation moutian could be a fish fry near a road side to attract new converts for his holiness. Using a pirate fish (a guy in costume) to bring in new converts. The history of the pirate fish story could be the theme inside the fish fry. Could even put in an aquarium.

    Other theme rides meatballs cresedo (aka log flume)
    The creation matrix of exploding greatness (bumper boats) use giant beach balls as targets. (look like meatballs)

    Then a FSM Hangover to creation (aka a rollercoaster) That way they can feel how mess up his holiness was upon creating us.

  7. Amy says:

    An Italian Restaurant

    • clxxxiv says:

      A place were loud hairy men can grunt “hey yooz” all day long.

  8. Dabroski says:


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